to get annoyed by teacher

[PlonkerFace]

My 2 stepdaughters have moved in with me, DP and our 2 DS. They moved here 3 months ago and also moved schools to one nearer us. Youngest stepdaughters teacher is getting on my nerves. Every time she comes home from school the teacher has changed her hairstyle, at least 5 times I've sent her to school with ponytail/pigtails and she comes home with a plait instead and says "Miss did it". Also, she is a really picky eater and we are finding mealtimes really difficult at the moment, one thing she will eat is ham sandwiches so she has packed lunch for school. For the last week she's come home and said that she hasn't been eating any of her ham, "Miss" has been taking it out of the bread for her and throwing it away and she puts crisps inside instead. Why does she feel the need to do these things?! AIBU to let it get to me?

Just go and have a quick chat with the teacher to get the facts, or send an email.

How hard can it be?

You'll probably find her new best friend at school is called Mist or something.

On the ham thing, is the teacher Muslim? My sons teacher banned Pork products in the classroom.

Course she did.

That is bollocks Maryjo

Your sons teacher banned pork. Course she did, love. I look forward to seeing the sadfacing in the daily mail any day now.

OP, crisps in lunch mean she's getting them from somewhere - another child or is it some sort of reward scheme? I can't see a teacher just giving a particular child a packet of crisps for no reason every day. Apart from anything else the complaining from the rest would do her head in!
Of course maybe she is just doing it, which is very strange. But why would a teacher buy one child crisps every day? Makes no sense.

Maybe your stepdaughter was worried she would be in trouble when you found leftover crisps in her lunchbox, and decided that saying that a teacher had given them to her was the best excuse, and most likely to prevent her getting told off?

I think that it is almost impossible that her version of the story is true.

As for the hair, I'm often asked by little girls to redo plaits and bunches that have come undone. I have never had a parent complain about it!

Sounds like she's swapping food with other kids. By all means go and ask whether they have noticed her eating her lunch but don't assume a teacher us facilitating this. It wouldn't be a teacher supervising anyway, more likely a lunch supervisor. As to hair, I'm not sure how likely it is that they play hair in class, could it be an older child instead? Or maybe you're not as adept as you think and she complains that it falls out or is uncomfortable. Again , ask about it , don't accuse.

OP you can't possibly believe this?

What has happened to mum? is there a possibility she is trying to get teacher to do her hair the way she likes it? Have you discussed with her how she might like her hair doing? She might just be looking for some reassurance and getting teacher yo do her hair somehow provides that? I guess it might depend how big of an upheaval she has had?

Hang on a second OP. You first said that you were annoyed that you thought DSD had been eating her sandwiches until you 'found out' from her what was happening THEN you later state that the crisps have been in her recycling bag as all food is returned to you. Something doesn't quite ring true...

All leftover food Kitty. I am guessing the crust of the sandwich if my toddler's preferences are anything to go by.

I was a ta for many years and often the girls hair in class would come loose or bobbles would fall out so I'd quickly plait it for them. No big issue, just keep their hair out of their eyes. As for removing the ham from butties, well at least your dsd is getting a crisp butty she'll eat rather than a ham butty she won't.

Kitty what doesn't ring true? Crisp crusts?

OP your stepdaughter is only 5 - she is so young. There have been so many changes in her life recently. Could you try to be in touch with the teacher everyday or at least a few times a week? I wouldn't worry about the hair, would ask about the lunch but first I would ask everyday or almost everyday how is she doing.

I know much older children and adults who didn't cope very well with their parents splitting up and they didn't even have to move their family home.

I don't think that anyone at school would do anything to undermine your position, not all but most of the time people try to help and have no bad intentions.

I think its lovely that the teacher or ta do her hair, children love having theyre hair done by staff and they also like to take a turn at doing the staffs hair, you would not belive how much enjoyment they get out of it. also for the ham thing if your daughter has not been eating her sandwhiches at school at least taking the ham out and putting the crisps in your daughter is getting something, i reckon your daughter has probably told them she doesnt like ham. i think your being ru.

Well she might be getting crisps from her friend but your reaction is such that she has said it was the teacher.
5 year olds do lie! My four year old lies

The hair thing - well maybe the teacher plaited it as was falling out. Plaits are better for nit prevention anyway.

This is all a bit meh who cares!

How many times did the crisp thing happen?

It wouldn't bother me. Likely her bobble has come out and the teacher/ta has asked her how she would like it. And I would assume your child was refusing to eat the sandwich because she didn't want the ham and the teacher suggested she eat the bread. The alternative would be her taking your daughters ham for no reason which would be a bit far fetched.

I'd put money on she's undoing her hair then asking for it up again or the ta / teacher is spotting it down and they like it up to stop nits spreading.
I work in ls 1 and the girls regularly fiddle theirs loose then ask us to put it up again and I find a plait often the easiest option!

I often have to re-do girls hair, because they will not leave their alone!
However, I can't always re-do the elaborate style the came with, but I'm good at straightforward plants, so quite often change it to that!

As for the ham sandwiches...children often say they don't like their sandwiches, but that mum keeps on putting them in their lunch! However, we would insist they try to eat some. It is for this reason we send home half eaten lunches, rather than throwing it away, so the parents can see what has / has not been eaten....and then we get complaints about that! ( Or snarky notes in the lunch box!). Whatever we do, usually with the best intentions, someone will complain...

I don't send my 6yr old Daughter to school with the hairstyle I want her to have. She goes with the hairstyle she wants to have. Ive always encouraged my dc to be a little Independent.

sometimes her hair falls out. She will put it up herslef and is getting better at doing this. If she couldnt do it i would expect an adult at school to help her, as hair needs to be up.

Ham sandwiches everyday are really not healthy.

Miss re: the hair could be TA or teacher. Miss with the crisps could be a dinner lady or a child