How do you feel about your third child?

[SauvignonZonk]

Did they complete your family or send it into chaos?!

Also I'm 36 (almost) 37 and dh is 42, honestly and no need to be pc would you raise an eyebrow at our ages?

I just see our house with 3 dc and I know for sure I'll be done then!

Dh not opposed but life is very easy at the minute.

Dc 1 and 3 if that's relevant!

I am besotted with ds3.
He will be my last. He has to be, as we cannot afford any more and more importantly, dh doesn't want another. I thought I didn't either but have recently had to accept that I would love to be able to have more.
He did cause a bit of chaos, he was a big surprise at a very inconvenient time in our lives and at first dh didn't want me to continue the pregnancy. But I wanted hin from the first second and he is so so worth it.

Dc3 is my little miss independent. She is now 8. The most individual child, happy, at ease with herself child I have ever met.

When she came totally unplanned dd1 and dd2 were 5 and 2. Dd2 was so laid back, that dd3 came as a complete shock to us and completely and utterly hard work. I now have four children, and child number 3 is so complete. So wise, self assured and socially astute. Definetely a lot to be said for being the 3rd one down!

I would am so happy now we had child number 3 and number 4 but definately child number 3. From the complete hard work of having 3 under 5 to then 4 under 8 was incredibly hard at the time. So worth it now.

You will love it and never regret it.

Our dc3 was a bit of a shock. Apparently an unplanned 3rd is very common! I was 37 and the pregnancy was a lot harder as a result. Also took me longer to recover from the birth but oh what a delight he is and of course I wouldn't be without him. My first ds as well.

My 3rd is a total loon. I thought that having my 3rd boy would be so easy and that I knew all there was to know about little boys.

Yeah, right! He's a complete whirlwind with a much wilder personality than the other two. He's utterly hilariously and so funny. His brothers adore him and he's the common denominator between the two of them as he like both their passions and so plays with both of them whereas they'd just fight to the death . They're 3, 6 & 9 at the moment and I find that they're growing up so quickly.

It has been harder in terms of childcare, juggling everything and making sure that they all have enough attention etc but I knew I wasn't finished at 3. He was always waiting in the wings. He's lovely bloody finished now, mind

(Oh and I was 37 when I had him. Planned, easy home water birth)

tilder can I ask exactly how the others benefited? I ask because a massive part of the reason I worry about trying for number three, is the impact on the eldest two and that they may miss out on even more attention etc did you not find that to be the case?

Honestly if have another baby if we had room. DS3 is a terribly cheeky little tearaway, but I had that overwhelming broodiness when my twins were two. He was born three months before they turned three.

If the twins had been a singleton, I would have stopped at the second pregnancy and (presumably) baby. We already had DSS and to be honest four kids is so much harder logistically.

Mine are 11, 8 (9 soonish) and 8 months. So big gap between 2 and 3.

I had a succession of mcs before her and thought I wanted her but th pregnancy terrified me. I considered termination early on and was convinced right up until I went in for induction that I had made a dreadful mistake. I've had hideous PN anxiety and a touch of D. But my goodness I love her. Dh loves her (would have been fine stopping at 2 and would have supported me in a termination but wanted her once she was on the way). Her older brothers adore her. Even the cats love her

We do stuff all together with her in the sling, or dh (sometimes me) does stuff with just the boys. We'll need to move eventually but we would anyway. Childcare costs are reasonable over here - we're lucky. She's slotted into our lives really quite nicely. :)

I had No3 when I was 34 and DH was 35. No1 and No2 were 4 and 2 respectively. No3 is easily my most difficult child, very hard work, demanding and emotionally more needy than any of my others. He is certainly an interesting child though. I went on to have No4 at 36 so can´t have been put off that badly

Absolute chaos and an absolute joy. He is my most wilful and determined child but wonderful and we all love him.

I love having three, and he's definitely completed my family. Was 35 when I had him.

Going from one child to three was the hardest transition for me. It did change things a lot.

Going from three to four, and four to five didn't make such a difference to our lifestyle strangely enough.

He's an absolute delight and has completed our family. I always wanted three and he was worth the hellish pregnancy. I absolutely knew I was done when he arrived.

Life with three is complete chaos and nothing has been the same since he arrived, I really underestimated the difference between having two children and three, it was so easy going from one to two! He has a sunny, happy personality even at just turned one, everyone dotes on him and my daughter (the middle one) especially has benefited from being a big sister. I had three in just over five years and the past year has been really tough for me but it's so much easier now he sleeps through.

He is lovely, really chilled out and quite the peace maker if the older two have a disagreement. He was so lovely that we decided to have another. As said up thread the logistics of 4 is hard, I found 3 very do-able by comparison.

No one would bat an eye lid at your age where we live, most first time mothers are in their 30's and quite a few early 40's.

Just to add, I was 38 when he was born. DH was 35. I've found each pregnancy harder as I've got older but that may be the running around after older children during it. I was horrifically sick and had terrible SPD which still hasn't cleared up, all worth it though.

