To be devastated that DS6 has declared himself too grown up...

[Welshmaenad]

...for the head louse combing song?

And WIBU to share it and ask you to sing it with your DC so the legend lives on?

DS has long hair, always has, and Friday night is always the night we wash/condition and comb his hair (any more often with the washing and his hair gets brittle).

Since time immemorial we have sung The Head Louse Combing Song, partly to soothe him, partly to drown his bloodcurdling screams so the neighbours don't call social services. Tonight he turned to me in the shower and said "Mum. I'm a big boy now. You don't need to sing anymore".

I am crushed. So here in all its glory is the Head Louse Combing Song, copyright free, for your family use and enjoyment. It is set to the tune of Camptown Races, as all good songs should be.

Comb those head lice out* your hair
Doo-dah! Doo-dah!
'Cause we do not want them there!
Doo-doo-doo-doo-dah-day.

Rinse them down the draaaaaaiiiin!
Before we go insaaaaaaaaane!!
Comb those head lice out your hair
Doo-doo-doo-doo-dah-day!!!

In moments of extreme crisis you may break form and trill:

This is what I have to do
If you don't want licey-poos!

and then return to the song.

• I know 'out of' would be grammatically preferable but it doesn't scan, and sacrifices had to be made for art.

Enjoy. I'm sobbing into my gin over the death of a childhood.

To the tune of Reo Speedwagon "Can't Stop This Feeling Anymore" after a long day of DS tantruming (once he was in bed)

And I can't stop this crying anymore
I've forgotten what I started crying for!
I've just rubbed shit into the floor
And will throw toys against the door, forever

'Cause I can't stop this crying anymore
I've forgotten what I started crying for!
And if I have to stomp along the floor
Come crashing through the door
Mummy, I can't stop this crying anymore.....

Oh god, all our songs are about poop!
To the tune of whinnie the pooh : doing a poo, doing a poo, pushing down hard and following through!

And the second one ( blush) the original song is
Clickedy clack, clickedy clack, what's that coming down the track? FREIGT TRAIN! Freight trains coming down the track.

Now is sung as.. Puttidy putt, puttidy putt, what's that coming out my butt? POOPY!! Poopys coming out my butt!

In an overtly enthusiastic southern american, country singer style:

Child-name did a wee wee in the toilet
Ohh sugarlumps!
He also did a poo poo in the toilet
Ohh sugarlumps!
He did it in the toilet like a big boy
Not in his potty oorrr hiiiis paaaaaayyyynts

The sugarlumps bit in particular has them in hysterics and never gets old....so far....

Loving these!

We have the toothbrush song, to the tune of Row Row Row your boat...

Brush brush brush your teeth
'Til they're nice and clean.
If you don't brush them well enough
They'll go all slimey and green.

Brush brush brush your teeth
til they're shiny white.
If you don't brush them long enough
You're not doing it right.

(Alternative last two lines, sung only in my head-
Just let me brush your flipping teeth
They're covered in sugary shite)

oh I forgot we occasionally have 'Shower time' instead of 'Hammer time'.

DH has tried to ban me from doing that one though as it makes the DC go a bit wild...

We had

Come on Wee Wee come on now.
Don't come in the bed

Which can be adapted so we also had

Come on poo poo come on now,
Don't come in the car.

It has to be sung twice.

This is a song for cold days:

Hot orange, hot orange, hot, hot, hot
Some tea for mummy in the tea pot
Some for nana she'll be quite cold too
So give me some hot orange, do, do, do!

Hot orange is orange squash made with hot water (from the kettle, not the hot tap).

Oh I love these... I feel my DS was a deprived child..I just made him sit still and be de loused.

I do sing when I wake him up in the morning

If you happen to see the most beautiful boy in the world
Tell him I love him etc

then get his teddys to tell him I love him, need him etc.

Hang on. Genuine question because I haven't reached the school stage yet...we have to comb for nits every week? Not just when we get a letter telling us they are rife?

Sadly stillrocking they are always rife. I dry comb every other day and treat if I see anything but we do a condition and comb once a week.

