To not have sister to stay during DD's first week at nursery?

[LadyAntonella]

My sister is at university and is sitting her last exam (of the year) in June. Dsis asked ages ago if she could come to stay with DH, DD and me for a few days after her exams finish which was (and is) fine with us. We are going on a short holiday starting one week after Dsis's last exam (this was booked long ago, before Dsis asked to come to stay; Dsis was aware of it) and DD (18mo) is due to start nursery the week after we get back.

I have told Dsis she can either come in the week immediately after her exam (before we go on holiday) or else after DD's first week at nursery. DSis is a bit miffed and said I am "making her wait too long". She doesn't want to stay with us immediately after her exam as she wants to spend that time with her bf. This is fair enough obviously, and I don't mind, but just think DD might find someone coming to stay a bit disruptive during her first week at nursery... Am I being massively precious? DD is my PFB so expect I might be! She does know my Dsis obviously but they haven't seen each other in person for a while.

TIA

Yabu!

to have her* here

Ugh bold fail!

"To have her here"

I think that it's entirely up to you tbh.

She said no to your first offer, there's no reason why she can't wait until the next time that you would prefer.

It probably wouldn't disrupt your daughter, but if you'd rather not, then that's fine imo.

There's no urgent reason that it has to be that week for your sister.

No there is definitely no urgent reason for it to be that week. She will be staying at uni over the summer so won't be getting in the way of her travelling anywhere else if she comes the following week. Maybe I'll invite her and bf down together in the week immediately after exam...

But, thanks to this thread, if she says no to her and be coming here together after exams and really wants to come the week DD starts nursery then I'll not insist she doesn't.

Did that sound sarky? I really did mean thanks to this thread; thank you for helping. I am being overly anxious about the whole thing.

I'm breaking a rule here: have some hugs.

It will be fine.

Haha aw hugs?! I'm so touched you broke the rules for me there MrsTP!

It will be fine I know. Thank you.

You may be a tad pub about it clashing with the week DD starts nursery.

However yiur Dsis wants free room and board and entertainment for a week. I don't see why she's being so particular about it being a week you aren't comfortable with. Is she always like this?

2 days a week and she's 18 months?
YABU, very, IMO

I'll go against the flow. I don't think you're unreasonable at all. I don't ever want visitors the first or last week of term; I earmark that child free space to sort the house and sort my own head. Week after I'm delighted to host anyone, but I need that thinking/sitting/being time to myself.

YABU sorry. I'm not exactly sure what you're concerned will be the problem? Is it you think your dsis is muscling in on a family first or that your dd will want to stay at home and play with her aunt or what? I'm confused but either way, it will all be fine.

Honestly I agree with you. I couldn't be doing with the histrionics about wanting to stay with auntie instead of nursery when I was trying to get them fed and out the door. At least the week after you will be in some kind of routine.

Thanks all.

Gosh, I don't think you're being unreasonable at all.

A full day away from mum for the first time in your life will probably be a tiring and in all honesty not entirely pleasant experience for an 18 month old.

Keep everything else normal that week, you'll all be less tired for it.

Presumably she'll have done some settling in sessions by then too, so it might not be quite such a big deal, that first week.

I surprised that OP is getting so many YABU tbh.

Perhaps you didn't word it quite right

Her sister doesn't have to come that week, can just as easily come another, which Op would prefer.

Perfectly reasonable I would say.

Do whatever you feel comfortable with. If you feel happier with your sister coming another week that's your perogative.