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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

School plays

71 replies

Pambilaga1608 · 14/06/2016 19:11

AIBU to be pissed off that my very feminine dd is being asked yet again to play the part of an old man ? The last 3 shows she has played either an old woman, an old man and an evil old man ffs. She is heartbroken tonight and getting annoyed with me as I'm trying to explain to her that it's no reflection on her. Then she tells me that the teacher thinks it suits her best, silly cow. She is a very feminine girly girl so why on earth would they do this? I'm so mad with them as I feel it is psychologically damaging her in the same way giving a boy continuously a female lead would. She is the only one girl playing a male and all of the other parts are very feminine. The play is Grease by the way and there are plenty of boys to play male leads. She felt sure she was going to be a pink lady so you can imagine her shock. She couldn't keep the tears back and the teacher saw her crying but didn't change her part. She may sound like a prima Donna but she really isn't. Do I say something or does it sound overbearing?

OP posts:

CodyKing · 15/06/2016 21:10

and don't bother to consider what parts children might have had in previous years

Could add - the harvest festival. Christmas play, choir production, fashion show,

Same Kids Same year - Yawn!!

Should be a law against it

Mouikey · 15/06/2016 21:13

OP - please remember that in Shakespeare's time men played women all the time (can you imagine!) - this didn't bother them as they just wanted to live their dream, which is to be an actor. Rather concentrating on not getting the Pink Lady role, why not use that emotion to really build on the character she has been given... Thats what acting is all about. As an aside I was angel Gabriel at a school play years ago and fell off my block (which was more traumatic than playing a boy... I did resent the fairies though, I always wanted to be a fairy).

londonmummy1966 · 15/06/2016 21:14

Cody - Ha ha - did your kids go to the same primary as mine by any chance? Got so bad that when the Head announced in assembly who the headgirl was going to be they made the mistake of leaving a dramatic pause before announcing the name only for the whole of year 6 to preempt him....

ThisisMajorTomtoGroundControl · 15/06/2016 22:04

You are completely unreasonable because I now have the song Sandy stuck in my head!

grannytomine · 15/06/2016 22:36

Cody, yes I know what you mean. My GS is that child, lead part in everything since reception, reading at assembly he's your man, lead part in Christmas play yes its him, end of year production in year 6 yes he has the lead again. His little brother gets picked for nothing. I could cry for him as he so wants to do something and never gets a thing. If you get picked in reception you have a ticket for the next 7 years.

It should be more than just an amazing production, it should give kids a chance to try something new, stretch themselves a bit. I don't know how I ended up with two kids being teachers, I hate schools and loved home education.

lalalandxx · 15/06/2016 22:43

YABU! I will tell you this as a drama/dance teacher, days will have gone into the casting, most likely weeks from the sounds of it, as i presume there is a large cast. For them to change this can, most of the time, be really hard to do and cause more problems. She has got that part because her teacher thinks she can own it and be great at it. It's testament to her acting skills if they think she can change so well from her usual self to another character, so i would say support her in this and her teachers will see her maturity in taking on this character without complaint.

I know it can be really disappointing when your child doesn't get the part they want but in the long run it wont affect her. When i was younger I was a complete girly girl too but was always type-cast as a man or once (the worst, a male jester! the trousers were god awful!) If anything it only made finally getting a girl lead more exciting and enjoyable so PLEASE support her in this. She will have fun in the long run camping it up and spending time with her friends which is the most important thing

CodyKing · 16/06/2016 00:11

I beard it said that X can get to grips with all the lines -

But you notice by the end of practices ,all the kids will know all the lines - so that's just crap

ApostrophesMatter · 16/06/2016 05:27

But you notice by the end of practices ,all the kids will know all the lines - so that's just crap

That's such a crap statement. Of course they know their lines by show time but the big parts go to those who learn their lines quickly. You can't rehearse properly with a script in your hands. Both DCs have almost photographic memories as well as acting ability and had their lines down pat within a couple of weeks.

Of course they got the big roles. Reliability is sometimes better in a director's eyes than raw talent with no ability to line learning early on.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 16/06/2016 06:38

I agree that she needs to 'own' the role. After years of being third sheep on the left without auditions, this year there were auditions. Most girls went for the two lead roles, dd went for a character role and really owned it. Unsurprisingly not all the girls got a large part and so are second carrot on the left (well you get the idea) but dd did get her character role. Now rehearsals are underway, however the grumbling hasn't stopped. Some are now campaigning wishing that they had dd's part because not only does she have a substantial number of lines but also she has brought the character to life and shown them the possibilities.

Maybe around Easter next year, or whenever they do the casting, then have a word, or better still get dd to, to say that she has had a character role for three years now and next time she would prefer a more feminine but smaller role. Now is not the time to make a fuss as the show is cast and it will just seem like jealousy.

