to think a child should have a proper bed to sleep in?

[wronghairdontcare]

The DC concerned are staying with family friends for several months whilst renovation works are done to their home. During that time they will only have airbed/ foam mattress to sleep on....aibu to think given that this isn't just a few days they should have proper beds?

[KondosSecretJunkRoom]

I suspect they are told not to disclose it.

Oh give over 'disclose it' ffs.

Given the fuss you have generated over this, they may have been told not to tell. But slipping in the language of neglect is very dramatic.

[ElsaAintAsColdAsMe]

When they complain say "it's not for long" and maybe "just think how exciting it will be to have your room all redone and new beds, you won't even remember this soon".

It's not difficult.

[00100001]

Opinions are clear: YABU
Advice is: Buy a mattress/bed/alternative for them or keep your nose out. OR pass message though father and let him deal with it as you seem to think any communication is impossible and these children have zero idea of where they are living.


If you're determined to ignore advice, why keep posting?

[JustWantToBeDorisAgain]

personally i think you are stirring up the situation, the dc may have mentioned a back ache, but anyone can get backache for sleeping awkwardly.

They are young kids and this is very much a first world non problem.

If they complain remind them of why they are there and what they have to look forward to when the work is finished, that should be enough for most kids.

[titchy]

What?! You don't know how to manage kids complaining? Have you ever actually had your own kids? How did you deal with moaning and whining then? Hint - do the same. 'Oh well, never mind', 'That's a shame, now shall we get on with this jigsaw', 'Yes it must be a nuisance. Now, how was school.' Do you need any more suggestions?

[wronghairdontcare]

Up to 6 months is quite a long time when you're 10.

They know the rough location but don't appear to know the road name. This is quite possibly true, they are driven there so wouldn't need to know. Or their DM may have told them not to say, or they may feel they shouldn't. I can't say.

I can't buy beds, as I don't know where they are living. I could pass a letter or suggest their DF does, but past history suggests there will be no response.

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

You're like a dog with a bone. It's ridiculous frankly.

[wronghairdontcare]

I've never had to deal with children complaining of physical discomfort to the point of tears caused by their sleeping arrangements.

I can't really tell them what they have to look forward to because I have no idea what's being done, and they only have v basic knowledge.

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

Ah, tears now...

[PPie10]

You are being really thick headed about this. What aren't you understanding that it's not your business?

[BrightSunshineyDay]

lack of proper beds is a child protection issue.

No it isn't. I had 3 social workers visit where me and my dc were sleeping. We were sleeping on a duvet on the floor for 18 months. They didn't bat an eyelid.

[Chocolatefudgecake100]

Yabu its none of ur business n it is temporary what a busy body

[RedToothBrush]

So I should just ignore what they say then and tell their DF/ others in our family to do similar

Erm in a word.

Yes.

[KondosSecretJunkRoom]

I can't really tell them what they have to look forward to because I have no idea what's being done

Maybe we can we assume that the future will involve a bed?

[MiffleTheIntrovert]

Why won't you say what your relationship to these children is?

[MiffleTheIntrovert]

Ugh terrible grammar there sorry

[EveryoneElsie]

OP is it possible the kids are playing you like a violin?
Or is it possible they are saying that just to get you to stop digging?

[00100001]

They're crying because of the pain? Are there rusty nails hidden in the foam mattress???


Once again OP - what advice are you actually after? Seeing as you have no way to communicate with their mother?

As an aside, what would happen if the kids were hurt when with Dad, and they had to go to hospital? How would he let Mum know?

[00100001]

What does their father say about it all?

[loulou0987]

If you have no means of contacting them and no way to offer help why are you spending so much time on this? You can't do anything anyway.

[kinkytoes]

I think you should contact SS about this.

No really.

[wronghairdontcare]

They're on the verge of tears, not crying as such.

I don't know what they'd gain from making it up.

If the children were injured, the only means of contact is email. For either parent. Emails sent are not responded to though and are really for info only ie X has a drs appt on Y date so will be dropped off late, that kind of thing.

Their DF is worried/ concerned about their reported discomfort and unsure how best to proceed given the lack of contact and that he doesn't even know where they are living at present.

Anyway I am going to bow out of this thread now as apparently it is nothing to be concerned about. I'm sure though if I was posting that DC didn't have proper beds to sleep in at the non resident parents' house (even if temporary) everyone should be saying the RP shouldn't send them for contact etc.

[RedToothBrush]

Well talk to the parents like a grown up then instead of whinging on the internet about the poor loves.

[00100001]

I fail to see what else you can do, apart from get the father to get in touch with the mother

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

So determined you're right. Unbelievable arrogance on your part here op. Maybe you're not their stepmother but I'm guessing dad's girlfriend.