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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think a child should have a proper bed to sleep in?

176 replies

wronghairdontcare · 09/06/2016 08:07

The DC concerned are staying with family friends for several months whilst renovation works are done to their home. During that time they will only have airbed/ foam mattress to sleep on....aibu to think given that this isn't just a few days they should have proper beds?

OP posts:
Caffeinator · 09/06/2016 09:32

What is the point in threads that go like this;

OP: AIBU?

PP: Yes YABU

OP: No I'm not BU and here's why.

MTPurse · 09/06/2016 09:35

You're being awfully cagey with your wording... Are these children by any chance your step children?

That was my first thought! I think you are spot on.

CrazyDuchess · 09/06/2016 09:36

Ahhh Paul..... that would make sense

OohMavis · 09/06/2016 09:37

^^ what PaulAnka said. I'll bet my packet of sour cream Bugles that you're the stepmum.

Which is fine, by the way, but no need to be so vague about it. You're entitled to feel concerned about your stepchildren.

I don't think there's anything to be concerned about though, personally.

Penfold007 · 09/06/2016 09:39

Perhaps their DF could put them up during the renovations or maybe you could?

Gottagetmoving · 09/06/2016 09:42

Oh for goodness sake, sleeping on an airbed/foam mattress will not do them harm. So long as they get sleep it is fine. They could sleep on a floor and it would still be fine. People all over the world survive it.
Please remember we live in a society that takes beds for granted. No one died of not sleeping on a bed.

KondosSecretJunkRoom · 09/06/2016 09:42

Well it's not best practice but it's not the end of the world.

The thing about kids who are in the fortunate position of having loving parents is that they can whinge for England. If the bed situation were a genuine problem for them and if it was a situation that was easily solvable then you could place your last tenner on the fact that the resident parent would have solved it, if only to stop the incessant complaining.

I think you are looking to hoik your pants over nothing.

Buckinbronco · 09/06/2016 09:49

Drspouse I think you've misunderstood the CP issue. Lack of beds is a sign of bigger issues but not for a temporary, common sense reason like refurbishment of a house.

Dawndonnaagain · 09/06/2016 09:49

Dd2 is Autistic. She hated her bed. Still does. She slept on the floor, graduated to cushions and now occasionally pulls the mattress off the bed and sleeps on that. She rarely sleeps in the bed. She's 20, it's done her no harm whatsoever.

Skippedthelightfandango · 09/06/2016 09:49

I think this is a bit of a first world problem to be honest! Many parts of the world children do not sleep on mattresses. It is only in fairly recent history that people used sprung mattresses and our ancestors must have survived.

I think the kids will be fine unless there are other reasons to be concerned

Tigerblue · 09/06/2016 09:50

Obviously it's much better if you can be on a proper bed, but if we had extra bodies sleeping in our house, it would have to be a put-u-up or airbed which could be moved. We can't get a full length bed in our spare bedroom and if anywhere else my DD couldn't get to her wardrobe or we couldn't have access to the dining table..

APlaceOnTheCouch · 09/06/2016 10:02

Are you always critical of the DM's choices? Because you seem to be looking for something to complain about. DCs exaggerate. You have no idea what they are sleeping on, where they are staying or how long they plan to stay there. Obviously this lack of information is irritating you but it also seems clear that you don't have the right to any more information than that.

Using the DCs' words to try to score points against their mother, doesn't seem very edifying.

MonkeyBrainsInPickle · 09/06/2016 10:05

First world problem much Hmm

Timetogrowup2016 · 09/06/2016 10:05

Yabu.
My sil,s 4 year old moans about things all the time. Their probably saying it because they want a real bed not because it's actually hurting.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 09/06/2016 10:05

I see what's happening.

Parents don't talk, dad gets contact and uses the time to get information about how shit the mum is, tells family who all bitch between themselves but nobody offers to help solve the 'issue' they just use it as evidence of how shit the mum is and how great the dad is.

Just your average bitter break up, with added nosy step mother family member wanting to throw in "MN agrees she is a shit parent" when the next bitching session begins.

Timetogrowup2016 · 09/06/2016 10:06

When I first moved in with dp we bought an air bed for a few months until we bought our real bed. Was comfy as anything.

itsonlysubterfuge · 09/06/2016 10:06

I use to sleep on an airbed mattress, I did it for months and months, it was comfortable.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 09/06/2016 10:09

No OP to confirm or deny my step mother comment?

HisNameWasPrinceAndHeWasFunky · 09/06/2016 10:11

They should have just taken the mattresses off the old beds.
You keep saying this as if it makes any difference.
They didn't and the old mattresses are gone now so what is the point in saying this over and over?

You might find this enlightening:

justsomething.co/where-children-sleep-20-powerful-photos-of-kids-bedrooms-from-around-the-world/

loulou0987 · 09/06/2016 10:20

are you related to these children?

JerryFerry · 09/06/2016 10:23

They'll be so fine. When they're sleeping in a car or on a park bench, we can begin to worry

00100001 · 09/06/2016 10:37

I'm very confused. How old are these children? How do they not know where they are living? Confused
I could understand not knowing the exact address, but they must be able to tell you a house number, a road and a town? surely?

Unless they're 3 or something?

wronghairdontcare · 09/06/2016 11:16

I am at work so cant give a lightening response to every query. Sorry. But no, I'm not their SM, and nothing has come from DF, it's what the children have said themselves. There is no bitching going on.

Their DF wasn't able to offer to have them at his house in advance as he didn't know they were moving. Plus their DM would not let them stay with him ft as she could not be there, and it would be contrary to the terms of their access arrangements.

Children are 8 and 10. They are driven to and fro so whilst they know approx area don't know the road etc.

I am surprised people think sleeping on an uncomfortable makeshift bed for months is acceptable. It puts me, and anyone else they speak to about it in an invidious position. Should I just ignore their comments? I have said if they are uncomfortable/ in pain to speak to their DM but they say she is dismissive.

OP posts:
00100001 · 09/06/2016 11:19

Well, why ask if you're being unreasonable when you're so convinced you're not? Confused

KondosSecretJunkRoom · 09/06/2016 12:07

I have said if they are uncomfortable/ in pain to speak to their DM but they say she is dismissive.

Well, at least she has equipped them with a good vocabulary.

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