AIBU to have sacked my hair and makeup lady for my wedding?

[coralpig]

I'm getting married in 2 months time and today has my hair and makeup trial. I had read lots of reviews and decided to go with this lady.

As background: I am North African with dark skin. Not quite black but could definitely be mistaken for African Caribbean. My hair is very very curly and frizzy but straightens without too much hassle. I've avoided lots of heat over the last few years which has helped it's condition.

The trial was at my parents home which is local to where I'll be getting married.

The lady was very nice and professional, she has a very slick website and has been shortlisted for wedding industry awards. I felt I was in safe hands.

As the trial progressed (3 hours) it became clear she wasn't accustomed to dealing with my hair type or complexion. My up do which I had requested wasn't great and quite frizzy with a very 90s style. I'm generally quite assertive so pointed out what I liked and didn't but the overall look wasn't great. She assured me it would look different on the day with spray and wax.

The makeup is where things started to go wrong. I couldn't see what she was doing as I was sat away from the mirror for most of the trial. I explained that I wanted a natural look- not too much makeup just something that would look nice. I don't wear lot of makeup.

She finished and asked me to have a look.
When I looked in the mirror I was shocked- she had made me look almost white, a fair few shades lighter than my complexion with a very cakey looked. The eye shadow was applied beautifully but the colours and quantity were all wrong - I didn't look like myself.

I said that it was too light and could we go closer to my natural skin tone.

Second time round was slightly better but so so heavy and still too white. It was clear she didn't know what to do with my skin tone.

My mum didn't like it either. I politely said I just didn't like it sorry. I asked her how much I could pay her for her time and paid this immediately - it was almost £100.

I said I didn't want to mess her around so I'd be looking for somebody with more experience with dark skinned women. She said that in her many years of experience this had never happened before and she just left. She was clearly very upset.

I've sent photos to my bridesmaids and they are shocked that she is a pro.

I feel very guilty as it's nearly the summer season and this has been in her diary for a long time. Was I unreasonable?

so I would absolutely want someone that actually knows what they are doing to do my hair and make-up for my wedding

But the lesson the OP has found out is make sure they really do know what they are doing. I have had people at the counter at shops do it cluelessly too - literally painted on. English makeup can be very overdone and obvious compared to the French.

But the lesson the OP has found out is make sure they really do know what they are doing.

Indeed. But thats what trials are for, in part. And with hair and skin tone that are both harder to deal with for most UK trained beauticians/hairdressers as training is based on Caucasian hair and skin, it's even more important to get a person suited to the task.

Although I'm not sure why French make up has anything to do with it...

Anyway, the op is not unreasonable. My post was to someone that thought it was odd that people would pay others to do hair and make-up.

YANBU, well done for standing your ground x

YANBU at all. You give her honest feedback and paid her. As someone else said it was an audition and she didn't get the job. I am sure you will find someone else, who will do a brilliant job for your big day.
. It is nice to get professionals to do hair and makeup. When I got married it was on a Sunday which was very unusual then, but hairdresser opened up for us and my mate did my makeup, as she had a steadier pair of hands.
Have a lovely day!

Not unreasonable that's why you have a trial. There's no way after an unsatisfactory trial is go ahead and book her for my wedding. You paid her for her services so you've done nothing wrong.

Hi my hubby is Moroccan and I have noticed when I go to family weddings the brides are caked in white powdery makeup that is a totally different colour to their neck. It seems to be the look they go for.
Did you hire someone that does North African weddings because this might be what she thought you wanted.
I do still think that you are not being unreasonable though.

YANBU at all. That's what trials are for ! I'm surprised she got upset. Hope you find someone who has more experience with your skin/hair type.

You made a good decision and perhaps this will push the MUA to go and educate herself further about varying hair and skin types.

As a side note, make up for your wedding will need to be a little heavier than you would normally wear due to it being photographed. We had this discussion at my sisters wedding where the foundation was heavier than we were used to etc and she was right. At 9am it def looked like too much but at the end of the day and in photos it was perfect.

The main thing though, is that you're comfortable with who does it and the end result.

Why don't you do your own hair and make up? Do people really pay for somebody to do these things for them? Seems very strange to me!

What a ridiculous thing to say. I technically could have looked at making my own dress. I do buys and bobs now.

Dh is a chef, he could have cooked for fifty people, but we had a sit down meal instead.

