DH is on a health kick and it's doing my head in

[DuvetDayEveryday]

When we met he was a gym goer and had big arms and rippling abs. Nine years later he is still fit but has a more lean physique and his abs have all but disappeared.

So, having hit the big four-oh, he's decided to sort his body out. He had a Fitbit and is obsessed with his step count, calories in and out, sleep quality, everything. I have one too and I feel like a complete fat lump next to him. He averages 15k steps a day, I average about 3k.

He's been off work this week and at random moments he jumps up and does twenty press ups, or planks for two minutes. He's constantly on at me to come out for a walk when I'm quite happy lounging on the sofa.

He's now bought a pull up bar for the garage door and keeps reading me articles from the Internet about callisthenics and the fat content of certain foods.

I love him to the ends of the earth but he is doing my head in. It's a constant reminder of how unfit I am (I'm a good four stone heavier than when we met and a lot unheathlier). He isn't trying to make me feel bad but he is. I don't need catsbumfaces from him when I take three biscuits from the tin or eat cheesy chips for lunch. Neither do I need a constant stream of info from him about good fats and high salt contents or the benefits of 10k steps a day.

Aibu? (I suspect I possibly am).

There is no bigger bore than a health kick bore. YANBU

And I say that as someone on a massive health kick at the moment. I only talk about it to DP and one friend who are doing the same programme as me. Otherwise I would fully deserve to be slapped with a omega rich wet fish

I think YAB a little U OP, my DH doesnt do a tap of exercise golf is not exercise when you rent a buggy and he has a terribly unhealthy diet. I'm the complete opposite, really into healthy eating and the gym and it is just a nightmare sometimes to see him stuffing his gob with crisps/chocolate/ice-cream and swilling vast amounts of coke/wine - I freely admit that it makes me jealous and cranky!

I think maybe there is a happy medium that you could work on, like maybe he doesn't nag you over the biccies if you go for a walk/cycle with him? Also, pat on the back for losing two stone

You said you have put on 4stone since you have been together, how long is that, how tall you are? The NHS recomends 10,000 steps a day!

Hmmm my cousin took up running a few months ago and is so irritatingly smug and evangelical about it that I've hidden her on FB. Every sodding post is about park run, fitbit, nutribullets and personal bests. Shut uuuup already.

I've taken up exercise again myself and am plodding toward my goal but I'm not counting calories, preaching or boring everyone to death about it.

I think you'll feel better if you do a bit more exercise, but going on about it is surely only going to make you dig your heels in or is that just me

You could look at it as: 'he wants you to be healthy and live a long time with him' of course :)

If it's a midlife crisis it'll be over by September. Smile, nod and do what you can do. Two stone is a great start.

His body, his choice. Your body, your choice. I can't stand it when someone (male or female) tries to shoehorn their partner into changing the way they are. Tell him that you are happy the way you are. Some people choose looking slim over food, some choose the food rather than being slim. Both choices are valid.

Going for a walk together is something I enjoy with my DP. I have recently joined a gym myself but would not dream of making comments to DP. He probably walks more steps than I do so can not complain. Why don't you sit Him down and have a chat about it if it is really bothering you?

I do feel for you OP. My Dp regularly decides he's going to start a health kick. We both weigh a good 2 stone more than when we met 4 years ago, but while I'm ok with that (I'm overweight, but was only thinner due to the stress of divorce, not a conscious decision!) he berates himself and feels very self-conscious being overweight.

I must admit I dread it when he goes off on a diet/exercise kick, as I end up having to cater for very specific dietary requirements, trying new recipes, filling up my fridge with weird veg etc and we don't eat out as often as usual so more cooking generally, but then when he's at work or at his own house with his DCs he'll end up just eating out or having a day off from his diet, so I end up bearing the brunt of the changes, when I'm not the one who wants to go on a bloody diet even though I should Sorry, rant over!

However, I know that I should not only encourage him, but commit to it myself and for my DCs. Trouble is, I have a more holistic view of it, trying to incorporate good food, smoothies, walking etc, rather than banning certain foods, whereas he's all about intensive workouts, apps & stats and fad food, which neither of us can sustain.

To be fair, I should say that DP would never say anything negative to me about my weight, although he does joke about my terrible food choices, but he knows that he doesn't have a leg to stand on when it comes to loving food!

