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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Another PIL thread.

56 replies

DuvetDayEveryday · 05/06/2016 17:17

They came over after lunch and have spent the afternoon doing jobs around the house. MIL has done all the weeding and planted my pots. FIL has put DHs pull up bar up in the garage and has brought some screws round to fix our towel rail, which he's now fixing.

They won't even stay for dinner as they had a big lunch and we had to convince them to let us take them home as they were going to get the bus.

The fuckers Grin

AIBU?

OP posts:
Specky4eyes · 05/06/2016 19:02

nctosaythis - fun zapper

SquinkiesRule · 05/06/2016 19:12

My garden needs weeding, I hate doing it it makes my back ache. Mum is now too old and the inlaws are NC. Send yours over to me OP you are one lucky beggar. I could do with them visiting, although FIL would have to fight Dh for the jobs. I'll make lots of tea and buy naice biscuits.

Peyia · 05/06/2016 19:13

*The next day, I found a knife that clearly belongs in the knife block had been out in the cutlery drawer.

PA bastards*

It is a piss take of people that have overbearing or abusive relationships with their parents/pil who have complained about it on MN. Thankfully the majority of people have wonderful relationships with their family, but this joke thread doesn't sit right with me when words like narc and passive agressive are chucked in the mix.

At least own it and not dismiss what nctosaythis has said. Sorry you had a difficult realtionship with your family btw.

PetuliaGristle · 05/06/2016 19:25

Before everyone has a go at nctosaythis just take time to put yourself in her shoes, having a horrible time and seeing a thread that appearing to make light of the issue. It's great that pp have lovely parents and grandparents, good for you. By the way, I thank my lucky stars that I haven't had this problem, though I've seen it peripherally. It doesn't mean that I can't imagine how awful it can be. Big hugs to stately home posters, reality check to the rest of us.

Chippednailvarnishing · 05/06/2016 19:26

Would you consider a swap?

DeathStare · 05/06/2016 19:34

Those of you criticising, why do make the assumption that those people posting humorous comments don't come from abusive backgrounds? It is possible to come from an abusive background and still see the humour in this thread.

It's also possible to have difficult/annoying/passive agressive/infuriating relatives without them being abusive.

lamingtonnutty · 05/06/2016 19:59

Can I adopt them?!

maisiejones · 05/06/2016 20:00

Jesus! Some people could start a fight in an empty room! 🙄

Olddear · 05/06/2016 20:02

Only on MN.....

Peyia · 05/06/2016 20:15

DeathStare I haven't assumed they don't and good for them to overcome it with humour. I'm just not comfortable making light of words such as narc and passive aggressive.

And isn't AIBU for a variety of opinions, seeing as it's a question to everyone? My mistake, will go and look for a fight elsewhere!

Enjoy the banter (I generally do enjoy a laugh. The dog joke thread had me in stitches) I just felt bad for nctosaythis being dismissed as a killjoy.

CombineBananaFister · 05/06/2016 20:24

Being a stout Yorkshire lass am not prone to these emotions malarky but this has made me feel a bit toasty - how bloody lovely Grin

Fishface77 · 05/06/2016 20:35

Ah lovely thread!
It's nice to have a light hearted thread. For those complaining, Flowers for you but we don't all have issues and if you don't like the thread hide it!

ClopySow · 05/06/2016 20:45

Actually i think it's more taking the piss out of people who jump on anything with "narc, PA/FOG, "DH is your problem", "are they always this controlling"

Armchair psychology is fuckung rife on this site and the people doing the diagnosing can be down right dangerous because the shite they speak comes straight out of a bit of a book they've read. Or heard about.

They're particularly bad about in laws and mothers. It's obvious projection.

Anyway OP, your MIL is clearly trying to undermine you. Ban her from your house.

Knackered46 · 05/06/2016 21:14

You have a dh problem - phone 111 - or 101 - or summat...

Failing that send em round here cos my hedge needs cutting! 😁

nctosaythis · 05/06/2016 21:24

I thought about just messaging you but it seemed fairer although more frightening to come back to apologise in public Duvet. I shouldn't have reacted that way. It's always hurtful to see the 'narc' and 'go NC' responses on joke threads like these, those things are not easy to deal with on a daily basis and many people seem to think they're funny. But then people use 'LTB' as a joke and you don't get others ruining the fun just because they're in pain. There really is no excuse for it and I am sincerely sorry. If I could take it back I would. Flowers

2rebecca · 05/06/2016 21:28

I don't have issues with my Inlaws but think it is patronising and smug to start a thread like this belittling all the people who do. There isn't an AIBU. It's just smug

Original poster
DuvetDayEveryday · 05/06/2016 21:28

Don't even think about it. I can see why you felt that way totally. I didn't mean the thread in that way at all but I apologise if it came across as a piss take. I have EA parents so tend to second guess all the lovely things my PILs do, and that disordered thinking was the inspiration for the thread.

OP posts:
DoomGloomAndKaboom · 05/06/2016 21:29

I am nc with my abusive parents and I think this thread is funny. Didn't occur to me it was taking the piss out of anyone. I'm sorry for anyone who has had shitty horrible parents and believe me, I know what they've been through.

But this is a lighthearted thread and anyone who can't see that and instead transposes their own issues onto it, is in a bad place and deserves sympathy.

So if this thread has upset you, I'm sure that was not the OP's intention. If there's a thread called 'Get over it, you whingers with the crap parents, woman up and move on' then you have grounds to complain. But for this? No. This thread isn't about you, it's about someone with nice in-laws saying how much they appreciate them and how lucky they are. You might not like they way they've gone about it but it's not a dismissive put-down of your experience and feelings, imo. It's a nice thread about nice people and I for one am envious of the OP (in a nice way,)

DuvetDay - seek out the best solicitor in town. Also a priest specialising in exorcisms and a get a private investigator onto your PILs and have them followed. Cover all the bases. Clearly there is some sort of second agenda going on. Are you sure they're not trying to sell your house out from under you and steal the money then run off to Monte Carlo with it?

Original poster
DuvetDayEveryday · 05/06/2016 21:29

Er, totally wasn't smug. Was more aling the lines of 'DH put the marmite in the fridge, shall I ltb' type threads.

OP posts:
Original poster
DuvetDayEveryday · 05/06/2016 21:29

*along.

OP posts:
Knackered46 · 05/06/2016 21:30

Nc and Duvet Flowers

Olddear · 05/06/2016 21:32

If ever anyone deserves a spa day it's you OP.

ArmfulOfRoses · 05/06/2016 21:58

Oh, I really didn't mean to upset anyone.
There was no intention to belittle the feelings of anyone with truly abusive family members Flowers

nctosaythis · 05/06/2016 22:04

Flowers no you did nothing wrong, I meant it when I said I was sorry and would like to take it back, I feel awful to have ruined what should have been a funny thread and I'll leave now. I'm sorry to hear about your parents and glad you have a nice family these days duvet, it's something to treasure x

wheresthel1ght · 05/06/2016 22:07

Op my FIL does things like this although he trades me for a roast dinner. Unfortunately he did decide on one such occasion to pull out certain bits of garden edging that was blocking up holes in the hedge that the dog could get through.

Am planning to swap him a roast chicken dinner in return for weeding the patio where dd's play house is this week

MIL is dead but she used to threaten to pile up and do my ironing she could have had keys for that job!