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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be in a pub on my own?

41 replies

KittyLaRoux · 19/06/2016 15:18

Daft argument with DP. We had planned to go to the pub but he left the hose stating he was going out.
I decided not to change my plans.
I am sat in a lovely pub garden overlooking the river and feel/felt comfortable on my own. However the looks from otger patrons and concern from the bar staff are making me feel lime i am commiting a masdive crime.
So aibu to want to be sitting in a pub by myself enjoying the day and my own company with out judgement?

OP posts:
EveryoneElsie · 19/06/2016 15:19

Is it a men only pub? Or a gay bar?

Original poster
KittyLaRoux · 19/06/2016 15:20

Sorry bad typos blame the stupid tiny keyboard on my phone. Sorry if it makes no sense i really have had only 1 drink. Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
KittyLaRoux · 19/06/2016 15:21

Local pub. Mixture of couples famlies and dogs.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 19/06/2016 15:21

I don't see why anyone should be seeing it as a problem.

madmother1 · 19/06/2016 15:22

I don't see any problem with that. I've had a walk up the town on my own and popped to have a coffee with my book. Other people, male and female were on their own too.

EveryoneElsie · 19/06/2016 15:22

In that case I have bad news. You are flashing a boob, or your skirt is tucked into your knickers.

MitzyLeFrouf · 19/06/2016 15:24

You're just feeling self conscious. I'm sure no one is looking aghast at a woman having a drink by herself. Pub garden overlooking a river sounds like a nice and soothing location after a minor domestic. Enjoy!

Original poster
KittyLaRoux · 19/06/2016 15:29

I really did just check then everyone Grin

Very sweet couple have asked me 3 times now if i am ok and waiting for somebody.

I am actually enjoying myself. There is an abundance of people watching wich is my favourite pass time. Also my family life is very busy so time alone is a rare.

OP posts:
EatShitDerek · 19/06/2016 15:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
KittyLaRoux · 19/06/2016 15:38

I am loving how uncomfortable my alone status is making some people. Couple on the next table have decided i am depressed and suicidal Hmm.
I have braved a second drink. Bartender more ir less gave his condolences Confused

OP posts:
NickiFury · 19/06/2016 15:40

I've never had this and I often go out to eat/drink/cinema alone. Maybe I just don't notice.

Rachel0Greep · 19/06/2016 15:42

Darn it, I'm often out and about alone, and nobody gives me the slightest bit of heed. What am I doing wrong? Wink

AlpacaPicnic · 19/06/2016 15:43

God that would piss me right off. Ask once if someone is ok, that's nice and caring. Ask several times and you are interrupting my 'me' time...

I walked home one lovely sunny day and decided to sit for a few minutes by the reservoir and enjoy the quiet. Some interfering passer by decided that I 'looked lonely' and sat next to me and started talking to me Angry pissorf! I was enjoying the view and now my British sense of politeness means I have to make small talk...

EveryoneElsie · 19/06/2016 15:43

Act all sad but brave and they might buy you chocolates Grin

Trooperslane · 19/06/2016 15:45

I love going out on my own.

Original poster
KittyLaRoux · 19/06/2016 15:45

No idea. Maybe i am giving off an air of leave me be which is like a moth to a flame to some folk.
Cinema alone never a problem. This is a busy pub in a large city but it has a village feel to it. Could that be the reason?

OP posts:
Pendu · 19/06/2016 15:45

Uff three times?

Say your friend is sitting right opposite and ask with a puzzled look on your face why they haven't noticed your friend.

I sat in Costa the other day for an hour or so with my laptop and felt kinda awkward. I even asked if it was ok to sit there with it Grin I did buy 2 overpriced hot chocolate , I wasn't loitering

MitzyLeFrouf · 19/06/2016 15:48

Do you have red raw sobby face with mascara smeared all over your cheeks? Are you wailing 'cruel, cruel world' and shaking your fists at the sky?

Otherwise I'm surprised you're getting so much concerned attention.

Original poster
KittyLaRoux · 19/06/2016 15:53

Nope normal face. No tears infact my make up looks ok for a change.

It is a very local pub if that makes a difference?
Nice couple have been joined by another couple now they all look concerned

OP posts:
gunsandbanjos · 19/06/2016 15:54

Your pub sounds weird! I've eaten and drank by myself loads of times and no one bats an eyelid.

I like my own company and love people watching.

Paintedhandprints · 19/06/2016 16:02

Have you lined up a series of shots interspersed with bottles of paracetamol on the table in front of you?
Maybe they want your table. Is it in prime position in front of the window?
Are you blatantly listening in on their conversation?
Asking once if you are okay is nice. Asking multiple times is a bit pa. Is it a local pub, for known locals only?

tiredsotiredso · 19/06/2016 16:12

They probably just wanted your table.

freshprincess · 19/06/2016 16:15

They probably think you've been stood up!

Original poster
KittyLaRoux · 19/06/2016 16:17

The table is a prime one. Under cover and facing the river. Its rained a bit.
Are people so ruthless they wiuld want my suicide for the good table Confused

It is a strange pub. In yorkshire too so that adds to the strangness.
Personally i am very comfortable in pubs i was reared in one. I have been in many a city pub alone and never felt such interest. I fear this pub is a bit league of gentleman.

OP posts:
tiredsotiredso · 19/06/2016 16:26

It is about the table. They are watching because they think you are leaving soon. I find things in life are not about us but are about the person projecting onto us. In this case their chat/concern is about when they can pounce on your table.