Feel a bit hurt,Am I Being a bit sensitive or not?

[SeenYourArse]

Have worked for my boss for 9 years,just the two of us working alone together in a small business for the last 7 of those years. Have been trying for a baby with my husband for the last 3.5 years (been married 4.5 years for background and context) had a miscarriage 3 years ago and since then it's taken 3 years to fall pregnant again,we are delighted and feel so so lucky and grateful. I told my boss I was pregnant the day after my 3 month scan and followed all protocols re MATB1 form etc and telling her my news ASAP it was 'safe' to do so (miscarried at 11 weeks the first time)
She simply said 'oh ok,nice one' when I told her and literally didn't mention it again until she overheard me telling a client who is also a friend my happy news a month later,when she took me to one side and said I wasn't to tell ANYONE we meet through work about my news and had to keep it to myself. Fast forwards the rest of my pregnancy and she hasn't mentioned a word to me about it,no health and safety protocols or assessments put in place or even a 'are you coping ok is there anything we can do to make life easier?' In my job I stand up for 9 hours a day with one break in the middle of the day for an hour,I did this until I was 37 weeks plus 4 when I finished for maternity leave. I worked until as far along as I could to help her out and give her more time to find maternity cover but she hasn't tried to find anyone at all.
On the day I left work (I am having 8 months off receiving just stat mat pay) she simply said 'bye have a good weekend' as normal and that was it,no card or goodbye or little present. I'm a bit upset by her completely cold lack of even pretending to care or give a monkeys,I'm stuck between feeling after working alongside each other for so long and knowing how long we tried for surely a £1 card to show she appreciates my hard work (my last week was a record in takings due to my doing so much work despite struggling a little with standing up 8 hours when heavily pregnant) and feeling like a diva for expecting any acknowledgement from her??
Just feel very under appreciated and like no matter how much I put the company first and try my hardest she never gives me any credit. For a bit of background info I'm regularly left as sole charge and open and close up most days and my boss has around 40 days holiday per year to my 17 (I work 4 long ish days) so she is used to relying on me and being able to go abroad without giving the business a second thought,I just run things the same whether she's there or not.
Sorry to waffle on I'm just childishly envious perhaps of my friend who finished work for mat leave a couple of months ago and got flowers,a card and went out for lunch on her last day etc,she said it was a lovely day and felt like a real occasion and a new beginning.

No you don't at all as she doesn't even pay me it,the government does she pays me then claims it back in full from them.

I work 4 days a week hence the minimum she told me is 16 days,she said when I first started that I'd get an extra days holiday per year I worked there so the following year it rose to 17 days but hasn't risen again since!

No pay raise in 7 years and you're still there? That's unreasonable, but your boss sounds odd and like she's taking massive advantage of you. Hope mat leave goes well and you have a smooth delivery.

Are you sure she is actually human?!

That's not at all normal, you are not being sensitive or unreasonable

YANBU at all. Sounds like a very unappreciative employer. I run my own small business and I would feel thoroughly ashamed of treating any employee like this! No pay rise in 7 years?? That is disgraceful.
You need to make it clear that you will be looking for another position where your hard work and loyalty will be rewarded.

Becky the government doesn't pay you back for the cost and time of recruiting maternity cover and then training them. It doesn't sound like the boss is going to find someone as dedicated as the OP who'll put up with what sound like fairly poor conditions, so the company is going to lose out.

No you're not being unreasonable in any way, that's utterly shit of her.

No that's crap. She may be having issues of her own but she needs to get over them and be nice and normal. Not sure when this happened though - have you just gone on mat leave now? Sorry, I couldn't tell from your OP. I just wonder if she'll be a bit more effusive when the baby is here (unless baby is here already??)

I'd be looking for a new job tbh. You've given her a lot and she's not exactly giving it back in spades and now you're at a vulnerable point in your life and it would be nice to have good wishes from someone who relies on you so much.

i would feel the same whther or not shes having personal problems she sholdnt be rude to you

id look for somewhere else doesnt sound like she'll be any use if u have to dash off for some reason when baby is here

How many hours per week did you work? Did you get public holidays on top of 17 days?

My boss asked me if I'd be taking more than 4 weeks maternity leave ...

She sounds like an absolute shit. Enjoy your mat leave and your lovely baby. Then find a new job.,

16 days is correct if you work 4 days a week as it would be 4/5 x 20 days. You are also entitled to 4/5 of the bank holidays, in addition so you would have a total of 22.4 days a year including those bank holidays.

The minimum living wage now, if you are over 25 is £7.20 so as long as you are paid that much then she is within the law.

You also accrue holiday pay whilst on maternity leave, so please make sure she pays you that.

Your holiday is wrong. It used to be employers had to give 4 weeks as a minimum, but there was no guidance on bank hols so the 4 weeks included bank hols for some- so if you worked 4 days a week you would get 16 days minimum. But this changed to 4 weeks plus bank hols so 28 days, so working 4 days you would be entitled to 22.4 days.

But yes, your employer is being very unreasonable. Sounds like she's pissed off at you having maternity leave.

