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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put my children to bed at 7pm every night?

143 replies

DreamCloud99 · 30/05/2016 19:36

Including school holidays and weekends?

My twins are 4 (almost 5) . I find that if they don't have enough sleep they are grumpy, rude and uncooperative the next day.

They also get up at 6am , no matter what time I put them to bed !

I can hear children out playing in the sunshine and one of my twins is already fast asleep Blush

The other is in bed quietly playing a game .

I selfishly enjoy my evening time and as I go to bed myself around 9:30pm, I like to keep them in routine so I can have some down time .

But I'm not sure if this is mean? AIBU?

OP posts:
ForalltheSaints · 30/05/2016 21:05

Sounds reasonable. No excuse for staying up for a particular tv programme as it was in my childhood now there is I-player and other catch up tv.

britespark1 · 30/05/2016 21:08

I have a 5, 4 and 3 year old. Youngest go at 6.30, eldest does reading with me until 7. They all get up at 5.30am regardless of how late they go to bed and I need some time to myself by 7pm most days! Obviously it will change as they get older but for now it suits.

Comingfoccacia · 30/05/2016 21:08

I did exactly the same with my twins at that age! They are now 8 and although bedtime is more fluid these days they are both really good at going off to bed.

Original poster
DreamCloud99 · 30/05/2016 21:10

I have Cake and Wine now so all the guilt is gone Grin

OP posts:
AgentPineapple · 30/05/2016 21:23

You know your kids best OP all kids are different so what works for one doesn't work for someone else. My 5 YO DS is rarely in bed before 9pm and my twin 10 month olds go to bed some time between 7pm and 9pm. I couldn't put mine down any earlier, but fab if this works for you and you will know how much sleep your kids need to function

ScreenshottingIsNotJournalism · 30/05/2016 21:28

I would hate to miss out on balmy summer evenings and instead rush home for house arrest from 6pm onwards in the holidays. We'ld all miss out on so much!

But my kids are fine with flexible bedtimes in the holidays and I get it if other people's aren't.

BennyTheBall · 30/05/2016 21:28

Sounds the right time for me.

I'd love to still put mine to bed at this time, but they're teenagers.

sharknad0 · 30/05/2016 21:30

Whatever works for you! I never understood the need to change routine during holidays, or worst at the weekend. So much better to keep the same times and let them sleep, they need it!

Cantstopeatingchocolate · 30/05/2016 21:30

My 6 year old would be in bed for 7 and asleep for 7.30 @ 4-5yo.
Now he gets to bed for 7.30 and definitely asleep by 8, he gets up between 7 and 8am. Totally grumpy and uncooperative otherwise.
The kids still outside are probably older or maybe don't need as much sleep as your DCs
I have friends who work later in their own takeaway so the kids get picked up from grandparents @9pm, they're 3&6 but since it's been routine for years they don't suffer too badly.

JingleJangleJudy · 30/05/2016 21:38

As a line parent of a child that never ever slept, this thread is depressing! I think I'm still traumatised and sleep deprived!! Confused

yummycake123 · 30/05/2016 21:44

YANBU, we do the same. Our DS is 3.4, and he usually is asleep by 6.30-7pm. He wakes up between 5.30 and 6.30am. Even if we put him in bed later he still wakes up super early so we rather have him in bed early!

starry0ne · 30/05/2016 21:47

My DS (9) at that age I treated the same..He is not much better now but doesn't wake me up and manages his tiredness better.. He doesn't have many late nights over hols. I consider them time for catching up with sleep..
Enjoy your cake and wine.

Imaginosity · 30/05/2016 21:49

Whatever works for you and your children.

Mine are 6 and 4 and only ever fall asleep at about 9.30 or 9.45 every night. They wake st 7.45 on school days. They're both happy with lots of energy. I like having the extra time with them in the evenings as I work full time. We have plenty of time to do homework, eat dinner and they have time to play.

drspouse · 30/05/2016 21:59

My DS and my cousin's DC are literally 2 days apart in age, both 4. DS goes to bed at 7 and the cousin at 9.

