To be devastated that DS6 has declared himself too grown up...

[Welshmaenad]

...for the head louse combing song?

And WIBU to share it and ask you to sing it with your DC so the legend lives on?

DS has long hair, always has, and Friday night is always the night we wash/condition and comb his hair (any more often with the washing and his hair gets brittle).

Since time immemorial we have sung The Head Louse Combing Song, partly to soothe him, partly to drown his bloodcurdling screams so the neighbours don't call social services. Tonight he turned to me in the shower and said "Mum. I'm a big boy now. You don't need to sing anymore".

I am crushed. So here in all its glory is the Head Louse Combing Song, copyright free, for your family use and enjoyment. It is set to the tune of Camptown Races, as all good songs should be.

Comb those head lice out* your hair
Doo-dah! Doo-dah!
'Cause we do not want them there!
Doo-doo-doo-doo-dah-day.

Rinse them down the draaaaaaiiiin!
Before we go insaaaaaaaaane!!
Comb those head lice out your hair
Doo-doo-doo-doo-dah-day!!!

In moments of extreme crisis you may break form and trill:

This is what I have to do
If you don't want licey-poos!

and then return to the song.

• I know 'out of' would be grammatically preferable but it doesn't scan, and sacrifices had to be made for art.

Enjoy. I'm sobbing into my gin over the death of a childhood.

These are so lovely.

I love 'my head is on your bottom'

DD used to have constipation when she was wee so this was a song that we made up

Mum does a poo, poo, poo
I need one too, too, too
It's going down the loo, loo, loo
Then I flush it too, too, too

I'm not allowed in the bathroom when she showers anymore

I'm imagining a thread in about 20 years on time on here. "Any one else have parents that made up weird songs about bodily functions and insisted on singing them until we were thirteen?"

I shall point my DCs in this direction.

Name had a little poo little poo little poo
Name had a little poo not white as snow
Every where that Name went Name went Name went
Every where that Name went Name went Name went
That poo was sure to gooo

(tune of Mary had a little lamb) until we grab her to change the nappy

Also the word banana can be used to a variety of soundtracks and classical songs

indiana jones - banananaaa bananaaa banananaaa ba na na na na etc
Imperial march - ba na na ba na na ba na na
beethoven - ba na na naaaaa ba na na naaaaa
muppetts - ba na ba na ba na na na na

etc

We have a bath time song. It already makes DS kick and giggle!

Splish splosh splash
He's getting in the bath
Splishy sploshy splash
He's going to have a bath

Spliiiish.... Splooooosh.... Spliiiish.... Sploooosh.... SPLASH!

To the tune of Zoom zoom to the moon.

It's my way of indoctrinating the boy to pronounce 'bath' in my correct northern way to rhyme with splash, as opposed to his father's incorrect shandy-drinking southern way

He's going to want me to stop singing it one day, isn't he

I offer tooth brushing song

Weeeeee don't want no cavities
So we brush our teeth every day
Weeeeeee don't want no cavities
So we brush them the DD wayyyyy

Side to side, up and down
So we can smile
And not frown

Ohhhh, how we love to brush our teeth!

Weeeee don't want no cavities
So you and me
Brush our teeth every daqaaayyyyy

I know I have a double negative in there but it does the job

Do you mean to say that DS will want to stop one day....?
Nooooooooooooo!

Ds and I have a favourite song we sing together as we walk to school:

I'm a ham sandwich, you're a cheese sandwich
and we both like sandwiches!
I'm a ham sandwich, you're a cheese sandwich
and we both like sandwiches!

(we like to mix it up a bit and think of different things to go in sandwiches - almost invariably ending up with poo )

It's to the tune of the toothbrush song

We also had the good morning song when ds was quite young, and remembering his little smiley beaming face as he stood in his cot ready to get up makes my tummy flip!

Good morning, good morning!
You slept the whole night through,
Good morning, good morning to youuuuu!

Sung like this

Momamum I am going to steal yours, I am looking after a Biscuit Monster at the moment and think it might help as he is most reluctant to tidy up!

We used to have the eyedrop song, for when ds had an eye infection and had to have eyedrops. It encouraged him to blink when the drops went in.

To the tune of 'Lily the Pink'

So.... we'll... drink-a-drink-a-drink
To Lily the pink, the pink, the pink
The saviour of the human ra-a-ace.
For she invented medicinal EYE DROPS
Most efficacious in every case.

We also had a bus charming song which went

Come along bus
Come along bus
Come along bus don't make a fuss
Come along bus
Come along bus
Come along bus don't make a fuss, but pick up us!

I still sing it sometimes now, even though ds is 15

This might be a bit creepy but to the tune of Dr Hook "A Little Bit More" and dedicated to whoever is doing a surprise poo during a nappy change:

When I've done a poo, a great big poo
And I'm laying flat out on the floor
When you think I've poo-ooed all I can
I'm gonna poo just a little bit more

This may out me but we play a game sometimes called Postman Pat's Cat.

The person who's go it it sings 'postman, postman pat, can you guess what's in his cat?'

Then everyone guesses what Jess has eaten and says 'is it a lion' etc and if not, the quizzer says 'nooo' but must be singsong like 'no-hooo' etc.

Been playing it for about 11 years with the DC and they show no sign of being relegated yet!