YABU.

That's hardly obsessive. I would hate lounging on a sofa all day and am the one with the fitbit, interest in healthy food and cajoling my DP into going for walks. The press ups though... annoying.

10,000? I only managed a maximum of 1,500 a day but usually that's more like 400 because I am chronically ill. I hadn't realised how bad it had got. I want to cry now. I need to go back to the doctor.

OP I know you can't live for others and your DP is being a massive pain in the arse but if I'd do anything to be able to go for a walk. It's the perfect time of year for it. Your health is incredibly precious and being able to use your body is an amazing thing. Planking during Corrie is maybe going a bit far but go for a walk.

• manage not managed. I used to walk double that easily.

Double 10,000 I mean. Even my brain has given up. 🙄

Here are my steps on my Fitbit. I am a fatty ( size 16 and 13 stone) but boy can I walk! Nothing else to add except my Fitbit stealth boast!

I was about eight stone when we met. Too skinny. I was ten stone after having ds2 and then put on four stone in a year due to some horrible medication. I've lost two stone of that.

I do appreciate wanting to be fitter, and it's very admirable, and yes I should probably get on his fitness bus, but I just don't want to .

He's off doing his twice weekly martial arts class tonight so I can eat biscuits in peace.

Eat your biscuits and be unfit then. Enjoy.

Enid, I do aim for a walk everyday, with the dog. Even if it's just round the block.

I'm sorry you have an illness. I do too, although a mental illness, and some days I can't get myself off the sofa. So on my good days I make the most of it. I cleaned my whole house today with MIL's help and have racked up 7000 steps. Tomorrow will probably be a duvet day.

Do you think he's just trying to get you motivated?

I'm 15 stones and falling and average between 15,000 & 21,000 steps a day.

I have mental illness, i've been hospitalised and on mediaction that could sedate an elephant.

I have found that exercise is actually great for me and only wish i'd realised this sooner.

Once i got over the lack of motivation, i've not stopped. Even on those days when i just want to hide i'll make myself do something because doing nothing ends up making me feel worse.

I'm not gonna say it's been easy.

Start small. Set yourself daily goals. Try 5,000 steps one day, then try and beat that with an extra 1000 steps the next. Set goals that work for you, but always try to beat the previous goal.

Get MyFitnessPal and start logging what you eat. It was such a shock to me realising what i ate through the day i started to make changes.

Ive r been going to SW for the last 3 years and have lost a 4 stone regain in that time. (of the 10 stone i originally lost) DH eats hot dogs victoria sponge magnums (the cheap supermarket version) jaffa cakes bourbon biscuits egg custard tarts (yuk) choc ices etc but i would never dream of saying anything.

Its controlling.

It's the same here. DH was dangerously overweight and lost 5 stone. He is obsessed with calorie intake and gets up at 6 to go to the gym. Meanwhile I have gained weight - a lot of weight - eating extra as a kind of "I'll eat what I want" teenage petulance.

I have only hurt myself as I now squeeze into size 18s. I have now started going to the gym, although I am not getting up at 6!
So although YANBU about his droning on being annoying, YABU to complain about his health kick. Go and get involved too. You will feel better and it will stop his nagging.

if you want to be fat lazy and unfit, thats your choice

dont let anyone tell you otherwise

My DH tends to do this sort of thing. He gets bees in his bonnet about it and they tend to buzz rather too loudly for my liking.

I have no problem with someone being on a health kick. I do have a problem with how my DH goes about it though. It is in a blowing his own trumpet "look how good and virtuous I am" sort of way which seems designed to make anyone not following the same routine feel inadequate.

I am working on losing weight, and I have a fair bit to lose. I am modifying my diet, cutting out most of the crap such as crisps and chocolate and reducing portion sizes. I walk quite a lot with the dog, who is my companion for it although it hasn't helped that he (dog) is getting old now and has been ill recently, so we have had to cut back a bit.

I just can't stand people who seek to impose their way of doing stuff on others, or use it to imply criticism even if their intention is to motivate.

Cheesey chips...what the hell?!
YABU
I was lazy and eating unhealthily now I am healthy eating and feel well and losing weight it's much better!
Be healthy together!