Downunder I'm not tilda but I can tell you that I think my lot have benefitted in that there's more often someone to play with and they like the "pack element." I was actually talking to my (quite sensitive, astute) 9 year old today about it and asking what he thought about being the eldest of 3. He said that he thinks the youngest is a real mix of him and the middle boy which is good as he plays with both of them. He also likes having the emotional security of having 2 brothers. He's quite a paternal type of child and does help to look after the 3 year old - reading stories, pushing on swings etc. I think that having the third really helped developed this in him.

There is still plenty of squabbling. It's defo not The Waltons but I do think my lot benefit from being a trio.

Hope that helps

Oh and he's a little sod! He is very charming, very popular and completely unlike my others. He is the only child that I get phone calls from the school about his bad behaviour. I think he spends half his life in trouble from the school and with me. He is impulsive, doesn't think things through, cares more about his reputation right now then getting on with school work.

I guess I had to have one who throws me through a loop and gives me situations to deal with that makes me feel like a brand new mum.

His naughtiness is mainly silliness, he isn't mean or horrible to people but he's still a pain in the arse. He is also kind hearted and quite sweet at times.

Glad I had him though ;)

After dc3 I felt I needed dc4. I'm sure there was chaos but don't remember it now... Just remember the funny/ nice things (and watching midsommer murders in the maternity ward!)
As for age... Where do you live? At 37 for dc3 I am a very averagely aged mummy... And not many have older siblings.
Although I am second oldest in dc4 class (40 when she was born!)
Doesn't matter anyway, there's always hair dye!

than*

I had this dilema for 2 years and we finally decided to go for it. I had my third child 3 months ago.

She is my first daughter and I am totally in love with her.

My sons are 4 and 6.

I am 36 and also worried slightly about pregnancy risks.

Yes new level of chaos but baby just has to fit in with older siblings' timetables. I stop her kid breastfeed quite frequently to sort boys out for one reason or another.

Do have to count to 10 quite frequently in the evenings when trying to get boys bathed and to bed and 6 year old's reading done. But as boys are 4 and 6 they can do a significant amount for themselves.

In the end I balanced up if I would regret having 3rd more than not having 3rd and the latter won!

Good luck with your decision. I don't regret her for a second-even on worst days. Just don't get a puppy at the same time-whoops!!

"Mid" not "kid"

The age thing depends on your circle of friends/family and the local area - I get raised eyebrows having 6 and 4 year olds at 33 (or being perceived as younger due to my baby face), late 30s and early 40s is more typical at the kids' school.

I want to be done at 2 but realise I have time to change my mind and hope I don't. Although having a bigger gap would be more appealing than having three in close proximity. It does feel sad that the kids are getting older, my four year old is still my baby but not for much longer. However the housing issue may prevent any broodiness turning into planning a baby.

I was 37 when I had dc3, and she is wonderful, just as my other 2 are.

Yes, it was hard work, chaos at times - but I'd never go back. Three dc is special, lovely.

3 here and looking at it from the other end as it were - kids 23/20/17.

Bloody lovely having her here at home still for a bit longer no the others are at uni.

Remember no 3 could be no 3&4 ...

Pretty much any " family deal" doesn't work. Holidays are more expensive, ditto cars etc etc.

Definitely recommend a longer gap ( I know the op probably can't wait given age ) but 2.5yrs between the older 2 and 3.5 the younger was so much better. Also 3 school years each time was a genius in retrospect - cure a load of the competition and sibling association crap out. Do not end up with gaps so you have A2 AS and GCSE. Together as a mate did - madness!

What has never been an issue - many of the cliches re 3:
No one gets left out in play - there are more combinations to get on at different times. Also a child can play alone if they want on the whole as the others pair up. Less " constant adult entertainment " or maybe that's my " bored ? Deal with it or I'll find you a job to do " attitude !
With a 6yrs from eldest to youngest we never tailored outings for an age group , we always found something that fitted - I guess that meant dd2 did stuff that might be " old for her age " but that suited her personality I think anyway. She just always was running to keep up / beat the others in every way except actual running as she was a late walker :) ( egfr she road a bike before eldest could - that was well tricky but about the only thing I recall really that was!)

It's really hard to explain how they benefit. I guess they are a team. A group. There seems to be more cohesion in the chaos than in families with two (or mine when there were two).

I guess I just see the love they have for him. Ds1 and dd are close but ds2 is the glue that holds them together. If that makes sense?

First was spawn of Satan...never ever ever ever slept and was diagnosed with aspergers /ADHD by 4.
Second was born 13 weeks early at 1lb 9 and has had a struggle these last 11 years,but is getting on great
Third! A god send, the loveliest smiliest happiest baby ever and still is today at 10.
Fourth..is 4 and hilarious . A complete character . Makes me smile
Fifth Was three last week and driving me beyond insane, far too intelligent ,stubborn and the tantrums? Wow .Dear god he's hard work . I could CRY with how hard he is most days.
Sixth is 8 months and the most awesome baby, sleeps through, wakes up smiling goes to sleep smiling .
All babies are different ..I have same dad,same house! Same rourine.
It's the Luck of the draw!