To wonder if other people struggle to do the basic shit

[Abbinob]

that you have to do in life/parenting e.g

Leaving the house ready with the toddler before 1pm, if its a nursery day i get DS ready, put yesterdays clothes on then come back and shower- if it's a work day DP is off so I just get me ready and out by 6:30am then he sorts DS but how do people get showered, dry their hair, make up, sort hair out, feed toddler, dress toddler, convince toddler to put shoes on etc all before 9am?

Food shopping- bane of my life. half of it ends up in the freezer never to be defrosted in favour of strolling across the road to to the shops for a ready meal and seems to costs a billion pounds.

Cleaning/tidying- I just cant be fucked half the time. it's not filthy but it's never tidy really

Let alone having a social life. everyone else i know seems to do so many...things.for fun!

Probably, i'm eternally lazy or something

what really makes a difference is having a partner who shares everything.
one does the school run in the mornings the other in the afternoon.
one cooks the other cleans the kitchen.
one hoovers the other mops
etc
also involving dc when old enough.
they take their dirty clothes to the washing basket and put the clean ones away. they tidy and hoover their own room. they clean the bathroom sink...

It is a struggle. I take great joy in makeup type stuff so see that as "me time" in the morning. All clothes ironed and hung up on sunday evening whilst watching TV i have missed in the week. We do a hanger with everything on (socks, pants/undies/tights) for each person so every morning is calmer. Not running around looking for clean tights without holes.
My home is not as organised or tidy as i would like. I am getting a cleaner when ds starts school in september and our nursery fees are replaced by cheaper after school club.
Dh does weekly shop on Saturday mornings when Ds and I do swimming.

Food is my biggest guilt. I dont find time or energy. We eat lots of salad, fruit veg so not unhealthy, it ia just that I am a terribly lazy cook. I make foody salads ALL the time but never anything that takes more than 15min.

Tbh we are always out the house early for work (DH does weekdays but we are at the weekend too) but the children are left alone if need be to make that happen.

DH takes them into the bathroom with him and they chuck shampoo bottles at him play whilst he showers and pootle around upstairs whilst he gets ready. So kind of just getting on with it as if they're not there but I know a lot of people wouldn't like that.

The DCs themselves breakfast at nursery so only need nappy change dressing, hands and face wash and tooth brushing to be ready to leave. I leave at 6.30am so I'm out before they wake up.

That said, we are also struggling at the moment and I believe it is tiredness. I know I could make lunch/ breakfast the night before, and meal plan and batch cook but in the evenings I am so exhausted I just shove some crap food down (hash browns and fried eggs last night) and get straight into bed. Only to wake up more exhausted

Doesn't really make a difference to us green, we're just both exhausted. It may be because we have stressful FT jobs as well as children though

It's hard. Parenthood is a constant juggling act.

We leave the house around 7:15 on week days (four kids) and both head to work. Fortunately they're old enough to get themselves dressed and breakfasted or I'd be getting up at 5am! I've now cut my hours from FT to 20 hours per week because it just wasn't manageable. We also have a cleaner once a week.

Right now I have a stack of washing, ironing, dusting and cleaning to do.... As well as emptying and reloading the dishwasher... And I can't motivate myself to do it, crap TV and MN is a better option

I also didn't have time to do a food shop yesterday because one of my DCs was off school.

DH is in the garden on his iPad so motivating myself to do any work when he isn't doing anything isn't top of my list of priorities

Lndn "Food is my biggest guilt. [...] I make foody salads ALL the time"

How can you be guilty about that? It sounds great. What are "foody salads" and do your dcs eat them too?
Ideas please!

I mainly try not to worry about the house and stuff

I can get every one up and out for 715 but leave mass destruction behind!

Everyone and then I read a report from children's services at work though and the bits about messy houses get to me , have to remind myself there are much bigger issues in the houses in the reports than the mess

Mornings: DH sorts out school-age DD and I sort out toddler and newborn (12wks).

Up 6.15, newborn fed & clean nappy, shower, hair, makeup, teeth, dressed.

Wake toddler 7.00, has cup of milk in cot while I have a cup of tea and sort out
nursery bag/make beds/put bags in car.

7.15 - toddler dressed & clean nappy, teeth brushed.

7.30 - toddler sits in high chair with banana/cheese/toast while I wash up/tidy kitchen/put newborn in car seat.

7.40 - shoes and coats on.