I love having an evening to rest or get stuff done when my DC2 doesn't decide bed is for wimps and we are mean and nasty parents for putting her there.

My only issue is that my DCs can't stay up for special events as they'd be hell on wheels. I was just at a family party (I couldn't bring my DCs as I had to go somewhere nearby for work first and DH couldn't come) and her DC was up till about 11 having a blast. If my DS had been up that late I dread to think what he'd have been like - either rampaging and breaking the place up, or asleep on my lap even though the disco was blasting. But getting a babysitter is a small price to pay.

DixieNormas · 30/05/2016 22:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BotanicalPJs · 30/05/2016 22:26

I treat weekends and holidays the same as school days for my 3 year old. She goes to bed at 8ish and wakes up at 7ish.

I'm hoping to gradually move it to an hour earlier over the summer holidays, ready for school in sept.

I need my space in the evenings and I feel bad when I see DD looking tired

greebstreebling · 30/05/2016 22:30

HELL, NO. I am green with envy. More power to you.

donkir · 30/05/2016 22:35

My 16 month old ds goes to bed at 7.30 and my 14 year old goes to bed at 8.30 lights out at 9. If the 14yr old gets too tired then it brings on a migraine.

Crispbutty · 30/05/2016 22:42

From the age of 7 I was at brownies, swimming club, etc.. do none of your children of that age do any activities in the evening.??My bedtime at that age would have been 9pm latest and i would still be up early for school without any problem.

Ameliablue · 30/05/2016 22:47

I think it's fine at this age.

KERALA1 · 30/05/2016 22:49

Sounds ok for littlies but too early for over 7s. Dh doesn't get home until 7.30 and would t see dds at all if they were packed off to bed so early. Also we enjoy having dinner as a family. Ours 7 and 9 go to bed 8ish often later in the hols as we lose track of time. They aren't tired during the day. Just all been out for lovely dinner got home 10.30.

We host students from Italy / Spain who were baffled by why most English children eat so early not with parents and go to bed so early. Their cultures seem much more family orientated. May explain the differences between their dc behaviour in restaurants and that of some English kids...

Xmasbaby11 · 30/05/2016 22:56

If that works for you, that's fine. It seems early to me but I don't know why anyone would have a problem with it.

My dc are 2 and 4 and they go to bed by 8. It's already enough of a rush as we don't get back from work and nursery til 6 most days - we have dinner and chill in front of the TV before bath and bed. We couldn't make it much earlier. I go to bed at midnight so still have a few hours of child free bliss!

In holidays the dc may stay up later. They are not really early risers and often sleep til 8 or after at weekends.

Lovelydiscusfish · 31/05/2016 00:00

My dd is just 4, and goes to bed at 7. She's not obliged to go to sleep - she can do sticker books in bed, look at books, play with toys etc. But she consistently goes to bed at this time. I think she's probably awake till 8 at the latest. Works for all of us!

madein1995 · 31/05/2016 00:58

Totally fine I say. As a child I was always crashed out by 7, mum liked be to be fed and bathed by 6 so I could chill, I had a nap during the day too (as a child aged 3-6 I had a nap after school/nursery for half hour too - was a prema nd so days activities got me very tired! Think mum liked cooking tea in relative peace too) .Like yours I was an early riser, between 5 and half past every morning. On holidays they tried to keep me up later so I'd sleep in, nope! Still up early, though in those occasions I stayed in until 6 am, my poor parents! I was a very busy child so ready for bed by 7 definitely. You know your children op

sharknad0 · 31/05/2016 10:23

Sounds ok for littlies but too early for over 7s

Hmm

You can't make that judgment about other children you don't know! They need to sleep, and they do, end of the story. Mine go to bed later but they sleep in the morning, and don't have to get up that early even on a school day. My last one has been known to happily sleep until 10am if you leave him. If they were up at 6am, they would be grumpy and exhausted and would go to bed at 7pm too.

What are the school days in Italy and Spain? French kids tend to go to bed later too, but they have Wednesdays off, which makes a huge difference.

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