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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let my son have his friends in the house any more.

47 replies

mrgrouper · 29/05/2016 08:48

My son is 4. Older kids in the neighbourhood want to play in our house. It started OK but now things are going missing from my house. Only minor things like packets of biscuits, small change and a bottle of cola. However I am sick of it. They are showing me and my house no respect whatsoever. Do not want them back. I have a pretty good idea which kid it is, as one specifically asked for biscuits and cola and I said no. However best to ban them all bar our next door neighbours girl.

OP posts:
Odmedod · 29/05/2016 09:41

Why would you let a random 10yo in your house to 'play with your son'?
That's odd, I'm afraid.

WorraLiberty · 29/05/2016 09:44

YANBU

You need to put your foot down and reclaim your home.

They don't sound like a great bunch of kids anyway tbh, so hopefully the ban will mean they'll take less interest in your son and find somewhere else to play.

I wouldn't ban the girl next door though, just let her come around when actually invited.

gingergenie · 29/05/2016 09:46
Hmm
BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 29/05/2016 09:47

I wouldn't let my 5yo play with a 10yo either - I'd be wondering why the 10yo wanted to play with a much younger kid in the first place. Maybe because they're easily manipulated?

Original poster
mrgrouper · 29/05/2016 09:52

It is mainly the 7 year old who plays with him. The older kid has only been in once or twice. The 7 year old appears very immature for his age and acts like a much younger kid. It is the 7 year old who I suspect is the thief.

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 29/05/2016 09:58

How on earth do some people manage to get through the day? Hmm

AmserGwin · 29/05/2016 10:00

How many kids are you letting in? Mine are only allowed one friend at a time, and if I don't feel like having them there I say no. Just stop letting them in!

VioletBam · 29/05/2016 10:11

He's 4. They're not "his friends" they're neighbourhood children who come round to play...and to steal.

They are also too old for him.

chocolateworshipper · 29/05/2016 10:35

Personally I would let the little girl continue to come round as she is the same age. It could be a good idea to build social skills by letting your DS have one friend round to play. However - absolutely ban the rest!

xvxvxvxvxvxvxvxv · 29/05/2016 10:54

No need to tell then they're banned. Just say no I'm busy and don't have your door open. Why would a ten year old be coming to play with a 4 year old anyway?

cupidsgame · 29/05/2016 10:59

I'd definitely not ban the little girl, she's the same age and you know she's not the thief. At his age he doesn't need loads of kids playing in the house, especially older kids.

silverpenny · 29/05/2016 11:09

Assuming this is genuine just don't allow them in your house?

Nataleejah · 29/05/2016 11:12

One or two at the time and never unsupervised.

Floggingmolly · 29/05/2016 11:22

This reply has been deleted

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ssd · 29/05/2016 11:29

I know sometime younger kids like to play with older kids, but the older ones can be fly and are really only there to waste time and see what they can steal by the sounds of things

op, I'd let the little girl next door in but not the others

and I'm sorry you are skint at the moment, I hope things take a turn for the better soon.

Costacoffeeplease · 29/05/2016 11:30

How can a 7 and 10 year old be your 4 year old's 'friends'? They're just looking for a bit of sport and seeing what they can get

VestalVirgin · 29/05/2016 11:37

Ban all of them except the girl. I feel like the girl is the only one who's really the right age to be his friend, and also, you trust her mother so it'd be nonsensical to socially isolate your son by banning her, too. (Or can he come over to the neighbour house to play with her? You could explain the situation to her mother.)

Oldraver · 29/05/2016 11:42

Ban them all by all means but you can pick and choose who comes into your house. So if you dont want the 'thief' in then you are perfectly withing your rights to say no.

I think you do have to be a bit more assertive. There is no way a random child should be helping themselves

VioletBam · 29/05/2016 12:07

Costa has it. They probably aren't allowed in anyone else's house and see yours as an easy target.

They really aren't his friends.

Mominatrix · 29/05/2016 12:32

I agree with a PP - why is your 4 year old child playing with a 10 year old. Let me rephrase - what kind of 10 year old is playing with a 4 year old, and where are their parents?!?!? Highly odd.

Hissy · 29/05/2016 12:38

You're letting 7-10 yo kids into your house to play with a 4 yo?

Seriously? Really?

You don't let a 4yo alone in a playground, so why would you let the playground into your home, and not even supervise them?

He's 4. The only people coming to play with him need to be his age group.

I see you let him play outside with the Kids too? I repeat, he's 4, he needs to be supervised. By an adult.

I have a play park outside my house, I live in the sticks in a naice village. No way would I have let ds play out at 4. He was at least 7 before that happened. And even then it was under a loose eye from the window every so often

If the kids come and knock, just say "not today" and leave it there. They'll give up eventually. Your child will make friends at school etc, don't worry.

Shannyfanny · 29/05/2016 13:00

no dont let them in. I once let a teenage boy from my estate stay at my house for the night, he was 14 and his mum locked him out and it was january so super cold.
When i woke up his friends were in my flat, was a mess and some headphones and dvds were stolen.

i should of just called the police and got them to wake his mother up but i was trying to be kind. Never again.

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