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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think schoolchildren should not be turned loose in a rose garden

137 replies

SunRoute · 04/06/2016 07:00

I was enjoying the peace in my local park and had just got DS to sleep in his pram. A group of around 30 kids started charging around the rose garden, running along the paths screeching and chasing each other Angry The teachers just sat by the fountain and did nothing! Didn't even tell them to keep the noise down and of course DS woke up when a bunch of them jostled past his pram Angry

It was the same at the zoo and Sealife centre recently, groups of noisy shrieking school kids pushing in front of everyone, shoving each other, getting in the way and generally being a nuisance.

AIBU to think kids on school trips should be kept under control, not left to run wild?

OP posts:
BeauGlacons · 05/06/2016 06:43

Was that the English children or the French children though superflyinghigb Wink

The rose garden at our local park was enclosed and there were no signs about it being a peaceful area. I can quite understand why teachers would have let five year olds let off steam there. They'd have easily kept tabs on the dc whilst letting them have an independent run about.

Don't get me on the subject of scooters in shopping centres and supermarkets. Why?

dizzyfucker · 05/06/2016 06:45

I have never done this before I find it very patronising but...Biscuit

PoppieD · 05/06/2016 07:02

I've now got the image of the haughty flowers from Alice in Wonderland in my head being all very precious 'not in our garden!'- I'm assuming OP that you and your of course always silent baby never frequent any other parks or commons at all as they are only for screaming noise makers then?..

PoppieD · 05/06/2016 07:03

And just because I like Disney..

To think schoolchildren should not be turned loose in a rose garden
SunRoute · 05/06/2016 07:19

Where did I say the rose garden should be SILENT? Confused

My baby was grizzling quietly, on and off, until he fell asleep. If he'd been screaming I would have taken him elsewhere.

OP posts:
VioletBam · 05/06/2016 07:28

Dacre what if they did? It's a PARK! The presence of a certain type of flower doesn't make it a place which needs to be quiet!

Or have I missed an unwritten rule about rose gardens?

OP....it's a PARK. You know they're for everyone right? Including loud kids?

happy2bhomely · 05/06/2016 07:46

I am constantly surprised by the way children are allowed to behave in public. I have put a huge amount of effort into teaching mine how to behave in public, or at other people's homes. I appreciate that they are just my rules though, and don't expect other people to have the same rules as me. As frustrating as it is, your only option is to remove yourself from the situation, which I do frequently.

Below is a list of 'rules' that I have for my children that some of my friends and family don't agree with. To me, they are common sense.

Children should sit nicely and quietly when out in a cafe or restaurant. If they don't, they should be removed.

Children should not run on pavements and paths, if other people are using them.

Children should sit nicely and quietly on public transport, sometimes sharing seats or standing when it is busy. They should not use handrails to practise gymnastics and pull ups!

Children should not walk on garden walls.

Children should use play equipment with consideration for other children, especially those smaller than them.

Children should be closely supervised when helping themselves at 'serve yourself' places!

Children should say please and thank you. If they are 'too shy' then they can go without until they find their voices.

Children should sit still and quietly in waiting rooms.

Children should not shriek and scream in the garden. If they do, they are all called in. I don't care who did what.

Of course, to get children to do these things. they need to be reminded consistently with consequences. They also need the opportunity to blow off steam regularly in suitable places.

YANBU. A rose garden is not a suitable place, regardless of whether your baby was sleeping or not.

MerchantofVenice · 05/06/2016 07:52

happy2b whilst I don't really disagree with any of your points (except perhaps "I don't care who did what" - how annoying was that adult attitude when you were a kid?), I do find this sort of holier-than-thou tone quite nauseating. Bet your kids can be as lively and joyous as the next person's given the chance.

KERALA1 · 05/06/2016 07:56

Agree with happys rules - those shrugging "what can you do" type parents get right on my nerves. You're the parent it's your job to socialise them no it's not fun yes it's necessary.

we have use of a lovely outdoor pool, not massive but big enough. About one fifth was marked out as a lane for adult swimmers kids had rest of pool to play. I was Hmm when several of 9 year old came into the adult bit. Parents said nothing (I did though was doing my lengths sod off!)

honkinghaddock · 05/06/2016 07:57

Happy2b - You are very lucky that your children were able to learn those things. If you had different children that might not have been possible.

