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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that infant school pupils don't need special cover up knickers?

289 replies

DrSeuss · 01/06/2016 22:09

A local FB seller is flogging gingham over knickers to wear with school summer dresses. Just in case a child of five should do a cartwheel and someone should see her underwear for a brief moment, presumably? My daughter is five. While I would not wish her to run around showing her Frozen themed undies to the world all day, I have no wish to teach her that she must cover herself at all times. Having taught as a peripatetic in primary schools, I always walked a fine line between wishing they could sit on a carpet without flashing me their pants and thinking that their innocence and lack of inhibitions were to be held onto as long as possible since they would be sexualised soon enough.
Would any of you want to buy the chequered modesty preservers?

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 02/06/2016 07:51

I agree with Pp a girl whos underwear might be on show is unequeal (sp) nobody would send their Dd to school in just pants on a nice day shorts underneath is just common sense imo

Chilver · 02/06/2016 07:51

Thanks goingtobeawesome. We've checked those out and yes, they are still too 'briefy'!! Boy shorts go down the leg a bit which is what she now prefers and refuses to wear anything else (and I don't mind as it means she can be upside down to her hearts content!)

I just find it odd that they aren't available for little girls when they are the most likely to be oblivious about not showing privates and generally legs up etc

lalalemon · 02/06/2016 07:56

I know someone who puts over knickers on her baby..... Over tights! Confused apparently it's not appropriate for her 'bum' to be on show!

AngieBolen · 02/06/2016 08:00

These sound very much like frilly pants which go over nappies.

DD started to wear cycling shorts under her summer dress in Y5- I think just because it's what other girls did. She was also told to wear a crop top to "prepare her for wearing a bra" and so she didn't show too much when getting changed for PE with other girls Hmm The crop top did not happen in Y5 (DD didn't want one) but I'm aware some 4yos do wear them.

JoeMaplin · 02/06/2016 08:01

My daughters have always just worn school shorts and polos in the summer, neither wore a summer dress past reception I don't think. I would be taking it up with the govenors if the uniform policy insisted girls wore dresses and skirts - that is like when I went to school in the 1980s!!

MrsJayy · 02/06/2016 08:04

Yeah pants to go with baby dresses are a thing i used to put them on my dds not frilly mind you but they used to come as a set with the dresses

branofthemist · 02/06/2016 08:08

Dd always chose to wear cycling shorts under her summer dress. Why do people assume it's the parents making them?

She also chose to wear the summer dress.

TJEckleburg · 02/06/2016 08:08

Why on earth do 4 year olds have to "preserve their dignity". They shouldn't have any bloody dignity at 4- they should be joyously free to do exactly what they want without worrying about society putting sexualised overtones on their activities.

My dd always wore trousers in winter and shorts in summer. Because she wanted to. And because her school was enlightened enough to not actually differentiate uniform by gender at prep level. (And at senior level whilst girls have blouses and boys have shirts and tie, trousers are still an option for girls)
We discounted another prep school when the head responded to my query as to whether girls could wear trousers with "if she self identifies as a boy she can wear the boys uniform". She didn't self identify as anything at 7, apart from occasionally pretending to be a pink unicorn, she just recognised that trousers were more comfortable and practical for the active life she had. Why can't our school managers realise the same thing?

Brokenbiscuit · 02/06/2016 08:12

My dd chooses to wear cycling shorts under her skirts/dresses, and has done so for several years now. I found it a bit weird at first, but if it makes her feel more comfortable and able to move more freely, then I will respect her choices.

Don't assume that it's the parents that have a problem with exposed knickers - it might be the kids themselves!

LadyStarkOfWinterfell · 02/06/2016 08:15

TJ Shock
Fucking, fucking gender. Shitting all over our kids' childhoods.

JohnBarrowmaniac · 02/06/2016 08:16

I teach Y2 and there are a couple of girls in my class who seem to spend most playtimes upside down doing cartwheels and handstands. I suggested to them that they might want to put on their PE shorts before playtime. Our playground is in a suburb and is fenced all around, but there is nothing screening the view of the playground from people passing by.

Brokenbiscuit · 02/06/2016 08:18

FWIW, our school is quite happy for girls to wear shorts or trousers instead of dresses and skirts, and that's what she wore when she was very small, but she now prefers to wear skirts or dresses with shorts underneath.

Her clothes, her choice!

Gileswithachainsaw · 02/06/2016 08:19

Dd is also at the stage where she is uncomfortable changing around the boys at school.

no amount of telling her no one cares and everyone has a body has changed that.

not sure when the male/female separate changing comes in but she can't wait

as I said in.previous post. forcing them not to wear them.to prove a point is surely as damaging as the insistence of making them wear them.

