To think this was a bit tactless of the teacher

[callherwillow]

The teacher in question referred to friends daughter (Year 4) as 'bonny'. I realise that there are areas of the country where this is just a compliment without any other connotations but here it essentially means 'fat.'

The friends DD was a few minutes late due to helping set up the assembly and upon entering had gone to sit with her friends and was stopped by the teacher who tried to steer her to the year 6s and when she politely explained she was in year 4 the teacher commented (in a whole school assembly where the children could all hear her) 'well, you are a very bonny girl for year 4, aren't you?'

Not the teachers finest hour, I don't think?

Because it makes no sense in any other context, does it? :)

Even if we play Devils advocate and assume that I am wrong, and bonny does not and never has meant fat anywhere in the country ever, 'you're an attractive girl for year 4' is nonsensical, whereas 'you're a big girl for year 4' makes perfect sense in the context and is (honestly) how 'bonny' is used around here.

Anyway, I'll leave it there. Ego as I've said I don't want to be sucked into this,

Anyway, If there's no shame in being fat then why would it be an insult to be called fat. Not that I think teacher meant fat, anyway, whereas bonny='tall' or strapping in context of "I confused you for a yr6 child" makes sense.

Unless the y6 girls in OP's neighbourhood are all reliably & noticeably a lot fatter than yr4 girls. Maybe that is exactly so.

I'm from NI and it defo means fat here. My aunt just recently commented that my daughter was lovely and slim, 'not like you, FBB, you were always a bonny child' (with added arm gestures to suggest I was fat). Luckily I can give as good as I get with this auntie and took no offence (and I was indeed a nice little porker at 3, unlike my little fairy of a daughter).

I don't understand.

You are a teacher. You say that bonny means fat where you are. You are calling the headteacher "tactless" for calling a child bonny.

If all of the above is correct, she is not being tactless. She is being dreadful and should be called on it.

As I've said, it's a 'nice' way of saying plump. I think it was thoughtless, rather than awful, but did make me wince a bit.

Oh well, I guess the proportion of overweight and obese children does gradually increase as they get older, but it would still be an amazing teacher who thought they could estimate a child's age by reference to their obesity.

I think the teacher just meant big and healthy, and probably thought it was nicer than saying 'big' - 'big girl' definitely has 'fat' connotations.

If the child is tall and solid and looks like she could be in Yr 6, then 'bonny' is probably quite a nice description?

Bonny means plump here OP.

Typical way of using the word- (from recent real life examples of shopping with DD at small local uniform shop, which only ever has about 2 dresses in, and lovely relative who always buys clothes as presents that are way too small)-

'Ooo, I think you'll need a bigger size pinafore than we've got here, because you're so bonny!' Or, 'None of the clothes I ever buy for DD ever fit her, but then she is quite a bonny lass.'

Not sure why so many people are unable to grasp that the teacher really could only have meant this too.

Yes, it probably was meant 'nicely', but it's still a bit embarrassing for the girl :) Anyway, I suspect all shall be well!

So I'm guessing the child is overweight if that's what you think the teacher meant, but it doesn't make sense, she must have just meant big. As age isn't usually judged by weight lmao. But she could of phrased it better.

Yes, same Last

Ok, so is your friends child overweight then, OP?

Just for a bit of support, bonny means a chubby baby or a big built person where I come from. If I hear it in a Scottish accent, I assume it means pretty, but in my accent it means, 'you are looking very well, very bonny,' as in a bit overweight.

Well that's 10 minutes of my life I'll never get back........

Jesus wept.

Where my parents grew up bonny does mean a bit plump/ chubby but in a nicer way than just saying "fat". I don't get why posters are getting such bees in their bonnets over their being more than one meaning of of the word.

OrigamiOverload
That's what i was getting at.
If op is convinced that the teacher was calling the child fat, then what is the aibu?
If she called a child fat ofcourse she is wrong.
Wtf Agenda does ego have? I've read all their posts and still can't work it out, except they've disagreed

I fully accept that it means fat where you are op.,But why would she be saying someone was fat for a year 4? Are there no overweight children in year 4? The only interpretation that would make sense would be if she meant tall.

I'm guessing I'm from roughly the same area as you callherwillow - and you're absolutely right - bonny is a less offensive/more polite way of calling someone outright fat.

We would say that a fat person was 'bonny' if we were trying to be sensitive and not overly rude, but still get the point across that the person is overweight.

I'd be horrified if I'd heard a teacher use that word - if she had to comment at all, she should have said 'tall' even if that's not really what she meant.

But then I'm horrified at the way some of my colleagues describe people as well, so you get it everywhere.

And for all the people 'up in arms' about the alternative meaning of the word 'bonny' it happens all over the place with words. Think Gavin and Stacey and the use of the word 'tidy'. I'm darned sure that Nessa doesn't use 'tidy to mean neat and in it's place when she uses it, but maybe's she's wrong too?!

Maybe it's just confusion over the meaning of "big". Big being the definition of bonny fits with your examples, but I often say big when I mean tall, e.g. You'll be going to school with the big boys and girls soon.

I suggest all the teachers on the thread go to work today and shout "oi, fatty!" at someone to see what happens.