Neighbour yelled at and chased me

[QueenOfTheAlley]

I was only trying to go to the toilet in her flower bed FFS!

Servants keep trying to make me use a litter tray - as if I'd poo in my own home!

Said neighbour has now been round with that vile pepper dust stuff. Does she expect me to keep my legs crossed??

Oh FFS, go and play on the motorway.

You don't have a neighbour problem, as much as a servant problem.

Expecting you to use a litter tray? Crap in their shoes!

Don't worry, just power through the pepper stuff, it's when they start leaving plastic bottles of water around that things start getting scary.

I don't get it

Didnt you enjoy the smell of move it! I have a loaded gun of water waiting for your next visit. Noticed you didnt venture onto my new bushes today....

Come near my delphiniums and you'll get supersoakered ant cat nipped

Learn to crap in your own garden and leave your neighbours alone

Done

Ah I see you're either pussy cat or a dog.

I find theses kind of threads where the OP pretends to be a cat/dog/toddler/ dishwasher fucking tedious.

Ah no, I have to agree with Stay it is fucking boring the 51st time around.

Hesteton each to their own and the right to comment.

Why should my child have to tread in all your cat shit???? and also there are other risks involved.

Who said you did Hesterton

No more boring than any other conversation you can choose to ignore, bad manners to be so rude to random strangers I think, but what do I know?

Who wants to pretend to be a cat?

You ming. I hope the neighbour invests in a super soaker.

Shitting in a flower bed is not 'going to the toilet'.

Hmm. I thought I saw you among my azaleas earlier. Come any closer and I will release my killer hound (ok, so my mild mannered, scared of everything, totally dopy collie who may or may not notice you are there in the flower bed depending on how brave he feels).

I'm singing the Aristocats song in my head.
Every body wants to be cat.

I'm not pretending. I am genuinely a cat. My servant is doing the typing for me but it's her job

Neighbour hasn't got a super soaker or dog as far as I know and I'm hoping it stays that way.

I find theses kind of threads where the OP pretends to be a cat/dog/toddler/ dishwasher fucking tedious.

You're not wrong.

I always read these in one of those twee little squeaky voices some peculiar adults do.

If you don't like posts like these then hide the thread or just ignore it. Is it really that hard to do?

Anyway op. You need to train your servant. Taking a dump in your own home is grim. A flowerbed is a more peaceful, relaxing experience.