I do sometimes worry about the point proving that goes on about these things. sone lids developed early yku can't go by age and there are ur 5s and 6s at Dds schopl who likely would benefit from.wearimg shorts under a dress ( where they are tall and unifirm.is very short on them) or a crop top or even a bra.

their comfort is what matters. this is the time where hang ups can be made or broken.

GirlOutNumbered · 02/06/2016 08:22

Girls should be able to wear shorts if they want to, but lets face it. Most of them love the dress.
I think it's weird to expect them to cover up, but then now we have also started telling them about their privacy at a young age, so no wonder they want to cover up. We can't have it both ways.

AugustaFinkNottle · 02/06/2016 08:24

Good grief, we had these when I was at school back in the dark ages - we called them bloomers, and hated them.

I think it's a real shame if girls feel they have to wear an extra unnecessary layer when it's hot just for the sake of "modesty". I agree that the whole uniform thing is stupid anyway, and both boys and girls should be allowed to wear shorts.

MrsJayy · 02/06/2016 08:27

Yes we are telling children about private areas their underwear is just that underwear so no we cant have it both ways

Gileswithachainsaw · 02/06/2016 08:30

have you seen the shorts though?

uniform shorts are horrid. they all look cheap and nasty wherever you get them from. seem to be the most ridiculous length amd that horrid Teflon coated material....

Dd would prefer to just wear the cycling shorts.

but I'll say it again..uniform. is shit. can't believe kids are supposed to he comfortable enough to learn in it. and don't get me started on what clothes I could be buying fir the money I have to spend on the logo jumpers and shoes alone...

originalmavis · 02/06/2016 08:39

Out school uniform for girls is short culottes (shallots?!). Very practical.

I can't say pants on show ever bothered me until I got to secondary school and started doing the long jump. Sand in your pants is horrible.

Thatrabbittrickedme · 02/06/2016 08:41

My DD insisted on wearing shirts under her dress in Y2. Something she decided independently and if it makes her more comfortable I was not going to argue. She spends most of her free time upside down doing gymnastics! I agree with mrsjayy you can't teach them pants safety and then refuse to respect their wishes regarding modesty.

I really struggled to find them in the shops at a reasonable price, this year was in the US at Easter and Walmart had stacks of them for $3 each so I brought a pile back.

Those gingham ones are awful though, DD would not be seen dead in them, she just wears plain short cycling shorts.

Thatrabbittrickedme · 02/06/2016 08:42

Gah! *shorts

KathyBeale · 02/06/2016 08:42

This is the most horrendous thread!

So, are the gingham pants supposed to be worn instead of normal knickers or as well as? Why are they more 'modest'? Just because they match? Like someone else said, kids run round in swimming costumes - knickers aren't any less modest than that. If they're worried about 'silliness' from other kids then plain white knickers are completely un-silly.

I quite like the school summer dresses and I always liked them when I was at school even though I loved being upside down. I do remember tucking our skirts into our knickers.

In my sons' school lots of girls wear trousers/shorts.

rogueantimatter · 02/06/2016 08:47

Shorts and a dress? Wouldn't it be more practical to ditch the dress?

I'm pretty sure schools cannot enforce the wearing of any uniform.

If gingham dresses are the uniform for girls only but require shorts worn underneath for reasons of 'decency' isn't that discriminating against girls? It acknowledges that the uniform isn't suitable for doing physically active things in. Shorts for all surely?

The gingham dresses look wonderfully comfortable but if they prohibit physical activity without wearing shorts underneath they're not suitable for school. Boys don't accidentally reveal their underwear because they wear shorts.

So, shorts for boys and girls.

Or the option of dresses for boys and girls with no requirement to wear shorts underneath.

Gileswithachainsaw · 02/06/2016 08:50

shorts are already available for girls.

the issue is not that they can't wear shirts as you look at the uniform profilers like m&s and next and asda etc you can buy shorts.

but if you wear the shorts you still have to wear the shirt and tie. fir older girls also, if you take the jumper off the shirts are see through

so they do little to relieve the heat and stuffiness of the warmer weather.

wear dress and you can.just wear the dress.

Gileswithachainsaw · 02/06/2016 08:50

shorts

uniform.providers

ffs autocorrect

HandsomeGroomGiveHerRoom · 02/06/2016 09:02

I think as MrsJay says right at the start of this thread, that children can get silly about bums. Nothing to do with sex really, and it's a good enough reason for little girls to wear shorts under dresses if they wish to.

Also ime little children aren't always reliable bum wipers. Shorts might help them keep their slightly icky pants to themselves.