To not take my daughter?

[PirateFairy45]

Ok, my grandpa passed away 8 days ago and today is the first day we can visit in the funeral directors place.

My daughter is 3.5 years old and I am very conflicted. I'm unsure if I should take her to see him.

I want to do the right thing but my gut tells me I shouldn't but my brain is telling me I should do.

If I'm going, I'll be going at 10am so need advice ASAP.

What would you do?

[Savagebeauty]

I wouldn't.
But then I wouldn't go and view an open casket myself. Certainly never went to see my mum and I was 22.

[PirateFairy45]

I just think she's struggling ATM. To comprehend it all.

My family dog which was her ' best friend' died later last year, My FIL died a few weeks ago and now my grandpa died last week. That's 1 beloved animal and 2 grandpa's she's lost in the last 6 months.

Not sure who said it about 'why would you even go to a funeral home' but is it a custom in many cultures

I've literally lost count of the funerals I've attended (family members, friends and service users (I work in care)). But my daughter won't be attending my grandpas funeral. The first half will be in a church and then we will go to the graveside. It's not suitable for a child, especially graveside.

Just struggling to cope with the loss ATM. Breaking down a lot, my memory is hazy and my temper is extremely short.

[PirateFairy45]

So in short. I'm not taking her.

My parents have been today and my father has told me, that he doesn't look like my grandpa, so if I go, prepare myself for a shock.

[JeanGenie23]

Hello just want to offer my condolences

Many years ago my nan died and my dad went to see her. He said it was his biggest regret because for a while that was the only image he had of her in his head. Then when my dad died a couple of years ago I was conflicted because I wanted to see him again, but I couldn't shake what he had told me about regretting it. So I didn't go. And I am glad I didn't. Truthfully I wanted to see him again because I hadn't got my fill of him, but I didn't want to be upset by his appearance. It's much better to look back fondly!

[PirateFairy45]

The last time I saw him was a few minutes after he'd passed away. That was incredibly difficult xx