4 years ago I broke up with my XP and whilst trying to do the right thing for me and him I'm fairly certain I hurt him quite badly. We got together young (I was 20), it was my first serious relationship and I realise I'm retrospect that while I liked (and still like) him a lot and i don't think I was attracted to him.
After a few years together I worked closely with Y, fell head over heels in love, agonized a few weeks and after a work session with I in which I felt resentful that i couldn't pursue my feelings with Y and angry at going back to X I decided that I needed to end it with X.
I did and got together with Y a few weeks later. Y and I are still together and very happy.
I moved away from the area where X and I lived together. We met a few times for coffee afterwards (on his instigation) but when he still wanted to hold my hand/ act like a couple I told him that while I'd like to see him again as a friend I think we needed some time away from each other.
Since then I haven't seen him or has much contact. Occasionally we exchange e-mails about our respective areas of interest.
If you're still here, well done. Now my dilemma:
I accepted a regular, long-term work gig that takes me to the area where he lives. And I'm wondering of I should get in touch with him to ...
A) inform him that we might run into each B) ask if he wants to meet for a coffee as friends and see how we get on.
My reasons for thinking it would be a good idea to tell him:
He would be prepared of he ran into me and could choose to avoid the town centre on the day (always the same weekday).
I also think he might be hurt of he finds out I'm in the are regularly without having told him.
Why I think it might be a stupid idea.
It's not guaranteed that i will meet him. He might not want to hear from me. It might upset him to get an e-mail from me that doesn't follow our regular pattern. (Check out this article about the thing you are interested in.)
I still feel very guilty about the way I left him and am therefore hugely over thinking the dilemma. Help!