To be upset my friend has asked for money?

[Tobeavsangel]

I woke up to a text of a friend asking to borrow £700.

I dont have that kind of money to just lend out and not worry until next payday. Ive also recently purchased (last week) a new house and paid the deposit. Which she knows about.

I paid her phone bill a year ago and I wasnt paid back for over a month.

Im upset of being put in such an awkward position.

[BreakfastLunchPasta]

"I've just paid the deposit so I really don't have that money to spare" ought to cover it. Don't put "sorry" (you're not) or variations of "at the moment"/"just now" - you don't want to give the impression that normally it's fine.

[Devilishpyjamas]

No awkward situation - just tell her you haven't got it. Most people don't have a spare 700 quid lying around!

[WhatALoadOfWankers]

Absolutely agree with breakfast's response

[NeedMoreSleepOrSugar]

Just tell her you don't have it. And be prepared for her asking for a lesser amount instead. £700 is a lot to ask for out of the blue; do you know what its for?

[ratspeaker]

Whats the betting if you say sorry cant lend you £700 that she'll come back looking for a lower amount.

I'd text back " I have no spare cash at all " and leave it at that.

A real friend would not put you in such a position. Maybe she thinks you have lots of cash as you have bought a house.
If she trys to guilt you into giving money remind yourself that it wasn't you that spent her money

[Frrrrrrippery]

I wouldn't find this akward at all

Sorry, can't help, I've nothing spare.

Short and straightforward.

[APlaceOnTheCouch]

I wouldn't be upset. Just say 'no'.

You paid her phone bill over a year ago (and actually you gave her a loan which she paid back). She's hardly using you as a cash cow so I don't understand why you're feeling upset or awkward.

If a friend texted me asking to borrow £700, I'd assume there was a very good reason and I'd be worried about what it was (regardless if I could pay the £700 or not).

[NiceSegway]

I leant a really good friend £800 to help pay for her divorce lawyer. I later found out she was having an affair with my husband and refused to pay me the money back. Put me right off lending to anyone.

[Topseyt]

With Frrrrrippery here. That is the correct response, and no need to feel embarrassed about it.

Your friend has a rare old nerve asking for a loan of £700 just like that (or at all even). What's the betting that you would see little or none of it ever again?.

You are not a bank.

[Frrrrrrippery]

I leant a really good friend £800 to help pay for her divorce lawyer. I later found out she was having an affair with my husband and refused to pay me the money back. Put me right off lending to anyone

That's just terrible!

[someonestolemynick]

Not sure about all the angst in this thread. If this is out of character for her I would assume she has a genuine reason for asking.
If I could help, I would thinking that I may be in her situation.
If I couldn't, I'd have no problem just sending back something like "I'm skint myself, so can't help financially. What's the problem?"

I don't think she did something terrible and your reaction is a little OTT. Could you be feeling bad about not being able to help her? I think it's fair enough to ask in an emergency and it's fair enough to say "no", if you can't help.

[AthenaGaia]

no. neither a borrower nor a lender be!

Luckily I learnt this lesson at 14 when I lent my friend £20 in about 985 to do her christmas shopping! I was asking for the money back (quite reasonably, would have taken £2 a month ykwim) and she lost her temper with me for nagging me and ''going on about it'' when in fact I'd been afraid to bring it up. Eventually and to this day my mother still reels in shock about this, HER mother came over to our house to give out to my mother for splashing the cash basically, to the point where i was ''playing banker'' . They made me feel like a loan shark. My mother knew I'd been saving that money.
I'm actually really lucky now that that was one lesson I learnt v young. Some other harsh lessons, I only learned a couple of months ago at 45!

[SomethingLike]

It's too much money and if you feel anxious over the text then say no.

"I'm sorry I'm not in a position to help at the moment. I'm cleared out with the house stuff. Are you OK?"

If she comes back with a lesser amount explain you're strapped but if you're feeling generous you could lend her £100 on the proviso she understands it needs to be paid back within a certain time. Personally I'd try to not lend her anything I feel uncomfortable lending people money.

[pictish]

Just text back, "No can do. I hope you manage to work something out though. x'

[AthenaGaia]

Actually, just completely ignore the text.

[APlaceOnTheCouch]

someonestolemynick yy this is one of those threads where I don't understand all the emotional turmoil.

[anaaugusto1992]

You should just say you can't help and if she becomes unreasonable, just explain the reasons why you can't. If she's a good friend she will understand...

[TommyandGina]

Reply with 'what a coincidence, I was about to ask you the same question'

[pictish]

Yes if she tries for a lesser amount just reiterate...no can do...definitely not...wrong person to ask.

[ImperialBlether]

I leant a really good friend £800 to help pay for her divorce lawyer. I later found out she was having an affair with my husband and refused to pay me the money back.

That is really shocking. What a bitch that woman was.

[pictish]

Tommy I do like that.

[AthenaGaia]

That really is shocking. Asking for money from the wife of the man you're shagging, when she is your friend. Wow. That beggars belief. HOW did she reconcile that in her own head. Nobody ever thinks they've done a bad thing. People always rationalise everything. But that would take super powers of rationalisation.

[HeffalumpHistory]

Did you text her back?

If just say "sorry, I'm skint too!"

Bit of a cheek though, I'd never ask a friend for that amount of cash! Not many people have that kind of money spare these days

[crayfish]

Just say "sorry no, I don't have £700 to spare". End of chat.

It's tricky though, I had a friend who was constantly asking to borrow money and often got a bit huffy if I refused, even though it was usually because I didn't have it. You just have to be firm and say "no sorry, I can't" every time. I would always try to lend money if a friend is desperate but in my case the friend wanted it for cigarettes usually.

[ample]

Just say no.
I wouldn't get into telling her that it's a lot of money etc or that you don't have the money spare (in case she comes back to you with a counter-offer; say £300 then you'll be put on the spot again)

'No, sorry, I've just bought a house'' is honest and to the point. You don't need to apologise but saying sorry usually softens the blow disappointment.