Toddler under water

[viviennewestood]

Took dd to a parent and toddler swimming session today at the local pool. I was sat on the steps while dd sat next to me splashing in the water and a little boy probably around the same age as dd (18 months) was coming towards me and kept dipping under the water, gasping for air. His mum wasn't far behind him but kept saying things like 'go on, don't be a wimp'. He started to cry and then completely went under when he was practically in front of me so I lifted him up without thinking. His mum then snapped at me and said he's getting used to being under water, don't touch him. Was I being unreasonable to lift the child out of the water? He was under for a few seconds trying to scramble to the top.

""calling a toddler a wimp while he struggles in the water crosses a line."

Which line is that slipper? The line where your opinion becomes more important than the other mother's?"

Correct.

I've already said this, but I'll repeat it. The "your kid, your rules" thing only goes so far. There's nothing I could do about a parent who wants to call her toddler a wimp, except challenge it using speech. So that is what I would do.

The mother was there with 2 other women and their (older) children and to me it seemed like there was a bit of competition going on to see whose child was the best at swimming. The poor little boy was clearly terrified though and the look of relief on his face when I lifted him up said it all. I said to her that I wasn't sure whether he was comfortable in the water but that was my pathetic attempt at telling her that he looked petrified!

One of my DCs could swim unassisted at that age.

However if another adult was worried they were struggling and pulled them out of the water, I wouldn't have been cross. I'd much rather someone got pulled them out needlessly than sat and watched a child drown out of fear of being told off. So I think the mum was being unreasonable for having a go at you.