to think a child should have a proper bed to sleep in?

[wronghairdontcare]

The DC concerned are staying with family friends for several months whilst renovation works are done to their home. During that time they will only have airbed/ foam mattress to sleep on....aibu to think given that this isn't just a few days they should have proper beds?

[SissySpacekAteMyHamster]

Wish my kids would actually sleep in their beds!

A duvet wrapped round on a carpetted floor is apparently just fine if you're 6, 9 and 11.

[titchy]

It doesn't put you in an awkward position at all, unless you want it to which clearly you do

You just say 'Oh well never mind I'm sure it'll be worth it soon'. Same as you would if they moaned about having to eat broccoli.

[TealLove]

Very bad for their backs. I think it's unfair. Agree with OP.

[wronghairdontcare]

Some children or adults will sleep on floor and are comfortable. Some can sleep comfortably on an airbed. Normally only for a period of days rather than months. I've slept on foam sofa beds, and indeed on sofas many times without discomfort, but only for a day or so here and there, it's never been my only bed.

If they said they were comfortable I couldn't care less what they were sleeping on. But they say very clearly they are not. I don't pander to children generally but completely ignoring them/ suggesting their DF does the same seems counter intuitive.

[EveryoneElsie]

Buy them replacement mattresses.

[wronghairdontcare]

Eating vegetables is beneficial.

Can't see how they benefit from a bad and painful nights sleep 11/14 nights.

[wronghairdontcare]

I can't buy them mattresses as I don't know where they are staying. Plus surely that should be for their DM to do?

[AnnaMarlowe]

I'm assuming that you are the children's Grandmother OP.

In which case politely raise your concerns with the children's mother. Offer assist buying mattresses or offer another solution.

[Mouikey]

We just bough an incredibly expensive cot which came with a foam mattress... I can't see the issue if they are happy

[KondosSecretJunkRoom]

Say we all agreed with you and thought that not providing your children with a proper mattress was unreasonable, what would that change?

Because it doesn't sound like you want to do anything about it, just bitch about their DM.

[wronghairdontcare]

I have no means of contacting their DM. As mentioned previously she and their DF are not on speaking terms.

This is not a foam cot mattress, it's a foam fold out mattress. Not something you would have on a cot or bed.

[RedToothBrush]

Babies sleep in cardboard boxes in Finland.

It won't harm the kids. It might even make them appreciate things more in the long run.

I wonder how much the conversation is driven by relatives rather than the children themselves anyway.

OP do you accept that the parents are responsible enough to look after their children and make decisions about their welfare? If you do, then you respect that they are able to decide whether this arrangement is ok or not.

Otherwise if you have reason to believe to the contrary I would suggest you take it up with social services. Which you won't because there is nothing wrong with the arrangement.

Failing that, buy a mattress or shut up.

[Spotsandstars]

Interfering grandparent?

[titchy]

I'm wondering how OP knows so much about these mattresses. 8 and 10 year olds do not normally have a clue about foam, blow up, sprung coil, memory foam or anything.

Ooh maybe they're really expensive memory foam mattresses?

[AugustaFinkNottle]

Surely the DF has some means of contacting the mother? Otherwise what would he do in the event of an emergency when they are with him? Can you ask him?

[wronghairdontcare]

Babies are very light, these children are much older and therefore heavier. And they volunteer that they are uncomfortable.

The information is not wheedled out of them or twisted.

I suspect social services have far mpre important things to do than look into this so I am reluctant to report. The DC are not being beaten, starved, abused. That's the only stuff for social services imo. But I'm afraid I do think it's poor, maybe even neglectful, to allow your children to be in discomfort and do nothing about it when they could have proper mattresses, and as a parent you're sleeping in a proper bed.

[wronghairdontcare]

They know one is a blow up mattress, they have been camping so understand what these are. The other is a folding mattress, the type that folds into a stool, there are similar at relatives' houses used when guests are visiting so again easy to reference and describe.

[ThisisMajorTomtoGroundControl]

Sometimes shit circumstances happen. My children were sleeping on the actual floor with towels and blankets for mattresses. School knew, services knew. Nothing more could be done. We were homeless and had no idea what the hell was going be to happen or how long it would take to sort out. Dragged on for months.

Nothing I could do to improve the situation at the time except continue to be the best parent I could. Everything is settled now and fine. They have not been harmed mentally or physically by the experience and are very aware when they see rough sleepers that actually it wasn't so bad after all.

So as longs as there are no other concerns it's just a ride it out situation.

[kittensandgin]

Children are 8 and 10. They are driven to and fro so whilst they know approx area don't know the road etc.

Surely a ten-year-old would know the road and house number after a couple of days? I have also never heard any child that age complain of back problems regardless of sleeping situation....

[AnnaMarlowe]

The children visit you though OP?

If you are seriously concerned write a very, very nice note to the Mum offering to assist and ask the eldest child to pass it on.

[Gottagetmoving]

Oh, this is just getting ridiculous. The Children are healthy & thriving and OP is worrying about them sleeping on temporary beds.
There are much more important things to fret about.
God, I would hate to have a relative/friend as obsessed as OP.

Kids complaining? Meh!... Tha's what kids do.

[MiffleTheIntrovert]

You might not be a step mother but I wondering if you are the father's girlfriend? Why won't you say what your relationship is? It was a bit odd that you didn't mention they said their backs were hurting in the OP.

You remind me of a recent judgey poster complaining (I think) about nieces sharing a bedroom - that poster was BU too.

I don't believe for one moment an 8 and 10 year old wouldn't know the road name. I would guess they just don't want to tell you!

[wronghairdontcare]

I suspect they are told not to disclose it. They were not told they were moving at all until the last minute, probably so they would not pass the info on.

Ok so most people think even if they say it's uncomfortable etc it's no big deal. So I should just ignore what they say then and tell their DF/ others in our family to do similar? Is that not unfair to the DC?

[00100001]

What do you propose doing then OP? (apart from posting on Mumsnet)

[wronghairdontcare]

I was posting for opinions and advice.

I note the prevailing opinion is these sort of beds are fine indefinitely even if DC complain.

I'd like some suggestions on how to manage those complaints though, if people have any.