To be be fed up with my 3yr old ordering me around?

[Tatteredlace]

I know, she's only 3... but the constant ''Make me some apple juice in my new frozen cup with the curly straw please Mummy!"

Like, jeez, why can't you ask nicely... Please can you, can you please? She knows to ask nicely but still insists on being a diva and expects me to answer to her beck and call.

EURRGHHHH I just want to snap sometimes.

She can clearly see that I am carrying a box the size on a small horse and trying to clamber over the baby who wants to park herself on my foot GRRR

Rant over... Phew... feel a little better now

My non-verbal 20 month old manages to be impressively bossy for someone limited to gesture and shouting GAH!

I quite often get pointed at then he points at the floor while nodding crossly. That means "Please would you sit cross legged on the floor mummy so I can sit on you?"

I survived on looking slightly pained and sad every time I received a demand.

This usually resulted in a reissued demand with the word please jammed in. I decided to settle for that...

The hitting is pure frustration relief. It is an automatic response - it doesn't have to be learned. Again looking sad and saying how sad being hit makes you feel will eventually produce apologies and one day even an end to hitting...

My 2.3 year old knows he gets nothing if he starts with "I want"!

Thanks for the advice ladies, I dont expect her to be perfect but equally I dont expect her to shout/hit me.

She's a very good speaker, so I forget that she has alot of emotional learning to do :(

I have two of this age and my response is always the same when they forget 'And how do you ask me?' They have pretty excellent manners on the whole now as they never get anything without a 'please may I' and a 'thank you'. I am a total dictator when it comes to manners. They're kids, they have a lot to learn, but manners are non-negotiable. My DS has started the 'now!' which DD doesn't do, and its the same response 'how do you ask me for things?'.

Hitting or shouting / rudeness is a time out. I often give a couple of 'don't speak to me like that, use kind words please / use kind hands' but if it persists its a time out. Equally sometimes they say 'mummy that's not kind words' when I snap and I think yep, fair enough. Respect is a two way street.

The way I look at it, yes, they're kids, but they will be adults one day and there are enough rude adults around without adding to it. My DS even said 'thank you for having me' to his nursery teacher the other day which made me ridiculously proud

My 4 year old is exactly the same OP. We have a running joke in our family that she is not happy unless she has someone (preferably more than one person) running around after her. I usually tell her to wait until I have finished whatever it is I'm doing (and ignore the wails of protest). The good news is my two year old is nothing like that!

There is a lot of repeating 'ask nicely' in This house. And not just jamming a please on the end of a demand. And thanking their swimming teacher/sports teacher/waitress at the end of class/lunch etc.

They won't learn manners without being made to practice it.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne
Great idea :-) i'll remember that for when Bean is older

I find "Do you mean "please may I have some apple juice in my frozen cup" ds1?" gets the correct phrase out of my 3.5yo. Mind you I've been doing it since he was a dinky dot barely able to manage ta

Oh and mine is very keen on things being fair so if he's being challenging I ask him if what he's doing is fair? Or kind/respectful/friendly/whatever. He can tell by the look ony face whether the answer is yes or no!

Counting down from 5 helps me not shout, with the usual consequence being that he's asked to go to his room if we're at home or sometimes I tell him a different more relevant consequence (ie you he's chucking about being removed). Gives him time to rethink for himself - basically he gets 5 warnings (or 5/10 seconds) to decide if what he's doing is worth it. He rarely gets beyond 4

My sister is good at getting her kids to ask nicely,they boss her about and she says ' use your words to ask nice and politely' but she says it really firmly. Works really well them.

It's OK, OP, you are not alone.

I get told off all the time for singing, get told to sit down, walk faster please, drive mummy, drive! stay there at home please, etc etc.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne you're on the money!

I will implement this tonight.

Didn't get too much of this with DC but you have just reminded me of the phase DS went through, at 3 ish, of telling me (quite emphaticall) that I must walk behind him, lol

Just don't know where it came from. I was too astounded (and amused) by it to get cross

OP, she probably thought that she had asked nicely, as she did say "please".

You're not alone OP, although mine sounds worse to be honest! She's 4 in August and swear to god she thinks she's the boss round here. She's always had good manners and now suddenly I have to remind her every. single. time to say please/thank you. It's draining! Could put up with that were it not for the constant shitty, teenagery attitude. This morning was hands on hips and "well, you are NOT bringing that picnic out mummy. And you are DEFINITELY not bringing my skirt out." I was not impressed - she got told off for being so rude! Luckily for me she still doesn't like it when I get cross with her so we hugged it out and she was fine after that. I definitely need to figure out a consistent strategy but tbh she's never been like this before and it's blindsided me a bit!

my neighbour spoilt her dd from the word go, the little snowflake had to have everything - all discussed in the garden - loudly and now mum is always complaining how bratty she is -really hate to hear that, but the kid doesn't know any different, it's sad to hear.

incidently she is 10 and her elder brother is 13, but he was never fussed over so much is it a girl thing ?

Sooner she starts learning about the concept of "no" the happier you'll all be in the long run.

My dd is exactly the same and she isn't 3 til the end of August!

She has an iron will too and the temper to match not mine at all honest

Biting my tongue and repeating "you get nothing while you are being rude" is my only advice to you. My CM mentioned dd's defiant and exacting attitude today and laughed that she could tell she was nearly 3.

Everyone tells me it is a phase and she will grow out of it.

Does your dd go to nursery/preschool at all? Dd starts in September and I am hoping it influences a change in her behaviour

My DD is nearly 3 and very much like this. A you say, very verbal can be confusing to parents as the emotional side needs work.

Some great ideas on here. I often find myself saying 'what's the word of the day?' And it is always 'please.'

It's a developmental stage, like crawling or tantrums,, not all of them do it. They are around the age of 3.

They're not spoilt or being rude deliberately, they don't think to themselves 'I know I'm going to be bossy and rude now' . They're learning how to assert their individuality , and how, also how NOT, to socialise.

So it will pass and the more calmly it is dealt with by the parent\carer, the
less fuss that is made about it the better.

She is at Pre-School, she is a completely different child there though. No shouting, no attitude and no demands.

We have done lots to try and curb her attitude i.e. kindness charts, sticker charts, special playing time. It all works for a short time and then she just gets over and it and doesn't care anymore.

She has great manners and is usually very polite, it's just me she seems to have some mini vendetta against!

She's relaxed with you! it's compliment! It also shows she's very bright!