DH doesn't care how he looks - AIBU (and shallow)?

[boggysiscuit]

I think I probably am. Thread over. That was easy.

(Not really)

DH and I are probably both 6/10 on physical appearance but we madly fancy each other and all is well with regard to sex life etc.

Buuuut...it does annoy me that he gives literally not a shit what he wears. He works somewhere without a dress code so wears jeans and t-shirt. Maybe a shirt and tie if meeting a Director. Outside of work it's jeans and t-shirt. Maybe a football shirt. Not nice ones. Skanky ones with holes in. He has a gross coat that looks like a sheepskin number a football manager would have worn in the 80s. The elastic on his pants is barely attached. He has one pair of shoes at a time which he wears to death and then replaces.

I have bought him nicer stuff as gifts in the past like well-made t-shirts or Levis rather than M&S jeans but he never retires the old holey stuff (does this make me sound like a controlling bitch?).

I must say he is meticulous about showering, shaving and smelling nice. It's just the clothes.

I do feel a little embarrassed sometimes that he looks so shabby. He says he doesn't care what other people think. This is what makes me think IABU and shallow.

Yabu. If he has good personal hygiene and doesn't smell then I can't see the problem. I don't think you get a say in how he dresses. It's obviously what he feels comfortable in.

YANBU. He should have some form of personal pride and looking scruffy to the extent of not having the elastic attached to his underwear is, to be honest, a bit of an insult to you. You're not asking him to don a Tom Ford suit every day for goodness sake, just to dress decently and smartly. It will be difficult though because he obviously thinks there's no problem.

I think you're going to have to tell him that this is serious, it bothers you, and it would mean a lot to you if he made an effort to dress in a smarter way. Also ask him to throw out and replace anything with holes in. How embarrassing!

Glad it's not just mine. I buy him new socks/pants/T-shirts, and they get put to the back of the drawer until such time as the old ones he wears all the time actually completely fall apart.
He also thinks it is totally unreasonable for me to buy new shoes when I've had the old ones only a year or two, just because he bought a pair of shoes back in 2003 which he is still wearing.

Mine is the same. Holes in Ts. Worn trainers and scruffy jeans. He doesnt even get when something is clearly old and worn. At parent evening he managed to find the oldest mis-shapen grandad shirt he could find and ripped jeans. I was embarrassed. I do bin stuff periodically and I also feel shallow but I'm fed up of this SHaggy look when he has new clothes bought by me.

The image of a man wearing his mums old raincoat has cheered me up no end

I am actually crying with laughter right now at this thread, absolutely hilarious!! And yes my husband also usually looks as though he just raided an elderly man's bin....

My dp wears old t-shirts at home after work if we're not expecting anyone but daytime wears nice clothing he even asks I go clothes shopping with him to pick out nice things were both happy with that arrangement 😊

Argh my DH will not only will he wear holey clothes but stained clothes :( so yucky!!!! I do "lose" the odd thing which is absolutely hideous though... and no YANBU if you only want him to look clean and tidy.