Sleeping arrangements

[PrisonercellblockH]

Is it OK for a dad to sleep naked in the same bed as his 6yo DD on contact visits?

I would say in an ideal world there shouldn't be an issue as its only skin but if the daughter says she doesn't like to see his bottom then he needs to cover his bottom up

Read this article yesterday; www.facebook.com/Netmums/posts/10154343209638010

Basically it's not OK the moment it's not ok with the child.

It doesn't really matter if anyone else thinks it's fine in their family etc, your DD has told you she's uncomfortable and unhappy and that's it. It needs dealing with.

This is how I feel.

I've raised it before, but it continues. I can't stop overnight contact as it's court ordered, but I have a meeting with Children's Services so I will raise it with them.

She feels uncomfortable with it.

So it shouldn't continue.

I agree that it's not ok principally because child is not ok with it.

Also probably not ok anyway - I think because 1. She doesn't have her own bed, so not a case of her coming into bed where he happens to be naked and 2. For his own protection against accusations, whereas if another parent was there there would be someone to say it was just a case of sleeping.

Also you say she is incredibly aware of nakedness for a child of her age. This set off a bit of a warning bell about the situation, although could just be she is uncomfortable with his general nakedness.

The issue is that the DD doesn't like it.

However this is absolute rubbish-

' I told him that as a non-resident parent he couldn't be around her naked, the nature of the relationship has changed'

A non resident parent is still a parent - how insulting to the 1000's of oarents (mums and dads) who are doing a great non resident parenting job.

I agree Hello, residency shouldn't make a difference.

I don't think it's anything more than inappropriate, her nakedness issues stem more from my panic whenever she tried to open a public toilet door when I was mid-per or when she tried to pull my top up in public when she was younger. Would have handled it differently in hindsight!

I'm surprised by above responses. Dh sleeps naked in summer when it's hot so if either of our girls (7&5) join us (nightmares/woke up early etc) then we all sleep together naked. Never thought anything of it, in fact love a bit of skin to skin.

I'm sorry but that's absolutely disgusting and also extremely disturbing.

To the OP: No, not normal, and I'd stop the visits.

Whenever these breads come up, it seems that most of mumsnet is naked all the time with their naked children and they all sleep together in a big naked pile, and anyone who doesn't is a prude or has issues.

Back in the real world - it's odd. And particularly inappropriate because of the fact the child has felt uncomfortable enough to express that she doesn't like it.

Definitely a battle to pick here OP.

*threads

I don't think it's disgusting at all user1234. My children are still completely innocent, as they should be at their ages. We're a naked family, not particularly unusual.

Op - your second post where you wrote she doesn't like it, changes the situation completely. Utterly unacceptable if she's uncomfortable.

"We're a naked family" - and yet somehow you seem proud of that? I'm sorry, I find it revolting. There's no need to be having "skin on skin contact" with your children, especially if you're all naked. Revolting.

Er NO what the hell? Why would he?

I agree "skin on skin" contact and naked cuddles with children is revolting. Please report this to children's services. Can I also just point out an unpalatable truth- men get erections during sleep, involuntary elections.

To me a man choosing to sleep completely naked in the same bed as his six year old daughter is a safeguarding issue and a huge red flag and I'd be stopping contact until he got her a bed of her own PLUS having a serious chat with him about why the hell he thought it was OK? Are you sure it's innocent?

She's already told you she doesn't like it. Don't expose her to this sickening nonsense even one more time.

I'm intrigued by the 'disgusting' responses to the skin on skin contact between parent and child. It's encouraged at the hospitals with babies. At what age do you think it should stop? I would think it depends on the child.

Our son who is 4 will, albeit very rarely, slip into our bed late at night. It is very hot where we live, and my DH sleeps naked. He keeps a pair of shorts/pants next to the side of the bed in case he needs to get up in a hurry e.g. if DS wakes up or whatever. He will sleepily put these on when DS sneaks in. Have never really thought about it until this thread, I am not sure whether he does this because he feels it is appropriate or because he is scared munchkin will kick him in the gonads... We don't have a daughter but I can say there is no way he would sleep naked with a six year old girl present in the bed.

I don't ever remember seeing my own dad naked, literally ever - and we are a very close family...just not naked-close.

If your daughter is uncomfortable, sleeping arrangements need to change ASAP.

When do I think it should stop? As soon as possible. It's completely unnecessary and certainly not appropriate for a seven year old to be having "naked cuddles" with his/her parents.

Contact while feeding is a different thing. Doing it because you like naked cuddles is something I find extremely disturbing. Reserve that for your partner.

She doesn't like it so it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or what is normal for other people.

She has no choice but to sleep in his bed which is bad enough, but if she is unhappy about him being naked then he should put pants on til he can get her a bed of her own.

No problems with him sharing a bed, naked us not my thing but not huge issue with it. I do have a problem with her not liking him being naked or having a bed of her own

We all walked round naked until the kids became self conscious but would never have done the naked in bed bit after babyhood.

No, it's not appropriate and it's making your daughter uncomfortable.

If a child is happy with skin on skin contact, that is fine. If a child is happy with naked parents, that is fine.

The moment the child is not happy with either, it is the responsibility of the parent to modify their behaviour.

I want DD to love her body and I don't think this wish is conducive to describing skin on skin contact as "disgusting" and "disturbing". Neither would covering my body have been the moment I stopped breast feeding. DD is outspoken enough to make her feelings known. I may be very embarrassed of my body but I don't want to pass that to the next generation. Dh and I are doing what is right for the three of us as a family.

she doesn't like it. that is the issue here.

so he stops. end of

watch this No More Kisses for Bernard

around 2.25 --2.30 when someone says no they mean know aunt loulou, said aunt talulah. children need to be respected.

when someone says no they mean no