7.45 - toddler and newborn in car, drop both off at nursery on way to work.

All packed lunches made up/bottles sterilised/clothes laid out the night before.

DH cooks, I clean. We share the laundry and tidying. Try never to leave a room empty-handed, and one small bin/basket in each room for toys etc - throw them in on the way out of the room then sort into what belongs where once a week or so.

House is tidy ish but not spotless! Bedding changed fortnightly, hoover 2x weekly, big food shop done Sat morning by me and the two kids while DH is at work. All shopping stays in car until both DC are asleep then gets unpacked in peace and quiet.

At least that's how we aim for it to work...

My hacks are.

Washing every day, I hate it when it builds up.

Keep downstairs reasonable and blitz upstairs when we have time.

Ignore teen room, which has taken me many years to perfect 😳

I keep meals simple but I like cooking so it's not a chore for me.

Keep skin care stuff by my bed so I do my routine whilst I'm sat comfy in bed as often by then my legs ar starting to give way.

I keep my make up in the lounge so I can always find a minute to do it, I've done this for years and through five kids and it really helps.

Now al indeed to do is fit in some exercise because that's wher I really do struggle.

I have no idea. Everyone just seems to be better at everything than I am. More adult or something.

When I just had one kid I could manage, kind of. I've got three now though and it's all falling apart. My doctor put me on a low dose of Adderall which is helping somewhat.

rainbowstardrops - Are you me?!

I feel the same OP, me and DS leave the house at 6.45 on weekdays and back at 18.00, both knackered. Lots of good advice from others, but my two pennies worth is this:

After DS has gone to bed I spend 15 mins doing something, it might be loading dishwasher, sweeping the floor, doing the bins but I do this before I sit down collapse

I set an alarm for a consistent bed time, and try to stick to this. I give myself 30 mins to read or simply lie in bed but I find the routine helps me sleep better

I also have one "lunchtime project" a day, be that an online food shop, or booking a GP appointment, or doing some personal emails. But restricted about what I can do due to location of my work, but if it's email/internet/phone based I do it there (less screen time in evening also helps sleep)

I'm resigned to having no lay ins until DS is a teenager...

I'm sahm at the moment so that makes things easier, but I'm exhausted most days after looking after pre-schooler and a baby, plus all the cleaning and cooking etc.
I do about 99,99% of the housework (DH takes out the bin... Sometimes)
He works non stop at the moment so I don't expect more from him tbh.

My policy is to stay in bed as long as i can in the morning, a good day starts after 7 i think
I shower in the evening, kids bath in the evening too.
DS goes to nursery couple of mornings a week, we usually make it there around 9.

Most days i manage ok, but i do wish I could have a cleaner... And a cook too would be great.
Things that tip me over the edge is taking on extra projects like making a fecking charlotte cake today for our anniversary - never again!
Or painting and building a playhouse for DS, or painting other stuff around the house.. (I've probably lost it a bit with painting)
The problem is I'm addicted to pinterest and always fallfor the pretty pictures and think "well how hard can it be"....

I'm sahm at the moment so that makes things easier, but I'm exhausted most days after looking after pre-schooler and a baby, plus all the cleaning and cooking etc.
I do about 99,99% of the housework (DH takes out the bin... Sometimes)
He works non stop at the moment so I don't expect more from him tbh.

My policy is to stay in bed as long as i can in the morning, a good day starts after 7 i think
I shower in the evening, kids bath in the evening too.
DS goes to nursery couple of mornings a week, we usually make it there around 9.

Most days i manage ok, but i do wish I could have a cleaner... And a cook too would be great.
Things that tip me over the edge is taking on extra projects like making a fecking charlotte cake today for our anniversary - never again!
Or painting and building a playhouse for DS, or painting other stuff around the house.. (I've probably lost it a bit with painting)
The problem is I'm addicted to pinterest and always fallfor the pretty pictures and think "well how hard can it be"....

Yup. I hear you. I nearly lost my shit the other week because I forgot to send my son with dinner money AGAIN
I'm working 4 days and struggling to manage. Today has been ok, despite poorly child as I have not binned the meat due to be eaten today but have cooked it all and the washing basket can have its lid on again. Is no longer towering and that is an achievement. When I do something small I tend to get on s roll. Sigh. It is bloody hard

I know where you're coming from. I have suspected ASD so I'm sure that plays a part. Also undiagnosed depression and anxiety. Throw in a bit of laziness and that's me in a nutshell really.

