am i a snob ?

[mrsfuzzy]

just because i'm a home owner, like all types of culture, hate junk food, don't smoke, but i don't go telling all and sundry, how to live or how my because i like culture and national trust stuff , not everyones cup of tea but that's fine, family not exactly rolling in money and live within our means - not always easy, i chat to anyone and most people would say i'm happy to help out with baby sitting, pet sitting etc, but my neighbour reckons i'm a snob because i listen to jazz and she has heard in my garden. i don't play my radio very loud at the best of times.
she is quite miserable and complains to everyone who will listen about life, weather immigrates the lot. not bothered if i am a snob, rather be happy than not.

[OnGoldenPond]

Barbara I keep losing connection and double posting. First time someone has snuck in between the double posts - well done!

[PacificDogwod]

One person's 'snob' is another person's discerning bonviveur

By that definition I'd suggest embracing your inner snob and leaving your neighbour to it

[Verbena37]

You don't sound snobby at all and your OP doesn't sound condescending to me either.
Some people are just judgemental.

Years ago when I was a civil servant, there was a new girl in the office, who was a few years younger than me. She took an instant dislike to me and started bullying me in front of everyone. I found out it was because she thought I was posh because of my accent, which was quite different from the local dialect.

People can be just plain mean and ignorant.....and jealousy factors in there as well. Perhaps your neighbour feels you've got so much more than her and she is just using jazz as a way of making you feel bad. She has choices just like anybody else. Just ignore her.

[Abraid2]

You're fine, OP.

[Baileysagain]

Your neighbour probably perceives you to be a snob because you are different to her and she feels inferior. It's her problem though, not yours.

[dizzytomato]

Jazz is snob music ! She clearly knows nothing about Jazz! '"thought waitrose was more your line!" She sounds like she has a chip on her shoulder!

[TheKingArrives]

Demented I'm puzzled by how you think OP sounds condescending? someone's got a huge chip on their shoulder and its not the OP.

[bloosn]

Jazz is just music. Personally I think it's great live, but wouldn't listen on the radio to it...does that make ME a snob? Nope..just as you're not either

[RobinsAreTerritorialFuckers]

I think your neighbour is being a bit mean.

But I wonder if you make her feel judged? When you say you like 'all types of culture,' what do you actually mean? It's a bit Hyacinth Bucket, isn't it?

Can you not have a friendly conversation with her about what she likes to listen to? If she really hates jazz, and if it is louder than you think, it seems unfair to impose it on her.

[CoraPirbright]

The accusation of snobbery is such a weird thing, isn't it?! I always assumed it was to do with someone looking down on other people and making it obvious that they think they are "better" than them from a class point of view. Nowadays, I think that if you like something that is perceived to be more unusual or possibly academic or "high-brow" then you are a snob apparently! Nothing at all to do with your attitude towards other people. My dd got accused of being a snob the other day as she used the word 'pedantic'.

Anyway, OP - you are not being unreasonable. Your neighbour is an arse and she is the one with the problem. And the comment about Lidl/Waitrose - WTF? Its not as if you shout over her fence "oi, prole, listen to this jazz - you are far too lower class to appreciate this". Perhaps next time, you could whisper to her "inverted snobbery - its just as bad you know".

[MurphysChild]

You sound like a normal person, she sounds like a nut job. Ignore.

[shovetheholly]

I have had several people who assumed I was a snob because I have a southern accent yet I live in the north. (My southern accent is really esturine/cockney though - so hardly cut glass vowels worthy of Her Majesty or anything). I'm not talking about people who know me here - I'm talking about randoms in the street who pipe up with some kind of remark. I've actually been poorer than the vast majority of people in my life, so they couldn't be any more wrong, really. It's just prejudice.

Some people have a chip on their shoulder about things - it's a kind of xenophobia that regards anyone who comes from outside a 50 mile radius of their home as a foreigner, and a personal sense of insecurity that they are 'looked down on' by others who think that liking jazz, national trust homes and culture makes them better than others (and unfortunately, there are such people too, which is equally wrong).

[GreatFuckability]

how does your neighbour know what you eat etc? or is this purely down the jazz music? if, it is down to the music, why do you list the other stuff?

[YorkieDorkie]

There's nothing wrong with liking nice things OP but then one man's trash is another's treasure etc. I don't exactly get called a "snob" but I do stand out because of my accent and it's often pointed out. I hate that it draws attention because I don't see myself as "better" because of the way I talk - it's actually because neither of my parents are from Yorkshire so I have a sort of RP with some northern dialect. I think some can assume that you look down on them because of perceived differences but that couldn't be further from the truth!

[nobilityobliges]

You like "all types of culture"?? Wow. What does that even mean?

[mrsfuzzy]

great i don't discuss my daily activities with everyone esp. the nutty neighbour, i was merely saying i don't think what i do with my family is high brow, the original comment was more refering to the music [not loud - i checked with other neighbour - she did not hear it, but nn has decided to judge - her problem not mine- as most posters seem to be saying, i don't take the moral high ground with anyone, we are all equal and i don't do the class thing.

[unexpsoc]

You fit into the working class category of snob, ie

"I have been told all my life that popular culture is everything because my life is shit and popular culture blares out having to accept that and if you don't like popular culture exclusively then does that mean your life isn't shit and if your life isn't shit then you have got something more than me and that makes me a little bit afraid of you and therefore you are a snob".

Said inside your subconscious without punctuation very very quickly.

Hope that helps.

[mrsfuzzy]

noblity culture ? various types of music, history, theatre etc. if you are referring to people i get on with most people, and those who don't like me well, i'm o.k with that,

[mrsfuzzy]

unex ????

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

Well you obviously care very much what your neighbour thinks of you. I suspect you would like to be thought of as a snob because many people mistakenly feel this is some sort of compliment. It isn't.

You don't sound like a snob but you do sound overly pleased with yourself as if your choices are somehow superior and comment-worthy. They aren't.

Do what you want to do, don't hurt anybody else while you're doing them if at all possible. That's all you need to do.

[HatieKokpins]

I think snobs usually have better grammar, tbh. Like moi.

[unexpsoc]

Mrsfuzzy I am 3rd Generation Chav (in fact, I am chav royalty but that is another matter). Just explaining how it works for a lot of people who believe themselves to be working class or under class. Basically, if you step outside their pre-determined norms you make them uncomfortable and they decide you are trying to be something you are not - particularly if you live in "their" area. Hence you become the snob whilst they completely miss the point that they are in fact MUCH closer to the definition of being a snob.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

Snobbishness has nothing to do with literacy, Hatie. That 'Like moi' at the end of your sentence though makes me think of Del-boy...

[unexpsoc]

"I think snobs usually have better grammar, tbh. Like moi."

Usually, snobs have better grammar, I honestly believe. - Fixed it for you.

[RobinsAreTerritorialFuckers]

I think that was kinda her point, lying?