Personally I didn't want to spend the morning of my wedding trying to get my hair right. I don't put it up or do anything with it, very often. Why would I spend ages doing it and stressing it wasn't going how I wanted it. Easier to pay someone who knows what they are doing. Same with make up. My everyday normal make up, is fine for everyday. But it needs to look good on photos too. I have no idea what I am doing in regards to that.

YANBU.
It was a trial - you didn't like what she did in two attempts, you said "thanks, but no thanks" and paid her for her time. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.
I had a make up trial before my wedding, and the woman who did it was let's say "liberal" with her own war paint and tan, but I thought, as a professional, she would use make up that compliments her client. She didn't. She did my make up almost exactly how she had her own make up, ie. Trowelled on, and about for skin tones too dark I'm really really pale (think vampire) and I genuinely looked like an Oompa Loompa when she was finished
I ended up buying some professional quality products and doing my own make up - I looked like me at least!

I am mixed race and have curly hair. I struggle with finding good hairdressers - they all say they can cut curly hair, but they cut it too long or too short and it never looks as good as it could.

Thanks for the reassurance. I was squeezed in for another trial today with someone else and it was so so much better. She listened to me, wasn't pushy and really took her time. I was delighted.

Great news coralpig.

Hurray! Happy wedding

Yadnbu

You paid for her time, and told her straight away after the trial not waited til the last minute

You're absolutely right to want to look your best on your wedding day! And if she clearly isn't used to your complexion and hair type then no matter how good she might be for someone else, she's not for you

Yanbu especially about her making you look white, wtf?! I even take my mixed race 3yo to the black hairdresser for hair care advice, let alone something as important as a wedding day - you need someone who knows what they're talking about.

Great news, coral. Vindication!

Not U. Youd didn't like it and paid ofr her time. No drama.

Some people think that an Instagram account and a couple of make up brushes is all they need to set themselves up as a make up artist. Some don't bother to learn colour theory, bone structure and nuances between skin shades.

It sounds like she was trying to contour and highlight your face and went too far with the lighter shade of foundation. When I do make up on someone with very dark skin (Alex Wek dark), I use 3 shades, one 2 shades lighter, one 1 shade darker and one to match the neck. The light one goes on the high points of the cheek bones, down the nose, on the forehead and a tiny bit on the chin. The darkest goes in the hollows of the cheekbones, around the perimeter of the forehead. The one that matches blends everything together. This is not for every day looks, this is purely for events with photography because an event photographer cannot set up lights everywhere to make sure there's enough light like a studio tog can. The illumination that accentuates the facial features and structure has to be done by the artist.

And yes, there are plenty of photographers out there who don't know or care to meter for people with dark skins so the dress ends up being the entire focus of the photos.

I am crap with my hair so got a hairdresser to do that but I did my own make up on my wedding day. I had a trial with someone who put it on so heavily that i could sink a finger into the layer and cleverly managed to turn my eyelashes into about 5 clumps each ending in a blob! I knew what I wanted - much easier to do it myself!

Sounds like you were perfectly reasonable - paid her for her time and was honest about what you wanted. Don't sweat it.

YANBU.

I refused to pay my make up lady after my so called trial. We had ructions before she left, me trying to be diplomatic at first, her demanding her money and me ending up telling her to fuck off when she had exhausted my patience.

She had a very flashy website, brilliant patter. Turned up with a massive suitcase of stuff, clearly very organised.

The trial was supposed to cost £40, and be the same make up I would have on the day. She took fourteen minutes (my mum timed it) and pronounced me done. It was awful - she used a blob of foundation no bigger than a 5p piece. It wasn't enough to even cover half of my face and she stopped at my chin. My eyeliner looked like my dh had had a bash at it and been none too successful. Seriously, uneven, wobbly. My sister had to leave the room to calm down (from trying to control her laughter!).

YADNBU op. I think you were very reasonable to pay her tbh. IMO a paid trial is to test out looks from an experienced make up artist..colours, eyeliner styles and all the rest. But NOT to 'test' if they're competent iyswim. If the person who turns up turns out to be clearly not trained/experienced/competent, over my dead body would I pay them at all tbh.

My friend who used to be a make up artist did my wedding makeup. She put so much eyeliner on I had to run to the loo with a wetwipe. I was getting married not going to a night club!

I found buying my own makeup was great idea. I got perfectly matching foundation and could keep it afterwards. I went to the Chanel counter and tried everything on there.