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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move house one week after giving birth?

70 replies

chellem1 · 02/06/2016 15:27

We accepted an offer on our house back in February and thought we would have moved well before now. The buyer has dragged his feet, it's all of a sudden June and we arranged completion date for one week before my due date as we were very eager to be in the new house with the new baby. Found out this week that I'm going to be induced two weeks early, in just over a week's time. I was induced for my DD as well, and had her on the second day, followed by a 2-night stay (if that has any bearing).

We're moving about 60 miles away. We're paying for movers to come in and pack everything up for us, and DD will be at nursery that day.

Is this totally crazy? Has anyone got experience/tips? Should I be doing anything now, the week before I go in? Thanks!

OP posts:
Original poster
chellem1 · 02/06/2016 23:12

Still speak the language at least, fake!

Yeah, I suppose I could still be in hospital (which eliminates the whole "getting in the way" thing)!

Trying to plan for the worst and hope for the best. Will definitely be taking some of these tips on board, thank you!

OP posts:
RegentsParkWolf · 02/06/2016 23:23

We moved a week before DS2 was due - sometimes it just happens like that. As it turned out he was horrendously late which gave me a bit more time. The people we bought the house from took pity on us and painted all the bedrooms before they moved so we would have less to do! Don't remember it being too awful. The next time we moved all three of my DCs had chickenpox - that was worse!

mumoseven · 02/06/2016 23:24

We moved house when dc6 was 13 days old. I have a vivid memory of trying to put bunk beds together whilst breastfeeding every 20 mins and crying at my stupid life.

toobreathless · 02/06/2016 23:24

We moved house on my due date (second baby) DD2 arrrived after a 40 minute Labour in an ambulance the next day.

Our issues were practical ones DH banged on our neighbours door to ask if they would sit with DD1 who was in bed while we went to hospital.

Unpacking and things was FINE but we are forces and have moved umpteen times and we had family helping.

ExpandingRoundTheMiddle · 02/06/2016 23:26

I think the hotel idea is a good one. Your DH and older child could join you there for the first night or two until DH has unpacked the house.

LifeBeginsNow · 02/06/2016 23:38

I'm in a similar position. We are just putting everything in place to move 5 days before my due date. This is my first baby, we are changing county and my husband works away in the week.

On the plus side, I'm so preoccupied with sorting out the move I haven't given much thought about the birth (although it would be nice to know which hospital I'll be in).

I'm really hoping he stays put until after the move so I've got time to register with a GP and meet my new midwife.

Lots of deep breathing and many naps are getting me through this!

dulcefarniente · 02/06/2016 23:46

A friend of mine went into labour on the day of their (similar distance) house move. Had the baby in the new location and the staff wouldn't let her go home until her dh had unpacked. So she missed the worst of the upheaval whilst dh & family members got the place straight.

lalalalyra · 02/06/2016 23:50

I would create a plan that doesn't involve you being there. The packers will be fine packing, but maybe pack a suitcase of essential clothes for you, DD and baby (let DH sort his own) that gets marked up so you don't have to worry about unpacking if you don't have anyone to do it for you.

Make a list for your DH and your Mum for what is important to unpack and tell DH has has to do it in that order (if he's anything like mine CD's, DVDs and guitars would be the first things unpacked!) - your bedroom essentials - bed & linen, DD's bedroom - bed & linen, livingroom and kitchen essentials. If you can sleep, sit and eat you can get everything else done as you go.

Do you have someone who can collect your DD if your DH and Mum are at the new house and you are in hospital?

Also, you might be best paying for unpacking because worst, worst case scenario is that you are in labour or have just given birth that morning which could render your DH out of action too. Do you have friends and family you could rally round? I'd pitch in for someone I knew even prett vaguely in that situation.

Emochild · 02/06/2016 23:59

I moved when dd2 was 2 days old and dd1 was 2 yrs 1 month

We packed dd1 off to mil for the morning
I 'supervised' the packers and we hired a cleaner so when each room was done they went in and cleaned

I then disappeared with both dd's to a premier inn for the night and let DP handle everything
This was extended to a 2nd night as our new house was filthy and needed cleaning before a box was unpacked

Not something I'd choose to do again but we managed

shiveringhiccup · 03/06/2016 00:24

This sounds like a very bad idea, sorry.

Why can't you just slow down and enjoy your new baby? Spend time as a family, establish feeding, start to recover physically, sleep, bond, have privacy, allow DP and DD to bond, help DD to adjust, etc etc.

Also you don't know how long you'll be in hospital for. Avoiding thinking about it is irresponsible, longer stays do happen and you can't predict it.

I know it's not what you want to hear but this time is very precious, please don't turn it into a rushed, chaotic, stressful time. There's no need and you'll regret it.

And congratulations Flowers

Brandnewbrighttomorrow · 03/06/2016 00:41

We moved a couple of days before baby 3 arrived by c-section - agree with online food shop and have people on hand to clean both new house and old one for you once empty. Label EVERYTHING!

Wotshudwehave4T · 03/06/2016 00:42

Pay to get a firm to clean the house before you arrive if exchange and completion allows so you don't have to think about that. Pay for unpacking after its clean, but name each room in the new house and make sure DH sticks the name on the door to each and make sure each box is named accordingly. Despite clear labels we ended up with heavy ensuite stuff in the bathroom. Get the nursery unpacked first with kettle, cups etc labelled as nursery and camp in there with baby while the others unpack. We moved with newborn twins- cleaning, naming the rooms and unpacking were the best things we did- oh make sure the packers don't pack your car keys 😯

Fpmd1710 · 03/06/2016 01:33

I moved house less than a week before I had my first child and he was overdue so should have actually come a week before the move. I found that I made myself more stressful that the situation probably was with worrying about what needed to be done before baby came and what not, but as soon as DS came it's almost like a calmness just came over and I stopped fretting over what needed doing still etc. as I just realised that everything will get sorted in time

seven201 · 03/06/2016 02:55

My friend did this very soon after birth with her first. Unfortunately she had really bad post natal depression and anxiety and was hospitalised. The move happened while she was in hospital which made it even harder when she went 'home'. What did help though was that her family rallied around and unpacked the new house for them. They also had the full packing service. I think it is do-able but get as much help as possible!

