to ask a dog owner to put their dog on a lead?

[pinkfluffybunny]

We were at the beach today, not a packed beach, but a lot of families and children around. My DC are very wary of dogs, and began to panic a little when a huge pit bull terrier kind of dog (I couldn't tell if it was a pure breed, although looked like it) was running towards us, off the lead. I ask the elderly gentleman to put the dog on its lead until they were away from all the children, which he did immediately without hesitation, and was pleasant about it. My DC were then fine.
Afterwards my DH said I shouldn't have asked the man to put the dog on the lead, as he probably walks the dog everyday on the beach, and that's 'his place' to go!! I was shocked with him, especially as he knows how our DC react, and because of the type of dog it is.
AIBU to ask the dog owner to put the lead on?

Sorry, I read OP's posts, don't you've mention what kind of beach it was.
Some allow dogs off the lead, others don't.

So YABU if it was the first, and YANBU if the latter.

If I was on a beach that was clearly marked as allowing dogs and my dog wasn't showing any interest in your children I wouldn't put him on the lead despite you asking. I would call him over, and yes he would come and stay with me until we had passed you.

Don't mind people asking and I will put them on load if people ask, but I always keep my dog near to me with treats when little children are around as you don't know who is nervous.
My dog isn't overly happy with strangers approaching her and looks at me as if to say mum help, so sometimes I ask people not to approach my dog, works both ways. Just last week a toddler run up to my dog, his mum just let him, I said to him, so his mum could hear, you should always ask your mum or the dogs owner first as some dogs don't like being touched.

I'd never let my DCs run and jump at people, saying "they're just being friendly". I'd never say to people you really should have children, they really enrich your life. Some people like children, some people don't, same for dogs. The dog caused anxiety and the owner appreciated this and put it on a lead. I like dogs, and sounds like OP doesn't mind them, but I don't like suggestions that people really should like them and not be bothered about running dogs around small children. Everyone's different and dogs can hurt people!

I think big dogs should always be on a lead in public, unless they are so well trained they walk to heel.

It's selfish and arrogant to let your dog run around freely on a beach and approach people. No-one else knows his temperament. Many people are nervous of dogs, many more have phobias. You're spoiling the beach for others.

There's no need for a dog to be off-lead in public at all.

We've lived with animals for tens of thousands of years. Its not reasonable to expect public spaces to be animal free.
Its reasonable to expect dog owners to train, control and clean up after their dogs.

You asked politely and he responded politely -all very reasonable.

You do need to do something about kids scared of dogs though - have nieces/nephews who used to run away squealing when they saw a dog (and one cats too) - utterly ridiculous behaviour, and the message the dog gets from that is likely to be chase/play or at worse deep rooted down that's prey behaviour.

I'm with you OP (YANBU), but my DH would be with your DH. We have a German Shepherd who in DH's eyes can never do any wrong. He just doesn't get that some people do have a fear of dogs and the more you try to force them to "deal" with it the more uncomfortable they get and the more entrenched the fear gets.

I never take my dog off the lead when he's just with me, and it drives me insane when I see people in the woods just grinning stupidly at me with leads around their necks as their yippers come up to mine and the growling and pulling starts. I mustn't say what I feel like doing with those leads.

If your DCs do have that kind of fear, however, it might be worth trying to get that resolved. You and they can't avoid animals all their lives, and (if the comments here are anything to go by) you can't always rely on responsible dog owners to leash their dogs when they're in proximity to your DCs.