to be pissed off at brother/brothers gf

[cjt110]

I get up this morning to a message from brothers girlfriend. "We're at a wedding 18th June. DB has been asked to look after your parents dog so would you be able to look after it as we are day and night guests"

Background. We are all (me, DH, DM, DF and DS) going away on 15th June for a weeks holiday together. This was booked in Jan/Feb time but not before my parents had asked could my brother house/dog sit for the week.

Brother's girlfriend has in the past done things we aren't sure were a bit devious. For example, she asked DB could they have a baby and get a flat together. He said he wasn't ready and didnt want to. Lo and behold a few months later she is pregnant and insisting they move in together (Yes, he's just as much responsible for the pregnancy).

I replied with No as we're all away together and DB knows that. I will speak to my parents as it's been planned for months on the basis he could dog sit.

She replied that it was fine he would just not be able to go. I said I didnt understand why this had cropped up now as he knew full well that we were all away together. She said don't worry its fine.

Am really pissed off that either he is reneging on his plans, or she is shit stirring behind his back. I havent told my parents or DH about the messages yet as I feel it'll cause stress but at the same time, my parents ought to know and be having a conversation with my brother that he is really going to do this and not let us all down.

every post op makes, makes her and her attitude to brother and gf seem worse and worse

Stardust He's getting free bed and board for a week, and paid for doing it too! So, yes a favour, but also a free house, all the food he can eat AND getting paid for it too!

Sorry for the ramblings - Im, just getting in a tizz and cross about it all, unneccessarily more than likely. It's my first holiday with my parents since I was a child, and their first holiday abroad in 20 years. My brother is asked to do something, but asked only to agree if he can definitely do it and if he couldnt to say so. He agrees then this is asked 2 weeks before holiday causing worry for us all.

So he should be getting paid it's the least they could do they would pay for kennels for a week. You DB still has over commitments his DD work? I'm guessing he is staying at your parents house to CARE for the dog

stardust He doesnt work. His daughter is looked after primarily by her Mum.

All in all, sounds like he's been a forgetful sod and not told his gf that we are all away together.

I wouldn't ask someone as unreliable as your brother sounds to look after my dog. Kennels are better than no one showing up at all. I would suggest your parents book a kennel place or professional dogsitter instead and then the wedding plans aren't disrupted and they know their dog will be properly cared for.

Even so he has a responsibility to his DD.

Ah I see cjt.

Well surely it's simple then. Your brother committed to the dog sitting before the wedding invitation. He doesn't go to the wedding. It finds suitable alternative dog sitter.

He surely wouldn't let your parents miss out on their holiday?

Tendon I am thinking of suggesting just that - My Mum doesn't need the stress of it all.

Stardust In theory yes - in practice, he doesn't care for her most days. But I'm not arguing over that. He often revokes all household responsibilities to his gf and is treated like a child.

Nannawifeofbaldr I would hope not. GF has said she has told friend he can't attend because he has arrangements she didn't know about.

Star I've house/petsat and others have done so for me - money has never been exchanged. Both ways it's been the chance to stay in a bigger place, possibly somewhere nicer, for a change. I'd say it was unusual to pay a relative or close friend in that situation.

I would find someone else asap - either another family member or friend or book a professional dogsitter. Failing that book a place at a kennels for a week.
It will cost a bit but you will have peace of mind.
It doesn't matter whether the gf is shit stirring or not. The dog needs to be properly cared for by someone reliable for the entire week.

My Dad has spoken to brother. He didn't know gf had messaged me and said he had told her he was dogsitting for my parents.

Why would you do that - message someone behind the other persons back trying to change what had already been planned.

What a mess and really op I can quote see your main concern is with the dog.

Personally I would tell your parents as its their dog so ultimately their responsibility and get them to seek reassurance from your brother that he won't leave the dog.

He sounds horrible really and no way would I trust a dog to a flaky git. A good kennels would be better and put all minds at rest.

Oh x poised.

Keep out of it op then it's their business and sorted. Any more input is shit stirring xx

It does sound a little bit as if they don't have the most honest relationship? Maybe your bro has said he can't go to the wedding because of the dog and she's surreptitiously checking up on him without saying so? Maybe he's trying to get out of going to the wedding. Or, maybe she's being perfectly straight and he hadn't told her about the reason for the dog-sitting - happens with me and my husband all the time. Or, at least, he says I haven't told him about something when I remember the entire conversation, including where we had it, and he just wasn't listening. He says it happens the other way around, too, but I don't believe that.

According to my brother he told her last week - and my Dad overheard - that he couldnt go to so and so (a few days earlier) as he was dogsitting and she "had no chance" as it had been arranged for months.

I wonder if GF was hoping that your parents would offer to put the dog in kennels so that she & your brother could go to the wedding together?

I know I'd look into other dogcare arrangements in those circs.

Im not sure diddl but I was perhaps right in the idea that she was upto something sneaky. My brother had apparently said he wasn;t going to the wedding and that was that. He said he hadn't asked her to send me a message and on reading her message back it makes no sense.....Why would my brother ask me to look after the dog and then also not be aware it was the same week?! There's no other reason for him to be looking after the dog than my parents being away....!