family missing christening

[pestov]

NCd. AIBU to be pissed off that my siblings are not coming to my DD's christening? They were warned when I was pregnant that it would likely be near my OH's family (other end of the country) and were told the actual date almost 6 months ago so they could book and save if necessary. It's only today when I asked where they were staying that all 3 of them admitted they still hadn't booked anything, and were probably too skint to come! It's in 2 weeks and I'm heartbroken. I have already paid the deposit for the restaurant as none of them even hinted they might not make it, I see them each about once a month and none are even entertaining the idea of going without their OHs & DCs.

8 hours drive or possibly a flight is a big ask IMO. Especially if money and time is tight.

Don't be 'heartbroken' enjoy the day and don't dwell on it.

What a drama monger. You're 'heartbroken' that people don't want to go to great effort and expense for an event that they weren't formally invited to, and is probably rather meaningless (or worse, offensive) to them? Many people would balk at doing that for a wedding, let alone a christening!

Get on with the day, enjoy it for yourselves, and don't let this sour what is more important - having a good relationship with your family.

I had the same thing, I moved 200miles to live with my partner and bring up our daughter near his family which means I rarely see my family, when we decided to get out DD christened we decided to have it at the church I grew up going to, I was a server there and my grandad church warden. His family all knew about this and we found a cheap hotel for them and everything and the only people out of his whole family that came were his aunt and uncle.

Get you church to do a naming, then go for brunch locally with your family?

Then have the christening miles away

It is lovely to hear of a baby being Christened for the right reasons

OP... just a quick question, if your In laws and your partner's siblings expected to travel to you... then why did you arrange for the christening to be near them? It sounds as if they would have travelled but you made arrangements that impacted your family so that they couldn't/wouldn't instead.

I think you'll have to take some responsibility for the smaller attendance at the christening because the arrangements you've made have pre-empted that really.

Yabu and overreacting quite a bit.
I wouldn't travel not expect anyone to come to my lo's christening it they didn't want to and indeed have d
Perhaps you can have a celebration with your family when you get back.

The welcoming is important to us - we go to mass every week and have done prep classes at our church so I'm upset they won't be there. I wouldn't have minded so much if they had said something months ago, it's the lack of declining that's angered me the most.

This is reasonable - there's always loads of threads here about wishing people would RSVP for events and stick to it. If you'd only posted that everyone would have agreed with you.

They were warned when I was pregnant that it would likely be ... (other end of the country) and were told the actual date almost 6 months ago so they could book and save if necessary.

none are even entertaining the idea of going without their OHs & DCs.

Journey is about 8 hours in car but we will be flying, Christening is on a Saturday.

These last bits are though. It's clear you're upset, but the important thing is the christening itself, and it's importance to you. Not how much effort other people should or should not be making to get there.

There is no way I would travel 8 hours for a christening (as I hate flying, I would have no alternative). I think it is a lovely thing to do to make it convenient for aged parents or parents in law and good for you. But I wouldn't get my knickers in a knot about the others. It's perfectly reasonable for them to say "really, it's just not feasible"

Sorry, but YABU. You want your siblings to either drive 8 hours or fly to your OH's hometown, staying at least one night in a B&B to attend your DD's christening. You think they should because they "were told the actual date almost 6 months ago so they could book and save if necessary".

They've told you they're skint. And frankly, even if they weren't, they're entitled to spend their money how they choose, not how you choose to spend it for them.

8 hours in a car?

What time is the christening on the Saturday? They will need to stay more than one night, if it's 8 hours.

Or do you expect them to drive down on the Friday, attend the christening and then drive the 8 hours back?

Or drive down on the Friday (taking time off work) staying Friday and Saturday and then driving back on the Sunday? That's an expensive weekend for some people.

Sorry OP but Yabu. Massively so.

I also think 'heart broken' is a huge over reaction.