I get frustrated regarding housework because I get a massive boost out of keeping on top of things but struggle to get motivated. I then beat myself up for not being good enough. It's a vicious cycle. I do the bare minimum, so the kitchen is cleaned daily, dishwasher on etc. I do a load of laundry but then it just sits in the basket for days until I get around to folding and putting it away.

My problem is that I get overwhelmed when there's loads to do and then I don't know where to start so I just sit there fighting an internal battle with myself over what to do first. Before I know it it's too late.

Every now and then I get my arse into gear and get loads done. I spent 3 hours cleaning the whole of the upstairs of our house the other week, I felt fantastic afterwards.

Since going from 1 to 2 dc I've been exhausted as well, they are 3.5 and 1. Hoping things get easier as they both get older.

Those are my reasons excuses anyway. Thankfully my dp chips in which really helps.

It's the want to do it that makes the difference I don't leave the house without having a shower doing my hair and make up, I hate my house being a mess so I wouldn't be happy to sit in mess, I like to workout so I go religiously no matter how tired I am. I don't like to cook so we en up with lots of frozen dinners.

I have routines for everything though a mix of being a control freak and a creature of habit, I do the same things in the same order everyday it helps me and is great for DS he knows the drill for everything it makes life run smoothly I know not everyone can live with strict routines though.

We have DS 2.3 and 5mo. We're both at home (DP WFH, me mat leave/v part time). It's really not unusual for the toddler to be in PJs all day if we aren't going out. We have a cleaner too. Really there should be enough adult time to dress one toddler but it's drama and washing minimisation that takes priority.

I'm a mess. (Overweight, unkempt, badly dressed and hairy).

Still reckon I'm living the dream.

HowBadIsThisPlease
Might not be relevant to you, but couldn't help noticing your comment about your Dds socks, I had the same with my eldest and it was how I discovered his sensory issues. He had to wear particular ones and always inside out!

Dry my hair and do my makeup??? HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! Good one!

I get dd to choose her clothes the night before. I do to.
If she agrees to wear them the following morning I get time to bung some washing on and, if I'm lucky the dishwasher.

DH is away Monday to Friday. I have DD toddler and work 3 days. There is no choice, shit has to be done so we just get on with it.

Getting ready for work: I shower in the evening, wake before DD get ready have breakfast then wake her and we go straight out the door to nursery. Mostly my work is fairly casual but occasionally I have to be suited and booted.

Washing and cleaning done either in evening or in and around toddler on my off days. Clean bathroom while she's in bath, washing up or cleaning kitchen she sits in highchair next to me with toys or finishing her pudding for example. Coreless Dyson helps immensely. I also don't iron.....something has to give.

Food, I over cook on weekends so we have left overs for my lunches and dinners on work days. DD has all meals at nursery so only needs snacks. Food shopping has to be done with a list and a meal plan.

Social life, I have a hobby I do generally once a week on weekends. DH gets left to parent for a few hours, he's fine.

It's not easy, I don't sit down very much. I work a lot of overtime when DD naps or after she goes to bed. I'm ridiculously organized and we follow a very similar routine week in week out. I'm honestly not sure how I'd cope with another child but there would be no choice we'd just have to manage.

When DH is ever home life is so much easier. I do wonder what it would be like if he was home full time, I'd have so much less to do....I'd probably be bored!!

It's taken me YEARS to finally manage it without anyone shouting or crying (me usually)

But I found I invest a billion hours on the weekend in washing everything we own and cleaning everything because I won't get time in the week (I work full time) so have given up my only free day on weekend when DC's go to dads to save on stress.
This is probably why I am single forever 'no sorry can't go out tonight I have to wash school uniforms as they are thick and take ages to dry' 'sorry I am unblocking the shower this weekend'

I am single so the DD's are expected to do a certain level of helping. They take turns to wash up after dinner, tidy their rooms, put their laundry away etc.
I do most of the actual cleaning, they do tidying.
I buy food online most of the time but I live and work near shops so always going on my lunch to buy stuff. Today I had 6 lettuces in the fridge that we can't possibly eat before they go off, but I have one loo roll left!

I have one child, a supportive husband and a cleaner. We both work full time.

Any more kids and no cleaner and I'd drown.

I wake up about 45mins-1 hour before dd so i can have some peace to get showered, haor, make up etc.. Then i have breakfast at the same time as dd, get her dressed, teeth brushed.