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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

School plays

71 replies

Pambilaga1608 · 14/06/2016 19:11

AIBU to be pissed off that my very feminine dd is being asked yet again to play the part of an old man ? The last 3 shows she has played either an old woman, an old man and an evil old man ffs. She is heartbroken tonight and getting annoyed with me as I'm trying to explain to her that it's no reflection on her. Then she tells me that the teacher thinks it suits her best, silly cow. She is a very feminine girly girl so why on earth would they do this? I'm so mad with them as I feel it is psychologically damaging her in the same way giving a boy continuously a female lead would. She is the only one girl playing a male and all of the other parts are very feminine. The play is Grease by the way and there are plenty of boys to play male leads. She felt sure she was going to be a pink lady so you can imagine her shock. She couldn't keep the tears back and the teacher saw her crying but didn't change her part. She may sound like a prima Donna but she really isn't. Do I say something or does it sound overbearing?

OP posts:

MistressChalk · 14/06/2016 20:14

Aren't these some of the best parts for aspiring actors? An evil old man sounds a great opportunity to ham it up and act your socks off. Think of all the 'old man/woman' characters in plays, aren't they usually comedic/villainous/wise? Far better talent needed in portraying these roles well than a bog standard hero or heroine.

andintothefire · 14/06/2016 20:27

I'm going to go against the grain and say that I think it is a bit insensitive to keep casting the OP's daughter in that sort of part. It doesn't sound to me that the OP is complaining about her not having a bigger role but about the fact that her daughter is always cast in a role that is old, unattractive etc. I think it is a bit wrong of the teacher to keep doing that when girls are so sensitive to how they look and how they fit in as a teenager (which I assume she is based on the production of Grease).

I would advise your daughter to talk to the teacher and be honest that she doesn't want to do the role, and would prefer a small chorus or dancing part if possible. Alternatively, maybe she could say that she will do it this time but would really like to do something else next time. The fun of school plays is being part of a team. One of the big problems with being cast in those roles constantly is that it isn't the same camaraderie as being either a lead, part of the chorus, part of a group of friends in the play etc.

andintothefire · 14/06/2016 20:33

And yes the OP was probably a bit OTT to call the teacher a silly cow, but to be honest I understand the reaction of her daughter is in tears, feeling very insecure, and questioning why she keeps being cast in outsider, unattractive roles without any explanation. I would be cross at the insensitivity and apparent lack of common sense too.

chickenowner · 14/06/2016 20:42

Oh FFS!

CuntingDMjournos · 14/06/2016 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaurieMarlow · 14/06/2016 21:21

You're being an idiot OP. Your daughter is probably a great character actress, which is why she's getting these parts.

You don't put the weak actresses in parts like these, the weak actresses get hidden in the back of the pink ladies.

I was exactly the same as your DD. I was always cast as a man, usually in a fat suit with a beard glued to my face. And I'm 5,1 with long blonde hair, so hardly mannish. I moaned occasionally about not getting a pretty dress to wear, but I ultimately I understood that my parts were way more fun.

PonderingProsecco · 14/06/2016 21:33

School plays... Aghhhh.....
My year 6 disappointed in role he has been given in year 6 production and I have gulped back my feelings [which were well, last chance gone and always piddly parts, I understand].
Told him to give role his all and that's life etc, etc. He has other opportunities to shine, in lots of ways. He is 11!!!!
Your daughter's part may be more about her talent mind you rather than being overlooked etc...Big it up!!!

2nds · 14/06/2016 21:37

I think saying on here that the teacher is a silly cow is very harsh.

How many kids are in this play? How many kids didn't get the part they wanted? How many kids got no part at all and would love to play the old man?

Saying the teacher is a silly cow says a lot about you, and I think it's likely that you are making this worse yourself. Why not tell her that acting means taking on roles that are very different to you and is challenging but fun?

If you are a fan of Game of Thrones you might know who Gwendoline Christie is, she's a beautiful actress who plays a female fighting machine Brian need of Tarth, it's not a glamorous role but she's an extremely strong female character and she plays Brianne very well. What about when Hillary Swank played a boy in boys don't cry? That's acting.

2nds · 14/06/2016 21:38

Brianne of Tarth stupid auto correct

2nds · 14/06/2016 21:40

Incidentally I was always a wiseman in my school nativity...

Witchend · 14/06/2016 22:04

Dd1's doing Grease and there isn't an old man in hers

It probably means she's more of a character actress, which is harder to do.
If it's been a play a year then probably different teachers casting, so it's not a deliberate plot. These things are impossible to please everyone.

coughingbean · 15/06/2016 19:19

I played a coat rack once, and a table, at school.
Didn't stop me auditioning for and getting a part in a play, in a fairly well known town a few years later.

stealth boast

altiara · 15/06/2016 19:20

At least she got a part, my DD never does because there are more talented children in her year. I don't call the teacher names, expect her to take parts off other children or go in and request a better part next time. It's definitely not psychologically damaging, it's part of real life, only 1 person can win a race or get the job offer etc and your daughter at least gets a part in the school play every year (instead of doing a dance like mine). if they said every year she was a crap actress and would never get a part, then you'd have cause to complain! Also not sure what the relevance of feminine girly girl is, 'most' girls look feminine and girly unless they take drastic action.

