am i a snob ?

[mrsfuzzy]

just because i'm a home owner, like all types of culture, hate junk food, don't smoke, but i don't go telling all and sundry, how to live or how my because i like culture and national trust stuff , not everyones cup of tea but that's fine, family not exactly rolling in money and live within our means - not always easy, i chat to anyone and most people would say i'm happy to help out with baby sitting, pet sitting etc, but my neighbour reckons i'm a snob because i listen to jazz and she has heard in my garden. i don't play my radio very loud at the best of times.
she is quite miserable and complains to everyone who will listen about life, weather immigrates the lot. not bothered if i am a snob, rather be happy than not.

[Ilovewillow]

Brig a snob is a state of mind whereby you look down on others - nothing to do with tastes in music shopping clothing etc. She needs to get a grip!!

[GreatFuckability]

yeah, see, i think you do in fact think yourself a little bit better than her in your tastes. If you didn't, you wouldn't feel the need to tell us all about the things you like/dont like when they are irrelevant to your OP.

[Onlyicanclean10]

I don't know if you are or not op but would quite like to live the other side of you both to see the show.

Sounds like hyacinth bucket and Hilda Ogden.

[mrsfuzzy]

great i don't give a toss about neighbour, i don't want her picking on me though, i've only said what i like doing because op's have asked.
thanks to everyone for their input it's good to get a range of views.
can't please everyone, live and let life.

[MythicalCreature]

Ins't the neighbour showing "inverted snobbery"?

It's certainly an attitude DH grew up round - sort of crab pot idea in Terry Pratchett books - having ideas above your station - not for the likes of us - type thing.

[GabsAlot]

your music taste doesnt make u a snob shes got the wrong word-she just sounds like a moany old woman with no life

[MarianneSolong]

I think if you really like culture, you take slightly more care when expressing yourself in writing.

Probably I'm the snob. I think internet forums are places where people are quite informal. Also lots of people have had negative experiences in school and college which means that they don't form proper grammatical sentences - but they're still terrifically bright.

But my instinctive reaction is to think that while your neighbour might think playing jazz rather than Radio 1 or 2 makes you seem a bit 'superior', for me culture is very much about how you express yourself in speech and in writing.

And your post sounds a bit sloppy.

(Although you might be a good neighbour and a nice person.)

[RobinsAreTerritorialFuckers]

I don't think she is 'picking' on you just because she doesn't want to hear your music in her garden. Obviously it is louder than you think.

[JessieMcJessie]

Hi katemiddletonsnudeheels - you did spell hoi polloi correctly but I think you may have got the meaning mixed up - hoi polloi means "the common people" not the upper crust/social elite. I might have misunderstood your point though.

www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/hoi-polloi

OP I don't think you are a snob but perhaps rethink how you express some things - for example, my reading of your OP is you would not describe things like soap operas, radio1, social media, tabloid newspapers as "culture" - but they are "culture". What you mean, I think, is that you are into more highbrow things like theatre and art galleries, but by saying nothing else is "culture" that comes across negatively. You're expressing your likes and dislikes by comparing them to things that you actively dislike (fast food, Radio 1). The thing is, if that is coming across in some way to your neighbour then you would seema bit of a snob, whereas if you were happy to watch both Eastenders and Mary Beard, or eat both quinoa and Maccy D's then she might not feel defensive.

To give you an example: my friendship group and I went to Cambridge. One is a very academic type, another now writes chick lit novels. The academic one has said openly of the chick litter (though not to her face) "I wouldn't read that trash" whereas most of us enjoy both our chick lit friend's work AND talking to the academic one about her subject. The academic one is definitely a snob. The rest of us would be sad to be thought of as snobs just because we're also comfortable in academic circles.

That said, if all you've done is listen to a bit of Jazz in the garden then your neighbour's a judgmental besom who needs to wind her neck in. I hope that seeing you in Lidl taught her that she has got you all wrong.

[DontBuyANewMumCashmere]

I recently found out one of my former colleagues (who had never worked directly with me, and whose team I have never been on!) described me as 'a bit snobby' to another one, with whom I'm very much still in contact, who told me she agreed I was but liked me nonetheless: "She is, but she knows she is, and she's one of my best mates!!"
I have come to the conclusion that these people don't know what snobby means.

Does this make me snobby?!

[DerelictMyBalls]

YABU for listening to jazz.

It shouldn't be allowed.

I hope you are ashamed of yourself.

[user1464519881]

The post is very unusual. Very few people write like that so that is probably the most revealing thing of all!

[sugarapplelane]

Why are you a snob for liking jazz? I think your neighbour sounds a bit ignorant if you ask me.

People don't like what they don't know - hence the ignorance. She obvious thinks that jazz is a bit of a high-brow thing when it isn't at all, it's just a genre of music which isn't as well listen to as pop.

I didn't find your initial post at all condescending so goodness knows what some of the others are on...

To all you grammar police out there - bye bye, you're neither wanted nor needed on this thread and your posts are not helpful.

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

I'm sensing that you don't like your neighbour?

Just try to remain on civil terms with her as there's nothing worse than falling out with a neighbour.

[DryIce]

Not snobby for listening to jazz.

Initial post sounds somewhat snobby, as I read it the reason you think your neighbour thinks you're snobby (if you can keep up with that sentence!) is because you listen to jazz.

But you're gone on to tell us about your home ownership, non-smoking, love of culture (culture mentioned twice!)... seemingly just to impress upon us your general higher class of interests?

[GoudyStout]

Mrs DeVere

Don't know what I am supposed to do about that

You could show solidarity with her by standing in your pants and screeching back at her?

[Jofo]

OP, if you're happy with who you are, what you believe in and how you conduct yourself, why post this in the first place? You sound like you are trying to justify yourself and for no good reason.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

You're not the snob, she is. Inverse snob in her case. She thinks you think you're better than her, when in fact she just thinks that.

My sister came up against that quite a lot with her exH's family - she found it a combination of amusing, upsetting and really fucking exasperating that they thought she was a snob, especially as she's one of those people who really tries to fit in with everyone and NOT in a condescending manner!

Whichever way, it's her issue, not yours, and no you're not a snob for liking jazz. That's just bizarre.

[purplebud]

No you are not a snob, it can feel difficult if you are surrounded by people with different interests to you. Also people have a habit of labelling others on the flimsiest of evidence.

[mrsfuzzy]

what's with the grammar posts ? i speak as i find, so some of you can shove the grammar up your perfumed backsides.
signing off now, like the pants idea though, might try that , but that will be another post perhaps, byeee !

[Kitsa]

MarianneSolong

for me culture is very much about how you express yourself in speech and in writing.

That is not what culture is, or what being cultured is.
You sound pretty snobby to me.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

Just read back and found unexpsoc's posts - yes, that's what my sister came up against, obviously! She didn't quite fit into their "norms" and therefore was "other" and their automatic assumption was that "other = better than us => she's therefore a snob".

Poor sis - so far from being a snob! :(