To ask how you afford private school fees

[Elephantslovetofly]

We have a young DD, and although it's a while away yet we are thinking about school. The area we live in does not have a good local school, and we are considering an independent school for her

Disclaimer - I went to a private school and for what it's worth had a great education. I enjoyed being there and did well in exams. I believe my parents decided to send me there also because of a lack of a good local state school. I might have done fine at a state school, but will never know I guess

We are probably 45 min drive from the school I went to - further than is ideal. DH doesn't mind driving her there if we decide to send her there though (if she is fortunate enough to get a place)

The issue is whether we can afford it. The fees are about £9k per year for junior and £12k for senior. Assuming we therefore need to find £1k per month for fees

My cheeky question is this - if you have a child at private school, what does your household earn and how difficult is it to find the money each month to pay the fees? Our income is about £60k, and at the moment I don't think we can do it (along with our other current expenses). Wages might go up a bit before we would need to start paying, but if this is always going to be a pipe dream i'd rather get over it now

I know we could move closer to a good state school, but am exploring my options at this stage. Don't really want to move, as we have a good house here and are settled

Thanks for reading

We have 2 at private school. In fact, my daughter has just got a place at a grammar school so after this term it will only be 1.

My husband has a very good job and earns well, I have recently started working full time in a school, not amazing money but perfect holidays.

We make sacrifices, we don't have big expensive holidays, my car is nice, it's a big mini but it's 6 years old, husband has a little car which sits at the station all day.

Our house if fairly modest, probably worth less than most of our friends houses and that's probably the difference in what we've paid in school fees.

I don't regret it, given the state schools we would have got but I think some state school are at least as good if not better than some private schools.

I dont think headline income is really that meaningful as someone on 60k with no mortgage may in reality with cb/ less tax to pay have as much disposable income as someone on 100k with a large mortgage. Also private schools are cheaper outside London by a lot. Cost of living is also massively less.

The main issue ypu have op is are you going to have another child?

OP aside from the money, I think 45 minutes is a very long drive to get to school, especially as private schools often insist on a lot of after school activities.

Ds's day school in London offers bursaries to families where the income is under £120k pa. Dds' day school offers bursaries to families where the income is under £106k pa. I think that gives you some idea of what level of income a London based family would need to send a child to private school.

easy on 60k

lots of families live on far less than 48k

if you want it then go for it, but you will have to trim costs elsewhere

always worth asking about a bursary, the amount of money they have to give does vary school to school, some senior schools only offer bursaries to children with a scholarship, most preps are not selective and money is just given based on need. Scholarships rarely come with a financial award now, schools have got wise to that, instead the talented kids are identified and then they means test you to look at how much financial assistance is needed so this can be nothing or can be as much as full fees covered. Scholarships aren't just academic, all rounder, sport, drama, art, music are also available, some even have specialist scholarships in stuff like IT. Does dd have a talent? You may also find looking further afield at ( more expensive) boarding schools widens the possibilities, the older more expensive schools tend to have much bigger bursary pots and so can do more for children from 'normal' families. Your dd may prefer to board than sit in a car for 45minutes every day, most kids do. Also if you are going to go independent it is important to pick the school that best suits dd, not just the one that is closest, my parents made that mistake and I ended up somewhere the ethos just wasn't me. Visit a few ( even if you think they are out of price range) and get the feel for them, the right one will normally jump out. If you are in the south Christ hospital is especially free and easy with the financial help.

Around where I live the primary schools are rating outstanding but the secondary schools are low performing. We can either hope our DD is bright enough to get into a grammar, find the money for her to go to a private secondary school or move house. A lot of our income goes towards our mortgage and we are on a six figure salary. If we stick at one child we can afford private but if we have more we will probably have to move. It will be a tough decision as we love the area.

I've read a few times that there's been a sea change in private school fees. 30 years ago when I was at private school, it was affordable on eg the average architect's salary (and buying a 4 bed house in a naice part of berkshire was affordable on one non-graduate salary, in my ILs' case). Now private school fees have gone up so much compared with earnings it's out of reach for a much greater number of people.

