Another buggy in wheelchair space thread

[MsAR]

I got on the bus at the same time as a wheelchair user was queuing to do so. The driver told the wheelchair user there wasn't room, so I quickly checked and saw it was a buggy and a shopping trolley in the space.

The driver told the wheelchair user there would be another bus in a few minutes and they didn't seem to mind and weren't particularly insistent about getting on.

Was I being unreasonable to step in at this point and tell the driver that the person with the buggy should get off as wheelchairs have priority? He was pretty annoyed when I did, and kept repeating that there wasn't space.

I'm in London, and there are clear signs on every bus stating this is the case. I've often had to get off a bus when a wheelchair needed to get on and would never question if asked to do so.

Would it also be unreasonable for me to complain to TFL? I know I'm being a busy body but the driver's attitude really irritated me! I'd like the mumsnet jury to help me decide what to do, if anything.

It's been filled with mumtitled (apols to entitled dads) fucknuts.

Think of the poor toddlers who value their privacy when peeing.

Not the toddlers I have known.

Ah you must be talking about parentitlement, Bishop.

I borrowed this a while ago from dawndonna I think

Accessibility refers to the design of products, devices, services, or environments for people with disabilities not accessible to anyone that can't be bothered to use the ladies (or rarely) gents toilets if there's a queue

Personally I used my local Asda who were considerate enough to have a separate parent room with a raised changing station, basin AND loo completely separate from the disabled facilities.

Or I used my camel bladder so I didn't need to use a loo.

I don't know why so many people seem to aspire to utter helplessness.

That's nothing MrsDeVere.

I managed to perfect the foot hooked round the buggy under the door and have whilst having a wee whilst simultaneously juggling the children. Beat that!

Quite right too IcaMorgan

fanjo sod the toddlers! It's took me all bloody afternoon to get chance for a pee in peace today!

Toddlers are wee exhibitionists

I always felt pretty useless and am cringing at some of the posts on here, especially one earlier (I think it was Pag) saying who on earth would cry at having to get off a bus. I certainly would have done. I was never one of those people who seemed to sail around coping, I always felt that I was hanging on by the skin of my teeth and this stuff DID feel very difficult and I was constantly worrying I was doing it wrong and that I would be judged for (for example) putting down the baby on the toilet floor while I had a pee or on the bus floor while I folded the buggy.

BUT while it was difficult, it was doable. You didn't want to cause trouble by making the bus wait while you folded the buggy so you practised for ages at home to do it faster. You always had a mini change mat in the bag so you could do it anywhere, a fold up potty so the desperate toddler could manage without a proper toilet, etc etc, and of course you wouldn't go on a bus with a buggy you couldn't fold for whatever reason.
I think what's happened is that better provision has led to parents taking less responsibility. Obviously you are going to get situations where it tips over from hard to impossible but mostly they can be avoided and an awful lot of the situations in which parents end up thinking they have no alternative but to use disabled provision, could have been. We just seem to be sliding into a situation where parents take less and less responsibility for making their own lives easy. If being chucked off the bus in the freezing dark miles from home is your worst nightmare, fold it when you get on. None of this stuff is easy. But it is possible. Just like bumping a toddler in a buggy up a flight of steps is difficult but doing it with a heavy adult in a wheelchair is simply impossible.

Comparing a toddler to an adult with continence needs is breathtakingly insulting and disableist.

The NHS provide continence services and this includes some (not enough, I must add!) free pads. Funnily enough, they don't provide nappies to toddlers.

Ffs, I missed my chance when dd was a baby. The entitled disabled bastard round the corner has a bungalow with ramps, and a loo you can get a pram in. There was me struggling because I had a pram, and a step, if she'd only had a bit of compassion we could have swopped houses. Infact, because I was on my own and couldn't get the buggy upstairs and in my bathroom, I didn't piss for 4 years.

And it was so humiliating the time I had to ask to queue jump when toddler dd couldn't wait any longer, and all because some compassion lacking adult doesn't want to shit themselves in public.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel People didn't didn't ask why on earth someone would cry at having to get off the bus. They asked to a pp who changed her mind why on earth you'd be furious at a wheelchair user for choosing to be at that stop.

PurpleRain is quite right. You cant compare a toddler with an adult with incontinence problems. They aren't the same on any level. One of my issues is that when I put too much pressure on my body, either when I've physically done too much or had too much stress to deal with, my body reacts by turning my guts inside out and I need to be able to go at that precise moment.

That's why a wheelchair user should be able to use that toilet designed for them when needed. Because they need to be able to go at that precise moment more than I do.

It's ironic isn't it? That people saying the buggy spaces are designed for them don't understand or refuse to accept that wheelchair spaces etc are designed for wheelchair users.

I really don't get the 'this is called MUMSnet' type posts.

As somebody on a previous thread said, no one is bashing mums. They are simply pointing out that some mums (and dads) act way too entitled. That's an observation, and one that anyone is free to make.

Plus people with disabilities are also mums here

Very true fanjo I'm one of them.

Not that you'd know to look at me.

I actually can't wait until I've learnt to drive. So I can avoid all this ridiculous nonsense of public transport wars.

I'll only have to deal with neighbour instead who'll be pissed because I've installed a driveway and her hubs wont be able to park his giant workvan outside anymore and they'll need that extra space because she's had her umpteenth kid.

What I actually struggle to understand is posters and people in real life who say those few saved yards/that ramp they could use/not having to fold the buggy down/that loo when they'd just had their second baby etc made a huge difference, surely you should be able to understand that is what it is like for a wheelchair user 24/7? That these things make a HUGE difference several times a day for wheelchair users.

I don't think many do understand
They think their needs are comparable. And say it here.

When my lot were in nappies, I made a policy decision to shop at the supermarket which had the separate changing area and to boycott the one that had changing facilities in the accessible toilet, and in fact as a matter of habit I still avoid that one. Rather than leaving campaigning to the disabled, how about parents boycotting the supermarkets with such poor arrangements and telling them precisely why they're doing it?

Doug Paulley's case will be heard 15th June.

Here we go. Wish me luck. Waiting for a bus in my chair and a huge tank buggy has arrived. I was here first, who will get on?
(Buses every 30 min)

Good luck BishopBrennansArse

Hope you didn't get told you can just fold your chair!

78kg Powerchair with huge batteries. No foldy

Start a conversation with them Bishop. Mention that you hope the bus isn't too busy as it's a bugger to get the chair up the isle. I'd make sure they couldn't pretend not to see me. Yup, people will pretend not to notice a hunting great mobility aid, if it means getting to a good spot first.