BertrandRussell · 16/06/2016 06:44

It is a bit surprising to have a girl playing a male part when there are plenty of boys, surely?

TeenAndTween · 16/06/2016 07:08

My DD is also doing primary Grease with no 'old man' role. And even other DD's secondary performance didn't have one either.

Suggest if she is really bothered she tells teacher she doesn't want to do it but accepts then she'll have a non-speaking, non-acting, generic chorus role instead.

BertrandRussell · 16/06/2016 07:16

Mind you, I think Grease is wholly unsuitable play for schools- or indeed anyone- to do.

But casting a girl in a man's part when there are boys available seems a very odd decision.

VikingVolva · 16/06/2016 07:16

"Suggest if she is really bothered she tells teacher she doesn't want to do it but accepts then she'll have a non-speaking, non-acting, generic chorus role instead."

Agree.

I'm not sure why you stress your DD's femininity so much. Not when the requirement is to act (ie assume and portray a different character). The school think she can do this, or they would not have offered the part. Do not let perceptions of being a 'girly girl' hold her back.

TeenAndTween · 16/06/2016 07:24

Bertrand I believe the primary version is very cut. (Though haven't checked DD's script yet). I am not expecting possible pregnancies in the story line, nor Rizzo's song. The 'Summer nights' song has certainly been cut/tailored.
Absolutely fine in Secondary I think.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 16/06/2016 07:26

I think it depends...

An 11+ who has auditioned for roles? YABU, if she doesn't want that role she can drop out.

Primary where kids are just given roles? YANBU if she has no choice, however your only real option is to support your daughter to say "Thanks, but no thanks.", you can't demand a different role.

MaybeAFool · 16/06/2016 07:31

I am a secondary drama teacher and, I don't know if it's different at primary schools, but we genuinely don't keep casting the same people in the bigger roles.
What does tend to happen, however, is the same kids audition year after year so inevitably familiar faces get spotted.
We cast our school play last week (we are doing Bugsy Malone) and 120 students auditioned. 20 of them could have played Bugsy. At least 4 could have been amazing Tallulahs. Ultimately, we take into account acting ability, commitment (we generally have this knowledge in schools), ability to be directed and ability to work within a team.
With tight rehearsal schedules and not huge amounts of help, the school plays are there to showcase the best possible outcome.
Obviously we sometimes take risks if a student is brilliant - but whilst school plays are great experiences and opportunities, we all want the best show we can put on.
Not everyone can get the part they want.
Oh - and several girls actively auditioned for male parts in ours. And got them. Because they were the best fit.

harryhausen · 16/06/2016 08:15

My dd is doing Grease this year and there's no old man either.

My dd has auditioned for Rizzo. She never normally goes for these things but after doing a stand up comedy routine for talent night it has given her some gusto. Several other girls also want the part. I've told her that whatever part she gets she'll just have to make it brilliant.

She played a small part of an old lady some years ago and stole the show.

Yes its disappointing when they desperately want a part but you just have to get on with it. Calling the teacher a 'silly cow' is just not on.

BertrandRussell · 16/06/2016 08:28

Good songs- awful message.

Hulababy · 16/06/2016 21:17

But you notice by the end of practices ,all the kids will know all the lines - so that's just crap

If only that was true. I only have Y2, but you see it from the start.
Often what happens, for us anyway, is that we find some children - who got big parts as learned the audition lines well and performed the well - don't learn lines, or their cues. So we end up reducing their lines, cutting words, cutting some lines and moving them over to a 'lesser' role character or a narrator - or find ways to help them such as visual prompts, maybe a scroll with the words hidden inside, etc. and sometimes it stillness up with staff sat on the floor at the front telling them their lines/words throughout.

Hulababy · 16/06/2016 21:21

Not all primaries just give out roles.

We hold auditions for Y2. They all learn the same lines/role and audition in front of the Y2 teaching staff and rest of Y2 pupils. Teaching staff make notes, and are encouraging and supportive throughout. They then go off and discuss and allocate roles for every pupil. We do ask for their preference for a speaking or non speaking role, if they'd prefer to be a dancer/musician, or an actor - and if they are able to learn lots of lines or would prefer a smaller part. We do not ask them to audition for specific parts however. We use those preferences to guide us, but ultimately make decisions based on auditions.
We also hold auditions for solo singing parts.

DD's primary did auditions from about Y2 too.

Terrifiedandregretful · 16/06/2016 22:20

There are nearly always more girls auditioning than boys, and nearly always more male parts than female (now that is an issue to get angry about), therefore girls are always going to be cast in boy's parts. It's either that or turn down eager girls while dragging unwilling boys in to play the parts. Would you prefer it if she'd got no part at all?

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