Littlefluffyclouds81 · 03/06/2016 03:50

I moved ON my due date with dd2. She was born 2 days early (had her on Saturday night, moved on the Monday). I anticipated hell, but actually it was fine. An army of friends turned up to help, without being asked, and set about packing, shifting stuff and cleaning. I helped out for a few hours but then started to feel a bit giddy, so went to bed with dd2 for a kip. When I woke up, everything in the house had gone except for the bed I was lying in, and the house was sparkly clean.

You'll be fine, in my experience it was the best time to move as I got to sleep through it, guilt free.

dividedmansions · 03/06/2016 04:07

We moved with a 4 week old. But only to the other side of London. That was stressful enough tbh and we only had him to worry about - you're a braver woman than me if you do it when you have an older child too!

If you must do it I would stay elsewhere and let your DH unpack for the most part before you move in. I know you say no space at your mums but there isn't space at mine either (my two siblings are teenagers and still live at home) and all that happened is my brother slept on the sofa downstairs and I had his bed with DS in the sleepyhead.

dividedmansions · 03/06/2016 04:08

That's all very well fluffy but I very much doubt everyone has an army of helpers ready to do that!!

queenoftheboys · 03/06/2016 04:16

We moved when DS4 was about 2 weeks, and the others were 5, 3, and 18 months. It wasn't ideal and was a bit stressful at the time, but like you we were subject to the vagaries of the property market, and we survived!

We paid for cleaners to clean both houses, and for movers to pack and move, but I preferred to unpack ourselves so we could decide where things went. We just did it gradually over a couple of weeks when we could.

queenoftheboys · 03/06/2016 04:18

Meant to say, we had a couple of boxes of baby, kid, kitchen stuff etc that we needed straight away that we packed ourselves at the last minute and unpacked immediately.

zad716 · 03/06/2016 05:07

Trying to plan for the worst and hope for the best.

I hope for your sake it doesn't happen, but have you thought through the situation where there is a complication and your new baby is kept in hospital until after you've moved house (to 60 miles away)?

(My DS was actually in SCBU for over 3 weeks)

Original poster
chellem1 · 03/06/2016 05:47

Blimey, lot of responses overnight!

The hotel idea is a good one, I'll keep that in my back pocket in case it all seems a bit much. I am reconsidering going to my mum's with the baby - it might be that I can hole up in her house just for the day.

The house we're going to was impeccable when we were there a couple of weeks ago, so I'm confident the owners will leave it in good nick - otherwise, my mum will be driving straight over from our current house to set it straight. Nope, no army to help, just the paid-for movers and my mum on that day really.

The ones of you that have moved with two or more tiny ones, I take my hat off to you! It makes me a bit more confident hearing that it's been done before. I am aware that my brain is picking out and retaining the positive stories though!

zad - we really would just have to cross that bridge as we came to it if that happened, but of course that would be a shock without the house move anyway. In that case, I think our friends and other family members really would step up and help. We would hopefully have a few days to manage that situation if it came up and come up with a new plan.

OP posts:
Out2pasture · 03/06/2016 05:56

i'd be very cautious to not do toooooo much. if you get too overtired and run down you risk infection and excessive bleeding. it might affect your milk coming in as well. of course you can resume your normal way of life after the delivery but taking on unpacking seems a bit much.

Drmum123 · 03/06/2016 06:01

Hey, I moved three - four weeks after having a section for my second. We were a bit broke at the time! So cleaners, packers and hotels were not a possibility. I packed up the house slowly starting before baby arrived and just did three or so hours a day. We hired a van and talked my husband dad and brother into helping load and unload. We were moving two hundred miles. We packed up the stuff (I remember rushing into town on the bus to register the baby while they were loading). They travelled down with my two year old son. Meanwhile I cleaned the whole house in two days (including the body oven). Then I got the train down. I actually stopped in London and went to a concert with my mum and sisters (baby in selling with ear defenders). It was stressful and there were tears, but we didn't really have a choice because the buyers had offered such a great price for a quick move. However, anything is possible and is only a few days. Baby was in sling the whole time and I just add topped to breastfeed and eat. Helped out was my second because I knew what I was doing. Anyhow I often get myself into these situations because I have a never ending optimism that everything will be fine and that we will cope. We usually do, but I hate myself in the middle of it!

WhisperingLoudly · 03/06/2016 06:06

It very much depends on your recovery but it's certainly do-able. You just need lots of contingency plans.

I moved overseas when DC4 was 11 days - DH had had to go ahead and I was left to pack the final bits (although packers did bulk) and get the DC (all under 6) on a plane. It had stressful moments but we survived Grin

puglife15 · 03/06/2016 06:16

Id be very aware that for your older child it is two absolutely huge life changing, earth shaking events very close together... i asdume changing nursery too actually so that makes three.

That would actually be my main concern. Newborns generally sleep and feed and don't do much else for the first week or so so as long as you're able to switch off from the chaos and can truly just focus on the baby you should be ok. Get a sling suitable from birth if you don't already have one.

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