WIBU to ban DH from touching the cake?

[Germgirl]

I mean look at it! I baked a coconut and raspberry jam cake yesterday. We had a small alive last night & then dh woke up at 2am peckish so I said to go down & get some more cake.
He reappeared with a plate but I was nearly asleep so didn't notice the state of it.
It appears he 'cut' a slice with either his fingers or a spoon!
My lovely cake! Mangled!
So, WIBU to not allow him to cut his own cake in future?
This is obviously lighthearted. Do I need to say that?

[Sheusedtobesomeonelse]

I'm no good at slicing bread either, i ask at the boulangerie for them to do it for me in their wonderful thin, straight-slice magic machine

I'm going to try that recipe, i love dessicated cocnut, i love raspberry jam - whats not to enjoy?!

[Sheusedtobesomeonelse]

Cutting with a spoon is pretty bad, but for me - not eating cake with anything else BUT a spoon is almost as bad..
My partner is such a food snob, he won't eat cake / pudding / dessert / with his fingers

The fingers are meant to be licked, he wont have it!

[Germgirl]

I hope you all enjoy your cakes. And that they stay neat and tidy

[TwirlyHoos]

My Dad should have a cake cutting ban. Take a nice round cake that has had some neat slices taken from it, all radiating from the centre, and he will come along and cut out a section from the edge

[blueskyinmarch]

That cake looks lovely. I would be straightening it up all day until there was none left!

[Nefer795]

It is deeply unfortunate and profoundly to be regretted that this incompetent attempt to cut a once glorious cake has resulted in the entire remaining portion having to be discarded. In the bin. Which has been emptied. Oh, and it was collection day. Alas, this explains why there is no cake left when dh looks tonight.
Nothing to do with having eaten the lot.
Oh no.
Move on please, no crumbs here.

[NeverEverAnythingEver]

Twirly That's because the edge is nice. I will put up with edge cutting as long as it's cut neatly. Though I must say we are a family of geometrically-minded people so that would never happen...

[TaliZorahVasNormandy]

I might make that cake with DD. We love cake. Although her cake cutting skills are even worse your DH's.

[Razorlightnight]

Wait .. he woke at 2am peckish so went and ate cake? Is this something that people do? Am I missing out on a meal time?

[Sheusedtobesomeonelse]

At least your DD is trying to cut her cake aliZorah - mine would probably just put her head down and scoff like pigs!

[Oysterbabe]

Cake is just not a lighthearted matter.

[00100001]

I'm very surprised that you are just keeping it to a cake touching ban.

Seriously, get yourself a solicitor to protect your sweet treat assets and LTB! I mean, what do you get out of this relationship apart from unsightly baked goods???

[Germgirl]

Razor we don't usually eat cake at 2am. In fact hardly ever.
I did offer to make him a sandwich but in a very half hearted manner. Maybe I should've insisted and saved the cake.

[Germgirl]

And, AND! He had the audacity to wake me up and tell me that although the cake is very nice, could I please use seed free jam next time as its like "crunching on toenails" apparently.
Pffft!
I've just remembered that bit.

[NeverEverAnythingEver]

Huh! LTB, definitely!

[Notbigandnotclever]

My brother used to cut mazes in our Christmas cake or cut out a perfect slice from the very centre. It used to drive my mum insane.

[PPie10]

Yabu because now I want cake !
Yanbu though to see your hard work mangled that way.

[LBOCS2]

This was my DH's cake cutting effort, which led to his ban on ever helping himself to cake again. YWNBU to ban your DH. Or LTB.

[TaliZorahVasNormandy]

LBO, that kind of cake cutting deserves the punishment of being forced to watch everyone eat the cake, knowing he cant have any.

[00100001]

I feel like showing you all how my DH opens boxes... but I'm sacred for you all - that you will all scream and faint at the abject horror of it all..

[WhatchaMaCalllit]

I'd recommend taking him to Specsavers (other opticians are available) to see if he has an astigmatism or some such vision issue where he constantly cuts cakes on a weird slant.

Thanks for the recipe - I'll give that a shot at the weekend!

I'd also consider using more seeded jams the next time, if your DH doesn't like chewing on toenails, he wont want any of the cake so more for you - always here to help

[Germgirl]

I'm on the lookout for a jam with extra seeds for next time.
LBO my dh does that to round cakes too. How? Why? How hard is it to cut a cake neatly?.

[LizKeen]

Looks great. Think I will make that shortly. Thanks OP.

My DH doesn't cut the cake. He would have just hacked it in half and eaten half of it like one slice.

Though he doesn't like coconut so when I make it today it will be safe from him. :o

[WhatchaMaCalllit]

This reminds me of the spoof courses available for men (joke thing that has been on the internet for years now but it is still funny, and yes there are spoof courses for women but there aren't as many )

Week One of Evening Classes for Men

1. TOILET ROLLS - DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
   Roundtable discussion
   
   
2. DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKETS AND FLOOR
   Practising with hamper (pictures and graphics)
   
   
3. DISHES & CUTLERY: DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
   Debate among a panel of experts (Guest Speakers may include Elves)
   
   
4. HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
   Step by step guide with slide presentation
   
   
5. EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
   Group discussion and role play
   
   
6. LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
   Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum

[AnnaMarlowe]

I'm just slightly distracted by the pictures of lovely cake.

I'm going to make that cake no one else in the family likes coconut which I will pretend to have forgotten