to prefer a homemade costume and get upset about this

[IamAporcupine]

DS (4) loves dressing up for parties. I love making his costumes. We spend time thinking what we could use, designing it and building it together. So far we have done a batman, a ghost, a mouse and a chick.
He has a queen and kings party soon and wants to be a dragon. Big challenge but I really want to do it (or at least try!)
DH went shopping with MIL and has just called me saying they found a dragon costume in the shop. MIL wants to buy it and they asked if it was ok. I said yes as I do not want to be difficult, but I am upset.
AIBU to not want an already made one? Of course it will look better than what I could make...but it will be half the fun

The home made ones are usually waaaaay better. Personally, I usually can't be bothered, but whenever we do make the effort, DS wins, because everyone else's is shop bought. Especially if he helps with it.

Go to town on customising it! You could add sequins, paint on scales. What about making it a fire-breathing dragon - you could use some silky scarves in red and orange to make fire? Make sound effects and hook up an iPod and small speaker he could wear under the costume?

YANBU to want to make it yourself.
YABVU to not say so, your mil could have found something else to buy and taken a trip to Toysrus

Bubbins
What about making it a fire-breathing dragon - you could use some silky scarves in red and orange to make fire? Make sound effects and hook up an iPod and small speaker he could wear under the costume?

What inspiring ideas! I want one!

I've made a dinosaur (basically a drago without wings) costume before and it was fab. I enjoy making costumes so completely understand your disappointment. I will say though school gives loads of opportunities for making them. DS prefers my costumes as it usually allows him to choose something weird and different from everybody else in the class - on Roald Dahl day he was the only child that went as Roald Dahl in RAF uniform.

I think Yabu. If you enjoy making them that's great. But that doesn't mean that anyone suggesting a bought one is wrong.

Tbh I don't quite get why you are upset. She didn't just buy it and demand he where it. She called and asked and you said yes.

Thanks everyone, I feel better now.

Off (to another b'day party now) will reply properly later

Why don"t you show your son the costume and ask him.
I can and do make costumes when neccessary but sometimes my DD doesn't want to be different than her peers and would rather have the £12 asda outfit. I don't mind at all as it saves me money and time. not bitter at all about my lovely elsa dress. No. Not me.

I can see where you are coming from, I like making birthday cakes for my children and would certainly be disappointed if DH and MIL went and bought one - I think it is great though that they actually asked and didn't just go on ahead. I do see why you didn't say no when caught on the hop though! As others say, I bet you can add bits.

I'm throwing it out there that dragons aren't a common fancy dress. Did they go looking for one specifically?

I have a monster-in-law so may just be projecting.

Next time just say no. But embellish the one they bring back anyway.

So many little Elsa's for WBD DS1 was a homemade pirate and IMO looked awesome!

Gawd, just pray your DC don't get into cosplay.

I have sent three off to Comic Con this weekend, dressed as these three.

thanks all again

I had no idea I would have so many other opportunities during school (he is my only son) so that alone makes me feel better!

It turned out I misheard DH on the phone - it wasn't a dragon, they got a knight costume. DS loved it, so no point in changing it and tbh there is not much room for improvement either, but that's fine as he was really happy with it.

I didn't say no because MIL leaves the other side of the Atlantic and sees DS twice a year so she doesn't have many opportunities to spoil him. She knew I was trying to make the costume, but I do not think she realizes how much I actually enjoy doing things like this. She even said that 'I do not have to stress about it now', so she probably though she was being helpful. Plus she is prob the type of person who thinks shop bought costumes look better. I guess DH called to ask but also to warn me.

kingsdolstail Funnily enough I was going to tell DH to stay away from the costume section of the shop as I thought MIL might be tempted. We had a little raw just before they left and I didn't want to talk to him in the end.
And also, absolutely, a part of doing it (and doing it with my son) is to show him we really do not have to buy everything.

But it is also true, as you and seacabagge suggested that I do lack assertiveness, and that's probably why I felt so upset at the time.

bubbinsmakesthree it was going to be a fire breathing dragon...but I hadn't thought of sound effects! Fab!

Anyway, I decided that if I still want to give it a go, I will be the dragon.

Most store-bought costumes aren't that fancy - can't you see if it can somehow be 'improved'?

Oh, and OP the best is yet to come, in reception, teachers communicate via slips in the book bag about these costumes. Come year 3 and the darling child is supposed to tell you. Only he won't. He'll tell you at 7 in the evening that he needs to be a farm animal or an Edwardian boy tomorrow morning . Keep stock of old clothes and fancy dress for impromptu costume making.

Did the knight costume have a shield and a sword? Plenty of scope there to make your own... or even a banner for him to hold (for 2 secs!).

Or dress him entirely in bought costume and use the spare time to read him a book on knights/castles/dragons - possibly with him in costume!

I love making costumes too. Store bought have their uses though, whenever my dd's have been bought some I've paid a lot of attention to how things are done with construction, reducing 'the look' to simple elements. Commercial costumes are extremely good for having boiled down what 'looks right' changing for better materials, improving accessories etc from those has taken other costume i make to another level.

Jenny70 it really came with everything
it's this one: www.tkmaxx.com/content/ebiz/tkmaxx/invt/9./D./D./45134672/45134672_large.jpg

It needs a pennant for his squire to carry! Or perhaps use a pool noodle to make a lance?

Weeeel that is a pretty cool knight costume!

You could still make him a banner/standard thing?

Make something dragon related to go with it!

One more idea -

That puts my crusader costume to shame.

Maybes I'M That friend who makes crap costumes!

Don't upset yourself, they'll be plenty of opportunities to make costumes in the future. Your MIL was trying to be helpful.

You're NBU in the way you feel but your DH and MIL at least asked you. The option was there to say "no thank you, I'd like to make this as I usually do". Unless there's form for them being pushy, but your post doesn't end that way to me. There will be plenty more costumes in the years to come to make.

"Aw, that's really kind of you, MIL, but I love making the DS's costumes, so I'll pass thanks. Mind you, tell me where it is so I can get it last minute if I struggle."

Job done.