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Original poster

To ask for solutions to toddler bedtime issue that doesn't involve a bolt across his door...

69 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 02/06/2016 10:02

Me and DH put DS (2yr 2m) into a toddler bed a few days ago and we are having problems.

We have put a stair gate across his doorway to stop him wandering around upstairs but it now means we can't close his bedroom door which I think is the cause of all the problems.

Without his door shut the room is a lot lighter, he can hear EVERYTHING and routine noise is waking him up and I also think the loss of his security/safety of being in an enclosed room is upsetting him.

Me and DH are at a bit of a loss to the point where DH even suggested removing the stair gate so we can shut DS's bedroom door but then put a bolt across the top (on the outside) so DS can't open it from the inside and get out. It's a stupid idea and I told him so, I said absolutely no way are we locking DS in his room. I don't think DH had thought it through and was simply looking for a practical solution.

What have other people done to overcome this problem?

I have considered taking off his stair gates and putting stair gates across other doorways, I.e across the bathroom door, the door to the spare room, across the stairs etc so he can't go wandering into them should he leave his room, but I'm pretty sure that if he knows he can leave his own room then he'll be out of it all night as opposed to sleeping.

Does anyone have any ideas or solutions?

OP posts:
Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 02/06/2016 15:42

I'm pretty sure if we bought a new cot he'd just break that one too by jumping in it in the same manner he broke his first one.

Sometimes I wonder if he's too young to be out of his cot but general consensus against people I know is that most toddlers are out of their cots before they are 2.

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KeepsAwayTheNargles · 02/06/2016 15:58

Our 20mo has been in a low single bed for a few months now as he was climbing our of his cot and plummeting to the floor! We have a stair gate on the stairs that screws in, just to deter attempts to go downstairs. I lie with him til he falls asleep, if he wakes in the night he comes and knocks on our bedroom door (his handle is low enough for him to open but our isn't, nor is the bathroom). Though hs waking a lot at the moment which is driving me insane, and on the odd occasion I've tried the supernanny return to bed technique its worked so my plan is to do that for a few weeks and crack it at some point between his birthday and Christmas...

He went from a cot to a single mattress on the floor initially, then a low bed with a low guard around it so he doesn't ever fall out, just gets out to come get us when he wakes...

Bear2014 · 02/06/2016 15:58

It's a nightmare isn't it. Actually of our NCT group of 8 only mine and one other are in toddler beds at 2.5 years old. Several are little for their age and fairly placid so I guess that has some bearing. I think they are too young but if they destroy/escape from their cot you have no choice. I think the key is consistency whatever you do, which we have never been good at. Possibly a week of hell being strict and going a bit Supernanny would have worked.

Kimononono · 02/06/2016 16:03

Easy - take the gate off and sit out side his bed room with a book and wait till he gets out of bed.

And repeat X a million till he falls, cries, shouts him self to sleep.

Repeat next day

And next

Then it will start working. It's bloody hard work get a toddler to learn to stay in bed. He is still a baby, dont expect a quick fix.

Third night for me was always the point of turning a corner.

Kimononono · 02/06/2016 16:05

* obviously take him straight back to bed when he gets up

RainbowDashian · 02/06/2016 16:18

My youngest child wouldn't stay in his bed so I'd climb in next to him and cuddle/stroke his head until he fell asleep. It was far less stressful and quicker than repeatedly returning to him to his room.
He's 4 now and goes to bed on his own. Falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 02/06/2016 17:36

Well the stair gate is off his door and we now have ones across the stairs and the bathroom. He is not happy at all about not being able to get in that bathroom Grin

I don't know why we didn't have one across the bathroom anyway because him going in there all the time and messing about with the taps and his toothbrush drove me mad!

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Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 02/06/2016 21:10

We had a kiss and a cuddle, I left the room, shut the door behind me and he settled himself off to sleep in about 10 minutes Smile

I just know I'm going to lie awake all night though panicking that he's going to leave his room and somehow fall down the stairs Confused Grin

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PurpleRibbons · 03/06/2016 08:22

So...did he stay in bed?

cornishglos · 03/06/2016 08:58

Take the stairgate away. I never liked the idea of trapping a child in a room. If he wanders out just keep putting him back into bed until he gets it.

Isthereeverarightime1 · 03/06/2016 09:37

We just did some sleep training with our son although he had been in a toddler bed longer he couldn't sleep unless we were with him and the would wake in the night etc so we decided to sleep train. We read him a story whilst he was in bed and left the room if he came out of his room we picked him up (no talking or eye contact) and popped him back into bed, the first night took us two hours or more with that decreasing night after night and seven ish weeks in he gets up once and my dp puts him back and it means he can settle himself and he mows sleeps through the night! It takes some will power but eventually they do understand that mummy and daddy aren't going to stay with them to help them sleep!
We don't have stair gate but if we did I would be inclined to put it at top of stairs

Isthereeverarightime1 · 03/06/2016 09:38

Whoops just read your update, hope it went well!
Our DS's are similar ages as I remember your username from one of the ante natal threads

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 03/06/2016 10:50

Well I lay with him for ten minutes when I first put him to bed but left when he was still awake and he was fine with that.

He woke up at about 1am and it took about 30 minutes until he was asleep again. Within that time frame I had tried twice to leave him whilst he was sleepy but the minute I left the room he'd start screaming again so I did lie with him until he fell asleep.

He then woke up again at 03.30 and we repeated the exact same process as above except this time it took about 45minutes until he was eventually back to sleep Sad

He was then up at 6am for the day.

The good news though is that he didn't try and leave the bedroom Grin

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PurpleRibbons · 03/06/2016 11:06

Actually it could have been worse! He stayed in his room so that was good. Hang on in there, it'll get better!

NapQueen · 03/06/2016 13:47

Put the door handle up higher? Adult eye level?

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 03/06/2016 13:53

Bed tent

waterrat · 03/06/2016 13:56

Honestly this is a very short phase they get used to staying in bed and then they soon get older and safer anyway !

Craigie · 05/06/2016 16:42

Take the stair gate off the bedroom door and teach your child to stay in their room at night! If you've got stairs, put the stair gate there instead, for safety.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 06/06/2016 10:45

It was all going well until yesterday he finally clocked on to the fact that he could vacate his nursery at leisure.

He came out three times last night following initially before being put to bed but did eventually accept that he needed to say in bed.

He then came wandering out at 01.00 and again at 05.45 Confused

For some reason knowing he's leaving his bed and opening his bedroom door makes me feel quite nostalgic as its made me realise how he's not my little baby anymore Sad

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