Another option is try the state school to start with and see how she gets on. This is not a decision you make on perfect info - there is only so much you can really learn from looking around a school - and I think there is a place for giving it a go. It might not be as bad as you fear, and you can always move her later. Every year she spends in state school you can save the £6k+ and invest it towards her secondary school years. When we were considering private for our DC (they are in state school and loving it, I'm a complete convert, I hope my parents aren't as judgemental as Espee about this decision!) our plan was to put aside several k per year from age 2, to build up a pot in the primary years that we would use to part fund private secondary school. Then if state primary really was awful we'd move her early or come up with a plan B.

We currently have both boys in an excellent state primary, but there isn't such a good intermediate school (years 7&8) that we are in the zone for.

Our options are private prep at $9000 per year (plus uniforms, stationery, extra curricular activities, textbooks, laptop, etc), or not so good state school where DS1 at least will meet up with the bullies we moved schools in year 3 to avoid. A third option of hoping we get into the out of zone excellent intermediate is possible but extremely unlikely, moving isn't an option.

So we're going with prep. Household income is significantly higher than yours (3x ish) - but we have a reasonably large mortgage with that. We drive 20y old cars, one holiday abroad a year (Fiji this year, U.K. next year), the boys do one extra curricular activity that we all share and we grow a lot of our own food. We won't have to scrimp or save particularly to find $1k a month for school fees but life would be easier still if we didn't have to!

Can you start putting money aside now and keep that saving going throughout the preschool years? It would give you a head start on fees.

Choice of private school vs second child is more difficult - in those circs I would probably look at state school, second child and use the saved money for tons of extra curricular stuff for them both.

Are you planning another? You could probably just about do it on 60K, 2 would be really struggling. Academic standards at state schools are much better now than they were 20 years ago.

DS 1 went to a state school in London for a couple of years and was actually slightly ahead when he went to a private school out in the home counties.

I like the fact that they get lots of other sporting, music, drama etc but lots of then cost a lot extra. I wouldn't want them (or me) to swap our holidays every year for that.

DH earns a lot, 3 lots of school fees don't really put much of a dent in our monthly income.

We managed it on about 5k less than you earn, by living frugally. But my family bailed us out many times and we added to the mortgage when my husband lost his job. We needed a safety net.

As a nanny I've worked for many families whose children go to private schools

Main thing to consider is if you are going to have more dc

Some families have done state till 7yrs then move them to private for the next 4yrs

Could this be possible?

Tbh I don't see the point in paying for private at age 2/3yrs. Total waste of money

Plus 45min commute is a lot. Is that a round trip so 20mins away or single so 1.5hrs round trip so 3hrs in the car for you ?

Elephants, are there REALLY no schools within a moveable distance that are suitable?

I don't think I'd send mine private unless it was absolutely the last option - it's the idea of paying someone's average yearly salary (if you have two children) for someone you can get for free I just can't get my head around! There's also no way I could limit my own life and that of my children's.

I think I'd rather save the £12000 p/a and present them with a cheque for £84,000 at the end of their senior school career.

We have 2 in independent school& a family income of £58k. Combined fees are £22k

We bought our house 14 years ago for £90k so only have a very small mortgage. We only run 1 car. Holidays are trips to London or camping but every 2-3 years my parents pay for the whole family to go abroad.

We go out but only for family meals, never out drinking with friends etc. No sky TVs, just £6.99 per month for NOW TV. My mobile is paid for by work & dh is sim only so cheaper phone packages.

The other thing about scholarships/bursaries is they are often more relaxed about registration fees and deposits if financial aid is required to accept a place, the important thing is to be honest, the staff at the school will be on 'normal' incomes so no need to feel embarrassed.

I don't think it's worth it on your income (similar to ours). There are other costs along with school fees, and like pp have said if you have another Dc I don't see how it's possible without compromising on absolutely everything else.

I would rather there is money for nice family holidays, regular weekend trips, hobbies and clubs, and yes extra tuition if needed. And also savings - so we can eventually help out with uni fees, first house deposit etc, which is massively beneficial for dcs getting a good start in adult life without a massive debt.

In your shoes I would be looking to move to an area with decent state schools.

We'll be managing for youngest did on an income of prob about £70k (I'm on maternity at moment so not sure how part time I'll be on return) but I think it will mean my entire wage going on fees. My older dd fees are paid for by my ex and my parents.

However - I get generous maintenance on top of this which helps pay towards our bills and for things for elder dd and we're very lucky to have a very very small mortgage (£300 ish a month). I don't think we'd manage it on your salary if you have larger bills

To be honest I think a lot of people like the IDEA of private school: - 'Here is my kid, dress it in a posh uniform, have everybody know it attends a fee paying school away from the plebs.'

