Sleeping arrangements

[PrisonercellblockH]

Is it OK for a dad to sleep naked in the same bed as his 6yo DD on contact visits?

Next overnight isn't for 2 weeks so I have time to deal with it.

The people saying 'stop overnights' jeez, have you not been through family court?!

Pack a pair of boxers in her weekend bag with large note attached "for Daddy to wear in bed"

I just get concerned at the lemon sucking when it comes to NR dads. Change one word of the question to 'mum' and you'll find your answer. Is a naked mum sleeping with a 6yo sick or perverted? No. For gods sake some still breastfeed. Everything else insinuated around this issue is simply flaming.

Jesus Christ no. Why is it so hard to put some pants on?!

I think it's not OK even if she was comfortable with it too much can go on and really does she need to see or be near her dads penis?! No

Very inappropriate actually quite alarming

What disturbs me is when people say " we live in a naked house" or ". We are a naked family!" Sorry but the psychological damage could be monstrous!!
How can you truly believe that what your saying is healthy!!

I agree that it is inappropriate just because your DD has said she is uncomfortable with it. No other reason than that.

Just have a quiet word in a non confrontational way saying dd is uncomfortable will you slip some underwear on.

We have quite a naked house, by which I don't mean I am cooking the dinner naked or hoovering the stairs, but more, if I happen to be getting changed my bedroom door is open, the children can enter the bathroom whilst I am in there, I sleep in knickers and wander round getting my teeth brushed etc like that.
I don't see how it is psychologically damaging my children to teach them that our bodies are not something to be ashamed of or hidden away.

She's not comfortable, and she needs to grow up knowing that she has the right to say no to anything she's not comfortable with. Also, if she talks about this at school and says she's uncomfortable with it, it won't be long before social services come knocking.

If a child happened to see their naked dad, there's no problem. However, despite knowing that she is uncomfortable, this man refuses to put on some PJ's. That seems wrong to me.

I don't think 6 is too old to have skin on skin contact or naked cuddles with parents. BUT if the child is in any way uncomfortable with the nakedness or the bed sharing then of course it should not happen, and I would be very concerned if the child's wishes were not respected.

I am quite shocked at the reactions of some people on this thread rhough. The disgust that some people feel at a parent and child being completely innocently naked together! I cannot get my head around it. I remember having naked baths with mum and brothers way past 6 and I only see that as perfectly healthy and normal. I also occassionally saw my dad naked past 6 if he was going from the bedroom to bathroom and I happened to pop out of my bedroom at the same time. I am not emotional scarred or weird. The idea that skin-on-skin should be stopped "as soon as possible" is just staggering and, IMO, rather sad.

What is all this 'skin on skin' business

Bloody hell

We sleep naked - DH all the time, me in summer. DS (18months) often is in with us if he wakes early. Not sure I would be comfortable if he was 6 but it seems ok at the minute- although he is interested in DH's bits, especially if they go in the shower together.

YANBU. All the scuddy nuddies on MN will come and tell you you are, though, that families should sleep nude in a naked pile.

Firstly, we HAVE been through court regarding access to my husbands other children and have a court order. Secondly, I still say stop overnight access immediately due to serious concerns about your daughters welfare.
In order to enforce the court order your ex will have to take you back to court which will give you the opportunity to say why you have taken that action. You will probably find they find in your favour.
Alternatively contact social services so they can investigate. Postpone overnight contact until they have investigated. You won't get in trouble with the courts for that as you have gone through the correct channels.

Stop the overnights.

And I have been through family courts.

If you believe your child is at risk, physically or emotionally, you still have the right to stop the visits.

Tell him it is making her so uncomfortable, it is not appropriate for her to come for any more overnight stays until he has bought a separate bed for her to sleep in. You understand that will upset and annoy him, however, as you're sure he will want her wellbeing as a priority, you're sure he'll sort it out as soon as he can. If he can't arrange it for the next overnight, would he like to see her on the Saturday or Sunday?

And call duty SS to log it tomorrow, in case he kicks off.

"Families should sleep nude in a naked pile" weeping with laughter here.

Also grimacing at 'skin on skin' for a 6 year old. I have only ever heard this used (sensibly) within minutes of giving birth! Why does everything need a label - we all snuggle our children's gorgeous skin all the time - does not need adult genitals flopping about the place. Nothing to do with being ashamed of nudity - but give the poor child the chance to decide if she wants them in bed with her.

It's inappropriate because it bothers her and everyone is entitled to body autonomy. If she didn't feel like that then it wouldn't be.

We sleep in the nude and sometimes the DC come into bed with us. If it bothered them, they wouldn't. Their choice. I don't think our nudity in our bedroom is sick or wrong or massively inappropriate, as some posters seem to be implying. Nudity is a natural state, it isn't and shouldn't be a big deal. Inappropriate physical contact would be a completely different kettle of fish.

However this is absolute rubbish- I told him that as a non-resident parent he couldn't be around her naked, the nature of the relationship has changed. A non resident parent is still a parent - how insulting to the 1000's of oarents (mums and dads) who are doing a great non resident parenting job'
Not at all. The residence issue makes a difference. See the theory of housing unrelated children together in dorms in Kibbutz, and cases of sexual attraction between blood relatives who have been separated for some time. Non-residence means boundaries have to be clearly defined. Most people understand that without having to think about it. The OP's ex does not.

The court isn't going to make her go there if she's unhappy about being made to sleep in the same bed with her naked father. Put your DD first.

He doesn't need to be sharing a bed with her at all; even if he can't afford or doesn't have space for another bed, he can pop down to Argos and get a camp bed, and one of them can sleep on that when she goes over.

You could maybe get her one of those kiddy sleeping bags with a build in pillow to take when she goes, so she has her own special sleepover bedding?

I think you're the best judge of whether it is something to stop visits over - it sounds like you don't think he has any wrong intent, and if your DD wants to see her dad otherwise, this would remove the issue without a row. It's all about what is best for her isn't it.

I referenced it as a concern in court. They didn't stop overnights.

I don't have any concerns about intent but I do intend to spell out very clearly prior to her next overnight why it's inappropriate. After that it's children's services.

Sally, she does have one of those beds but doesn't use it.