Lighteningirll · 05/06/2016 07:59

It's not a PARK though is it. It's an area of a park, specifically designed for roses which are highly scented, meaning it's usually more of a sensory area and usually quieter, beloved by the elderly, the blind and otherwise disabled, beloved by mums with small babies or mums with dc who enjoy a bit of quiet time. The level of entitlement on this thread is staggering. I adore my dc but don't expected them and their class en mass to be allowed to charge around absolutely everywhere. It's very reasonable for them to use the open spaces or the playground and leave the rose gardens for those who wish for quieter enjoyment.

happy2bhomely · 05/06/2016 08:00

Of course they can be! I've got 5. I didn't mean to come across as holier than thou, BlushI was just trying to point out to op that we can only control our own children, or at least try to. If we don't like how other people manage theirs, there is not much we can do about it! It's part of living together. We all have different approaches, (and different children) and I just do what is right for me and mine.

JemimaHighway · 05/06/2016 08:02

On reading the title, I thought this thread was going to be a mum complaining about their kids getting hurt by a thorn from a rose 😝

OP YABU and precious.

Lighteningirll · 05/06/2016 08:02

Happy2b fabulous post btw my dc were boughtup with very similar rules.

honkinghaddock · 05/06/2016 08:04

And I do what is best for mine which is allowing him in places he loves even though he will never understand social rules.

kitkat1968 · 05/06/2016 08:09

Babies, even tiny sixweekers ste usually enthralled by older children.

sandgrown · 05/06/2016 08:13

I think the OP may live near me. This area is a magnet for school trips but it is only for a couple of months towards the end of term and school trips are so exciting when you are young!

happy2bhomely · 05/06/2016 08:15

Honking I gather your child has additional needs that means he will never understand social rules. If so, then that is completely different. And I am raising my children to be understanding of that too. So they know not to stare at the adult stimming in Sainsburys, or they are patient with the little boy who doesn't get the idea of sharing the ball, etc.

My children understand that my behaviour expectations are just for them and other children have different rules. It makes my life harder, but that is my problem, not anyone else's.

BeauGlacons · 05/06/2016 08:17

I'd add to your list Happy2Be.

No shoes/feet on seats.

I don't mind seeing children not sitting particularly nicely providing the parents/carers/minders correct them. What annoys me very much is when the people who should be supervising seem oblivious.

I think the rose garden one is difficult though because every Rose Garden will have a different vibe. I don't think the one in our local park is particularly regarded as quiet and peaceful place and I don't think it would be unreasonable to allow 30 reception aged children to let off steam in it - providing it wasn't being used for an event and sometimes our is closed off for a party for the simple fact that it can be closed off.

Just5minswithDacre · 05/06/2016 08:19

Violet a rose garden is not for running and screaming in.

Happy I'm 100% with you.

VioletBam · 05/06/2016 08:40

Just5 why not? Genuinely want to know.

VioletBam · 05/06/2016 08:43

Lightening that may be true of SOME rose gardens but it's certainly not true of our local one. It's not a designated "sensory garden" which is a very specific thing.

If OP had asked was it out of order for DC to run screaming through a SENSORY garden the I would say yes.

But why shouldn't chldren enjoy the roses and the paths? And make noise?

And I am NOT one of those parents who lets her DC make noise everywhere and climb on furniture in restaurants.

Just5minswithDacre · 05/06/2016 08:43

Tradition, convention, it's the place where people go to be quieter. People should be allowed somewhere like that. It's usually a small portion of a much larger park.

VioletBam · 05/06/2016 08:45

Dacre well I must have missed the memo.

I've never heard of any such tradition.

In my local park, the rose garden is used and enjoyed by everyone. It's part of the general park with paths winding around the bushes. Children always play there...they like the arches.

Just5minswithDacre · 05/06/2016 08:45

It's like running screaming through a library.

The rose garden is somewhere you would take an octagenarian or sleeping baby in expectation of calm.