But then I think there are an abundance of private schools in some parts of the country and barely any elsewhere. We used to live in a town where there was one private senior school children could feasibly have attended and it was miles away. Independent education just wasn't so much of a 'thing.' IME it is more so in London.

I also have worked for those who sent to the state - even tho could easily afford private - big meant they could use the difference for extra lessons /tutition etc if needed

I have seen some children struggle with private education and homework

Paying for private doesn't always mean your child will be at the top of the class if they lack the brains (sorry)

As other have said - put aside for a year £1k a month and see if you can afford it

What we also did was 1 year before dd started school & 2 years before ds did we started saving the equivalent of their school fees in an ISA each month so we had a cushion.

Tbh I don't see the point in going for private at age 2/3yrs. Total waste of money

Seconded. I don't agree with them full stop but surely at young primary age they're utterly pointless

We have a six figure income and only one DS so could afford private school but won't be sending him.

This thread is a real eye-opener.

My son (who is nine) swims very well and often competes in galas at the pools at local private schools which are all amazing. He always says he wants to go to those schools for secondary (he's only in y4) and I've sort of vaguely assumed it might be an option if he works really hard and passes the exams, and continues to be a good swimmer...

We are in London with an annual income of about £70k (though my job - which pays about £25k isn't very stable at the moment and I'll be amazed if I've still got it by the end of the year) and two kids and this thread has made me realise that private school is completely out of the question! This has definitely changed, right? I knew people when I was at school who went to private schools and like someone else said, their parents did 'normal' jobs. My best friend's dad was a journalist and her mum a lecturer and writer and she and her brother went to private school. I can't begin to see how that would be possible nowadays. Another friend's dad was a (state) headmaster and her mum was a teacher and she went to private school, though her brother didn't.

Sorry I know that's not the point of this thread. OP, I'd say that schools can change completely in just a few years. My son's school was good when he started, then just as he joined reception a new head arrived and it was very shaky for a couple of years - she just didn't 'fit' with the school and quite a few long-serving teachers left. I was just beginning to worry about what would happen when she left, and a new head arrived. The school just got outstanding in its Ofsted - all in the space of five years. So keep an open mind on all the schools near you.

How can we afford it?
"Elephantslovetofly Mon 30-May-16 06:35:58

youarenot yes we work but DH is around more and is planning to do most of the childcare once I'm back at work full time, so hopefully nursery fees won't be extortionate!"

We both always worked full time so we did not have that part time earnings period you mention above and we both had two full time salaries. The childcare full time costs were more than a set of school fees by the way so if both parents work full time and pay full time childcare then when the child comes to go to private school at 4 costs reduce rather than get higher.

So either you lose a whole wage when a baby comes (which full time wage is enough to pay for full time child care in most cases assuming more like £25k than £14k minimum wage) or you pay for full time childcare. Either way a set of school fees is surely no more expensive?

I totally agree this may only be possible if we have just the one child. Complications with my pregnancy may mean we just stick with one, and at the moment I admit I'm a bit PFB (which I accept might change over time)

The school I went to is 15 or so miles away, so estimated 40 min drive each way. There are others we could look at too, which may be closer - another something for us to consider

My income is likely to increase, but I don't know by exactly how much. Perhaps combined income will be closer to £100k. Our mortgage is currently around £700 p/m

We are midlands based, so def not thinking about London prices!

Couple of points from the above:

A PP mentioned Christ's Hospital - that's a great school - we went for an open day although DD flatly refused to consider it because of the uniform. It's secondary level (or it was then) and boarding - and close to Horsham.

The expense of "extras" must depend on the school - I set aside £500 per year for DD (this was primary) and always had something to carry over to the next year. She did learn the piano but out of school, wasn't especially sporty ..... the massive advantage for me was that, as a sole parent working full-time, all after school activities were included in the fees - as was breakfast club. Also school lunches and after "normal" school hours tea (sandwiches etc). For me, the peace of mind of knowing that she was there until 6pm and that staff illnesses etc wouldn't affect her life/care and therefore my work, meant that the rest of it was worth it. We still went abroad for a week every year - nothing costly - and did pretty much everything else as normal. There were some slightly "out there" parties - one of her friends hired a limousine for her princess party when they were about nine - but you can get those anywhere.