AIBU or is my friend?

[Twinklestar2]

I have a son who is nearly 2 and a friend who I have been friends with for 25 years.

I had problems conceiving my child and ended up having IVF which worked second time round. Friend knows this. She doesn't have a child of her own yet.

Friend also wants a child but about a year before I conceived her fiancé got someone else pregnant. I was there for her, cried, supported her, threatened to kill him! I feel like I'm a good friend to her.

We seem to have a blow up every year. It generally starts with her picking away at me till I snap back. I think we are getting close to this now...

She keeps on digging at me about my son, saying I'm OTT about him because I said I was cutting my days at work from 5 to 4 to spend more time with him and that I needed to get a grip.

Laughing at me looking at holidays through Tots To Travel. And saying her sister and husband are taking their son and driving to France from London, not booking any hotels, just rocking up in France and will find a hotel at the time. She then said that her sister and husband are very relaxed with her nephew and 'she isn't up her son's arse all the time, her son has just slotted into their lives', basically insinuating that I am. I didn't bite, I just said I couldn't do that cause I like to be organised.

Telling me that having half an hour for lunch was ridiculous when she knows I do that so I can leave work half an hour early to get home to do bath and bedtime.

I think I do the things that normal mums do. Or am I OTT? maybe I'm a little more PFB with him because of how long I had to wait and what I went through to go with him. But I thought that would be understandable.

For what it's worth I do feel sorry for her. I wanted a child for years before I had one. It is awful to see other people have what you so desperately want. It's not your fault of course, but I am always sensitive when talking to people who don't have kids, I try not to rattle on and I never pry into whether they want or are planning kids.

If it were me I'd be thinking I'd outgrown the friendship. She picks at you for a year, then you blow up, then the cycle starts again.
Has she pushed everyone else away like this?

Thx everyone some really good points.

I've known her for 25 years but she was my sister's best friend first and then our families knew each other so we didn't choose to be friends, we became friends because of my sister.

I think I will back off a bit and also not talk about my son to her, I'll only do it if asked.

I have this niggling feeling a lot that she likes to know what's going on in my life and to be involved but more so she's kept in the loop rather than anything else. I don't know, maybe I'm not explaining myself very well.

Thx all again, def will take your comments on board.

She is horrible. A real nasty piece of work.

I wouldn't speak to her again tbh. Life is far to short to put up with spiteful cunts.

*too

I think she sounds desperately jealous. You said you think she spends time with you to be kept in the loop; I wonder whether she so badly wants what you have that she has lost sight of the friendship and meets you almost just to torture herself and you. I'm sure she doesn't actually think the way you treat your son is too precious (it sounds very normal), I think she is being scathing because tearing you down makes her feel a bit better and she sounds so unhappy!