Was my son wrong to keep this tip?

[Sallystyle]

DS is at college and was doing front of house.

The deal is any tips they get they have to put in a jar which goes towards the college for any trips or whatever. A lovely woman gave him a £5.00 tip and DS thanked her and told her that he would put it in the jar. Woman said she wanted him to personally have it because he did such a good job, again he said it had to go in the jar and then she put it in the jar herself.

Minutes later she asked for a handshake, she shook his hand and handed him £1.00 stealthily not so stealthily and said she really wanted him to keep it for himself.

He kept it. He got caught and he needs to meet with his tutor tomorrow and he thinks he's going to get told it was wrong to keep it.

Not a big deal but he asked what my MN friends would have done

I teach in a college which also runs a training restaurant as part of a different department. They operate a similar system for tips (shared pot) but the money is used for the students to go for a nice meal/bowling night /whatever as a group at the end of the semester. The teaching staff realise the tips are a "reward" and everyone benefits from them. It definitely does not go into the college coffers, regardless of how underfunded it is.

OP, I think your son was a bit daft, but is genuinely sorry and his tutor will be fine when they have the chat tomorrow.

Restaurants need to have clear policies on the handling of tips so as not to fall foul of HMRC rules. It's important fir the college to teach these principles just as they need to teach good hygiene etc.

I'm sure the teacher will explain this and not be a telling off, especially as your son has already figured out it was a bad plan. Sorry he is having a bad time x

I am just reading back the posts again, could it be that the students haven't had a share of the tips because it's not the end of term yet? I genuinely can't believe that they go into the college's funds. If it's anything like in my place the restaurant prices will be so heavily subsidised for AMAZING food that people tip really, really generously.

Yes, the tips did help fund a trip earlier in the year.

I didn't mean the college pockets it for their own benefit. I did say in my OP that it goes towards 'trips and whatever' but I should have been more clearer in other posts :)

He didn't do anything wrong it's all blown out of proportion poor kid.

I would be surprised if he got into big trouble over it. I think the worst that will happen is that he gets told not to do it again once he explains.

At least I hope.

OP, I swear, for a student to be booted out of my place they would have to do something absolutely terrible. As an example, two students last year were involved in bullying another student on social media, with racist undertones. They had various meetings, were excluded from classes until they'd had a big meeting with the head of faculty, then were allowed to continue their course, and actually to progress to a higher level this year. The college will be reliant on students successfully completing their courses for their PIs and funding. At this stage in the semester there's huge pressure on staff to get students through even if they've barely ever attended a class so the figures don't suffer. At worst, he's made an error of judgement and grassed up for it.

I can totally understand why he kept it - she gave cash for the jar but she WANTED to give it to him - she wouldn't have placed any more in the jar anyway. It was a gift and it's too horrible that he's got to defend himself as if he's been sneaky or dishonest - I do hope he explains the situation carefully.

He should've put it in the jar, that's the deal. Years of waitressing- you share tips!

I think as others have said the guest put him in a very difficult position.

The easiest thing to do is to accept the pound, put it in your pocket and then put it in the tip jar once the guest has gone. However, it's very tricky if, as your son has experienced, somebody spots you in that interim time between putting it in your pocket and putting it in the tip jar - because you didn't get a chance to put it in there yourself, there's always going to be somebody who will say that you weren't going to (hmmm - maybe they're projecting and that's what they would do in that situation?).

I think without clear guidance from the tutors about what to do in this exact circumstance, what your son did was reasonable, not least because you don't want to keep a pound coin in your hand for ages, much easier to pocket it and put it back out later.

Hopefully it will be a good general chat and there will be a clear guideline for what to do in this situation as a result of it - not least because I'm guessing that they also teach the students to be polite as possible to the customers and he did try very hard to refuse the personal tip.

I don't think he did anything wrong - his excellence had already earned £5 00 for pot (which the customer had initially wanted him to have) so IMHO there is no reason why he should be made to feel guilty for not putting the additional £1 she then gifted to him personally in the pot too. The pot was already £5 better off than it was before he served her, so he'd done his bit for the general good.

Had he pocketed the £5 00 I would have thought differently and I hope that his tutor or whoever speaks to him tomorrow gives him credit for the fact that he didn't do this and views the £1 00 for what it was - a personal gift from a grateful diner.

U2, O/T but I have a dd that sounds just like your ds but has gone from fine art into catering. She's very socially awkward but has started a new job as an apprentice commis chef and loves it.
She was fortunate to get a waitress job in a big local hotel where get eagerness impressed the chef and she was suddenly a commis
Has he considered an apprenticeship instead?

As for the £1, hopefully the tutor won't make too much out of it. His worrying has probably been the biggest lesson he could learn. I understand completely that it's difficult to deal with customers sometimes.

Tell him to keep sharpening those knives and crack on!

I work for a lowish wage but get commission for certain sales. I have to have made those sales using my ID on the till.

I think it was unwise of you son to take the tip ( I give allowances due to his age)

I think any further tips should be sanctioned by his superior.

It would be silly to lose everything for the sake of a few quid.

I can understand why he did what he did under pressure from his customer. But if the rule is to pool the tips they all go in the pot.
Real restaurants that share tips have a written policy that you sign and not following policy ie pocketing tips would be a sackable offence. You have to be above suspicion and never ever put money in your pocket even for a moment with the full intention of jarring it.
Sharing tips is more than fair in most places as it rewards chefs kitchen porters hosts and bar staff who's hard work all adds to the experience you get whilst eating our.