Hulababy · 15/06/2016 19:21

OP doesn't say age but as it is Grease I am assuming secondary - she says third year running - so maybe Y9? Age 13/14?

If so, are the ones with the lead parts likely to be GCSE drama pupils?

Hulababy · 15/06/2016 19:23

School might be doing own version of it, rather than one of the official scripts perhaps? Hence why there is the difference in some cast roles.

grannytomine · 15/06/2016 19:27

Teachers don't play favourites with this sort of thing in my experience of working in schools.

Laughed at this gem. My DD went to a school for 5 years and in those 5 years the lead role in the annual play went to Head teachers son, Chairman of the Governors daughter, School Administrators son, Head teachers other son, Teachers son. No bias there then. Oh and my daughter was understudy to one of them and director of the play asked the child doing the part to watch my daughter at rehearsals as she was so good in the part!

No, never pick favourites in school. Split my sides laughing.

mommybunny · 15/06/2016 19:45

Tell your DD to go in and OWN that role - ham it up to the max. My DS's school is all boys and it's always hilarious when boys inevitably have to take female roles - some of them really get into it and have a lot of fun with the wigs, skirts, stuffed bras etc. Mary in the nativity plays is always a treasure. One play had twins - one of whom had a male role and the other who had a female role. The scene where they start "courting" had the audience in stitches because they played it to the hilt, especially the "girl". The eyelash-batting and tittering were exquisite. Your DD could do a lot with an old man role!

You could even explain to the teacher that this is what you're advising your DD - this year. I don't think it would be unreasonable to say she's going to use this as experience to show and strengthen her range, and hopes that next year she can be considered for more varied roles.

BackforGood · 15/06/2016 19:49

YABVU, ridiculous and immature.

Wait.... are you the dd ?

branofthemist · 15/06/2016 19:52

She couldn't keep the tears back and the teacher saw her crying but didn't change her part.

Did you expect they would? If teachers changed something every time a student cries, they wouldn't get anything done.

You need to get a grip

CodyKing · 15/06/2016 19:54

Teachers don't play favourites with this sort of thing in my experience of working in schools

LOL

I want to pull my DS from the end of year play - he needs to increase his confidence and a speaking part would do him wonders - the loud brash kid on the the hand doesn't need the practice as he's been lead since reception.

DD friend was lead in 6/7 plays - the one year she didn't get the part her mother pulled her out.

Come on teachers - mix it up and suprise us! There are other children with talents you just need to look

Shallishanti · 15/06/2016 19:57

YABU
hard to believe this! do you or your dd understand what acting is?
as for psychologically damaging, let me guess, you think it might damage her femininity to constantly play a male role? God forbid she might even catch the gay

DontFuckingSayIt · 15/06/2016 20:20

I was always the narrator in my school plays they didn't even want me on the stage

mommybunny · 15/06/2016 20:32

YY Cody!

I don't know if it is fair to accuse the teachers of "playing favourites", but I do think they sometimes become over-reliant on "a safe pair of hands" who they know will deliver the goods on the day and, consequently, make them (i.e., the teachers) look good.

On the flip side, imagine what would happen to their reputations if they miscast the play and it all went horribly wrong? Maybe there is just too much invested in making it all so slick and professional?

Nataleejah · 15/06/2016 20:45

Can't she just refuse?

I remember i refused to play a witch at a primary school event. Teacher was shocked. My parents were on my side, because all other children were given "nice" roles - trees, flowers, animals, snowflakes, and i was the only one to play a supposedly "ugly" character? It was certainly nothing to do with acting abilities.
Ever since teacher always asked who wants to play a specific character in upcoming events.

londonmummy1966 · 15/06/2016 21:02

I think you have to suck it up IMO. It is hard to see your dd getting parts she doesn't like but at least she is getting parts. DD1 got distinctions in all her (external) drama exams and is a cathedral chorister (ie she really can sing) but never got a proper part or even a solo in anything because she is quite a quiet child. DD2 never did as well in anything externally assessed but always got huge parts at school as she is loud and owns the limelight - (Mary in the nursery nativity play etc). It got so bad that I actually asked that she not be given a big part in year 3 as I was so embarrassed. Teacher nearly fainted with shock as she had never had a parent ask for a child to be given a little part (but lots of request for a big one...) SO don't tell me that teachers think about this carefully. A few good/conscientious ones might but the majority go for the knee jerk - this will suit so and so - and don't bother to consider what parts children might have had in previous years.

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