This is awesome.
I have screen shot it and will save for future use!! Dd starts school in September and has long bum length thick hair so I'm certain we will be getting it a lot!!

I'm no longer allowed to sing the bum crack song either 🙁:

"Don't put your fingers in your bum crack
Don't put your toothbrush down the loo
Don't walk downstairs with your full potty
That's just a silly thing to do."

You'd think these things would go without saying/ singing. But some weeks there are more verses.

We do the nappy song to the tune of Frere Jacques

Change your nappy, change your nappy
Carefully, carefully
Throw it in the dustbin, throw it in the dustbin
Now you're clean, nice and clean

It has actions and everything.

If she has any nappy rash she gets a blast of "METANIUM FINGER! She's the girl with the golden bum..."

Our bedtime song to the tune of 'London's Burning'

Child's name is tired (x2)
Get the teddy (x2)
Milk, Milk (x2)
Off to bed now (x2)
Sleepy bo bos (x2)

I absolutely love all of these.

I'm just going to have to have another baby aren't I?

Our headlouse song, to the tune of the chorus of 'Just the way you are tonight'

Beetles
Living in your hair
Safe behind your ears
Clinging very tightly 'cos they Looooove you!
Beetles in your hair tonight.

I have lots of songs

Snackity d00-dah

The 'Need a Wee' song

The vest on the chest song

And many more.

I still sing them now, even though the DC are 16 and 13. They humour me!

At bedtime, when it was time to go upstairs, we had {ahem}

I'm going to put my head on your bottom and then PUSH you up the stairs
I'm going to put my head on your bottom and then PUSH you up the stairs
I'm going to put my head on your bottom and then PUSH you up the stairs
And that's what I'm going to do
Oh, my head is on your BOTTOM
Oh, my head is on your BOTTOM
Oh, my head is on your BOTTOM
And now you're up the stairs.

Sun to the tune of John Brown's Body and, of course, accompanied by pushing giggling toddlers up the stairs by means of my head on their bottoms.

They are in their mid twenties now and claim not to remember this song.

But I do.

To the tune of The Imperial March from Star Wars & popular with 4 year old DD

Brush brush brush
brush your teeth brush your teeth
Brush brush brush
brush your teeth brush your teeth
Cleaning the teeth that are AT THE FRONT
the teeth that are AT THE BACK
the teeth up above and down below
Cleaning the teeth that are AT THE FRONT
the teeth that are AT THE BACK
the teeth up above and down below

etc ad nauseam or at least until you hit 2 minutes-ish
I will miss it when she is too old

Im going to adopt your song with 13 year old dd. Unfortunately for me the small children at karate love her and she gets dove on by numerous under 7s each weekend resulting in nitty gritty masacre combing

We had a very colicky DC1 whose favourite time of the night was 3am. Whoever's turn it was used to sing, to the tune of "Tubthumper":

I go to sleep but I wake up again,
You ain't never gonna put me down.

Or when dressing tiny tots, the cheesy 70's song:

Hands up, baby hands up!
give me your heart gimme gimme your heart...(repeat 20 times)

I love the Imperial March toothbrushing song ( Brush those teeth that are AT THE BACK! )

Loving all these

Mine, at the end of a play date at mine, all the toys out of their boxes, Lego everywhere, room in chaos, and the last 15mns before child pickup time, to the tune of Frere Jacque...

Are you helping,
Are you helping,
All the girls,
All the boys?
Let us all be helpers,
Put away the playthings,
Biscuit time!
No
More
Toys...

And then the biscuit Tin was produced.

Worked like a dream every time. Greedy sods

To the tune of the Shaun The Sheep theme:

They're X's feet, they're X's feet
The left one smells of cheese, the right one smells of meat
The smell like poo
Oh yes they do!
Ohhhhh nothing smells like X's feet

It helps if you have the same accent as Vic Reeves.

There are some VERY good songs here. I salute you.

Bad Poo Rising - Creedence Clearwater's little known ode to nighttime nappy changes helped the "wee small" hours just fly by...