to get annoyed by teacher

[PlonkerFace]

My 2 stepdaughters have moved in with me, DP and our 2 DS. They moved here 3 months ago and also moved schools to one nearer us. Youngest stepdaughters teacher is getting on my nerves. Every time she comes home from school the teacher has changed her hairstyle, at least 5 times I've sent her to school with ponytail/pigtails and she comes home with a plait instead and says "Miss did it". Also, she is a really picky eater and we are finding mealtimes really difficult at the moment, one thing she will eat is ham sandwiches so she has packed lunch for school. For the last week she's come home and said that she hasn't been eating any of her ham, "Miss" has been taking it out of the bread for her and throwing it away and she puts crisps inside instead. Why does she feel the need to do these things?! AIBU to let it get to me?

Did OP say the child was 5?

You can highlight the OP's posts so it is easier to scroll through and just read them Fairenuff.

Oh yes, I see her second post. Even at 5 though, the children can usually remember their teacher's name so double check which member of staff she is talking about and then go in and check with school what is really happening at lunch time.

I'd argue that some crisps might be better than some ham but that's beside the point. Just wanted clarrrp to calm down before they bust a blood vessel.

Why must it be a TA rather than a teacher? How can you tell from the post?

OP - who has told you what is happening?

For what its work I have known both teachers and TAs redo a child's hair if it has fallen out. They may well not do the exact same style as it was in before - often the ask the child. Some children like playing with their hair - many will do each others time too. Some teachers and TAs may be happy to indulge them in free time.

If you don't like it tell your DD to not go to the teacher/TA for her hair to be done.

Re the lunch. That does sound very strange. Is it the same teacher/TA? None of our teachers or TAs are involved at lunch times, we have lunchtime supervisors for that.

Most schools have heathy eating policies these days and a crisp sandwich definitely wouldn't be involved! I have seen children told to remove the filling and eat either the bread or the filling instead, depending on why a child won't eat their lunch. However, anything not eaten is normally left inside the packed lunch box for parents to monitor.

The lunch is the only think I would question - I'd simply ask the to make sure anytime not eaten is left inside the lunchbox so that I could tell how much she was eating, etc.

When my five year old came home and told me her teacher said that David Cameron was a lovely person who helps people I realised that her accounts of the day was probably nonsense.

If the child's hair is anything like my dd it falls out during the day and gets put back in by the grown up with the most amount of time on their hands.

Would the teacher even be there when she's eating her lunch?

I'd say the chances of teacher replacing ham with crisps are close to zero. When my DS has a story like this I usually say I'll check with the teacher tomorrow and that's usually enough for the story to change...

DD's teacher does her hair, I think it's nice!

If it's fallen out after break or PE I'd rather she came home neat with different hair rather than with it all loose like she did last year - when that teacher left it the way it was.
Teacher does it definitely, not TA by the way!

Or even if she's just redoing it while they chat, it sounds like a pleasant bonding sort of thing to me!

I agree that the most likely explanation is that DDs hair has fallen out and an adult has replaced it.
It is also worth considering that the word 'teacher' can mean any adult in a school, 5 year olds don't see TAs as different from teachers.

My DDs virtually never came home with the hairstyle they went in. It never occurred to me that this was an issue.

I'd mention the sandwiches to the teacher: "You'll never guess what daft thing MiniPlonk has been telling me..." and take it from there.

One of mine used to make up outlandish things, just an overactive imagination.

Actually that's very true. In my class both myself and the SNA are known as 'teacher'. Could possibly be an SNA with a bit of time fixing hair...though generally they have lots of other things to do!

What Fairuza said.

Oh please!

I doubt the teacher randomly changes pupils hairstyles.

Either it's fallen out of its original style or your daughter has asked the teacher/TA/dinner lady to do it for her.

I also doubt they are merrily flinging her sandwich filling away.

Why didn't you speak to the school after the second time it allegedly happened?

Weird.

I'm fairly sure that crisps eaten between two slices of bread aren't any worse for you than crisps eaten out of a packet! Perhaps stop putting a bag of crisps into her lunch box everyday if you don't want her eating crisps.

Does she do any of the other kids hair?

Possible solutions would be for you to ask the school to ring you when your DDs hair comes loose so you could pop in and correct the style, after all you wouldn't want her getting head lice would you? Or equip your 5 year old with hairbrush and teach her to rectify her own hairstyle mishaps. Also, re the crisp situation, don't put them in her bloody lunch box!!

I don't put crisps in her lunchbox which is partly the reason I'm annoyed! She has sandwiches, banana, tangerine or grapes, yoghurt and a drink. They send the kids rubbish home inside the lunchbox in a food recycling bag and there are crisps in there with her crusts so I know she isn't making it up

How odd, why don't you just have a word? Not about the hair though, that's a non-issue.

there are crisps in there with her crusts so I know she isn't making it up

No, what you know is that she is getting crisps from somewhere. Probably a friend.

Do you think the teacher has a supply of crisps handy to replace the ham in children's sandwiches? Really??

Oh, here we go...

Is your DD unhappy about her hair being plaited? My DD loves her teacher 'doing' her hair occasionally, it's like a special treat and has helped her bond with the teacher. As for the sandwiches, sounds like a caring teacher is trying to help your DD manage her lunch. Why not just speak to her? They probably are trying to help the children settle in to school. Must be hard being a teacher, can't do anything right.