To not let my son have his friends in the house any more.

[mrgrouper]

My son is 4. Older kids in the neighbourhood want to play in our house. It started OK but now things are going missing from my house. Only minor things like packets of biscuits, small change and a bottle of cola. However I am sick of it. They are showing me and my house no respect whatsoever. Do not want them back. I have a pretty good idea which kid it is, as one specifically asked for biscuits and cola and I said no. However best to ban them all bar our next door neighbours girl.

Yanbu. I would be clear on the reason too. Do not stand for this op. Anyone who comes into your home should be treating it with respect.

Your house, your rules. I'd no way have a load of kids rampaging round my house, so you're better than me.

I'd give them a warning first telling them clearly what is and isn't ok and that you have noticed things are missing. Do you have a garden they can play in instead?

Out of interest, why is the next door neighbour's girl exempt from the ban?

I wouldn't let them in as your being stolen from. Agree that you have to make your reasoning clear also

I would not mind but I am so brassic at the moment it is unbelievable. Went to food bank last week. Those biscuits were value ones I got from Morrisons as a treat for me and son so not to feel so stony broke.

The little girl is exempt from the ban as she is lovely and I am close friends with her mum. There is no way she is the thief. I have a good idea who the thief is but banning them all.

It's really out of order whether you're loaded or you're on your uppers. Sorry things are tough at the moment.

You should definitely tell them off. Be clear that you don't know who did it but you're very disappointed and you won't let them back into the house until you are sure you can trust them.

YANBU. Especially seeing as you're struggling so much at the moment! Greedy little shits. If I found out my DC were pinching food from friends' houses because their parent had said 'no' to them, I'd be beyond fuming and wondering where the fuck I'd gone wrong.

I bought my son some ice lollies last week. This one kid asked if he could have one so I said yes and he took EIGHT. I know his mum and I do not believe she is starving him, he is actually a bit overweight.
I just cannot afford to have all my food going missing.

I actually think it may be better to ban them all, including the little girl. More simple rule and as I have no proof it is this boy it is better to have one rule for all of them.

This one kid asked if he could have one so I said yes and he took EIGHT.

I'd be having a word with his mum. That's just pure greed. Why didn't you tell him he could have ONE lolly, and take the rest back? Or weren't you there when he took them?

Yanbu, I wouldn't put up with nonsense like that. Said kid would be ejected from the rest of the group and he would know why he was being out out.

Is the child you think took the food only 4 as well OP or is he alot older?

If he is how could his Mum not notice he had a bottle of coke and a packet of biscuits on him when he went home?

Honestly I'd just mention in front of the Mums about biscuits,coke ect going missing,the child who took them may have told they're Mum that you'd given them to them,especially has times are so hard for you(I've been there myself in the past OP I know how crappy it feels)they should replace them for you and your DS.

The way this kid eats I do not think they would have got as far as his home.

Yep, stop them coming in. If they're older than your son are they even playing with him or just taking advantage of you? I wouldn't ban the little girl though.

Also I know it's a bit late now but did you really just stand back and let him take eight lollies out of your fridge?!

I did not let him take 8 lollies. I let him take one. I was looking after my son and he was in the kitchen. I admit I should have checked on him, but was shocked at the 8 empty wrappers I found. I should have been monitoring the situation a lot better.

I'd ban them all.

I cannot even believe anyone can eat 8 lollies. They were ice cream based ones. I think I would feel sick and I am way bigger than this kid.
All the kids are older than my son and I am sick of them.

Yes, ban them all.

yes, they are ALL banned. I do not really want my son playing outside with them any more as they are a bad influence. One even said a few weeks back that they call black people "chocolate drops". I did tell him at the time that was a totally unacceptable thing to say.
I think I will just spend more time indoors with son, doing his reading and writing and helping him with his school work. He is only 4 and an August birthday so not doing well at school. His teacher has noticed bad behaviour from him since he has started playing with these kids.

They are taking advantage. Better for your son to have friends his own age anyway. Is the little girl older? I think you can make an exception for her but ban the rest.

The little girl is 3 months older than my son. All the others are 7-10.