SeenYourArse
I work 4 days a week hence the minimum she told me is 16 days,she said when I first started that I'd get an extra days holiday per year I worked there so the following year it rose to 17 days but hasn't risen again since!

It looks like the current entitlement was introduced in April 2009. As previously stated, you are entitled to 22.4 days holiday per year, which can include bank holidays you would otherwise have worked. So I guess it depends how many bank holidays you've had off each year in addition to the 17 days.

She sounds horrible. I don't give a damn if she's having ttc issues, so have lots of us, but we still behave like decent human beings.

Definitely time for a new job. New baby, new life, new job!

for you.

My boss was very sulky when I had my first child.
I was so nervous telling him I'd be taking a full year maternity rather than 9 months due to various health problems (baby's). Now looking back he can't even remember how long I was away.
Trust me: no matter what her reactions were to anything, to you or your colleague's announcements, it is not worth thinking or worrying about now. Personally (and if possible!) I'd choose to believe that her reluctance to celebrate your leaving is a sign of appreciating you - and then draw a line under the miserable swine and say "right! I'm enjoying my last days of pregnancy!"
Oh, and YANBU at all!

💐🍫 She has been unspeakably awful.

No issues prevent her from being a decent employer - card, gift, big fat fuss. Bare minimum.

She really should be giving you something on top of SMP given your length of service etc. She's been treating you like crap for a long time though, this has just highlighted it.

I'm guessing she said you weren't to tell anyone because they know how much of the work you do and would worry about it all falling apart if you left.

So, in light of that. How do you fancy working for yourself? What does she bring to the business that you can't either do yourself or outsource? You owe her nothing

Don't go back. Life is too short to work with dickheads.

You're not being sensitive, your boss sounds as if she treats you like an appliance.

I'd be very careful to check that you're actually getting all of the pay, holiday and mat leave benefits that you're entitled to, because your boss is either a conniving liar or utterly inept when it comes to staff..

Thanks again everyone I really appreciate the support it's heartening to hear that I'm not being a spoilt brat as I feared I might!

I started my maternity leave last week and I'm due in 8 days time! will see how things go and how I Feel about going back once the baby is here.

The thing is I know she was TTC last year as we once briefly discussed it as I was too (although she is over 10 years older than me and in her mid forties and only just decided she wanted to try) but I was having fertility issues too. I was so very very lucky to conceive which I appreciate every single day and pray for our baby to arrive safely but if the shoe were on the other foot I'd at least pretend to be pleased for her even if I didn't feel it as it's just the done thing isn't it
My best friend told me she was pregnant 7 weeks after I lost our first baby,my heart literally broke but I tried never to show it as it's not her fault and I was so pleased for her although admittedly a little jealous I'm ashamed to say.

PinkUnicorns I work 30 hours a week over 4 days and do get bank holidays as my usual days off are a Sunday,Monday and Tuesday so they don't affect me it's a normal working week. I do however get Easter Saturday off (as we work a normal day on Good Friday) and an extra Saturday in June off for our small towns festival day as the road we are in is closed that day so it's not possible to work that day. I am only allowed to book 3 Saturday's per year as part of my holiday entitlements the rest of my holiday must be week days.

I'm also off off on Sundays and Mondays so if a bank holiday falls on a Monday, as they all do except Christmas, we get the Tuesday off too.

She just sounds like a crap boss.

I'd be hurt too, enjoy your mat leave and your baby, and when you're ready - hand your notice in! There are plenty of employers out there who will snap up someone so hardworking with no need for a pay rise! (and they give you a card and flowers)

You're still entitled to bank holidays.

I work 30 hours a week and get 27 days + 9 bank holidays per year but pro rata'd

So 36/35x30 works out as 30 full days per year. Or 210 hours.

Clopy your holiday entitlement is more generous than the statutory minimum - bank holidays can be included in the 28 days' allowance for f/time workers. You get them on top of the 28 days.

SeenYourArse
I work 30 hours a week over 4 days and do get bank holidays as my usual days off are a Sunday,Monday and Tuesday so they don't affect me it's a normal working week. I do however get Easter Saturday off (as we work a normal day on Good Friday) and an extra Saturday in June off for our small towns festival day

OP, you are at least being shorted by 0.4 days, possibly more. You are entitled to 22.4 days paid leave, which can include bank holidays (i.e. bank holidays which fall on days you would normally work).

There are 8 bank holidays per year, 4 of which fall on a Monday, which you don't work, so they are irrelevant to you. You get an in lieu day for another bank holiday (Good Friday) and an additional Saturday for the festival day. So that's presumably 17 days + 2 days. But that only leaves 3 bank holidays which fall on variable days (Christmas day, Boxing day, New Year's day). Even if you were given all of those on top of your 17 days, that would be 17+2+3 = 22 days.

If a bank holiday falls on a Tuesday, which you don't normally work, do you get another day off, paid?

I think it's possible to claim holiday pay retrospectively for up to 2 years if you haven't received your statutory entitlement.