To wonder if other people struggle to do the basic shit

[Abbinob]

that you have to do in life/parenting e.g

Leaving the house ready with the toddler before 1pm, if its a nursery day i get DS ready, put yesterdays clothes on then come back and shower- if it's a work day DP is off so I just get me ready and out by 6:30am then he sorts DS but how do people get showered, dry their hair, make up, sort hair out, feed toddler, dress toddler, convince toddler to put shoes on etc all before 9am?

Food shopping- bane of my life. half of it ends up in the freezer never to be defrosted in favour of strolling across the road to to the shops for a ready meal and seems to costs a billion pounds.

Cleaning/tidying- I just cant be fucked half the time. it's not filthy but it's never tidy really

Let alone having a social life. everyone else i know seems to do so many...things.for fun!

Probably, i'm eternally lazy or something

I'm sorry you are struggling,but selfishly I must say I'm glad I'm not the only one.

I'd like to add something -
Growing up, my Mum had the opposite attitude. If she wasn't martyring herself to the cleaning/washing/domestic crap then it was WRONG! She was a SAHP and yet always busy busy busy. She was permanently stressed and took it out on us a lot.
Sod that. I am a SAHP and probably do less than 1/4 of what she always did. Nobody died of not having vacuumed for a few days, who gives a crap if the sheets are several weeks old? I do the minimum we need to function and spend the rest of my time mumsnetting actually with my children.
Everyone fed, no one dead is a good mantra. Nobody is going to be on their death bed thinking "Oh I WISH I'd spent more time cleaning my kitchen!"

I went to look at a nursery last week and was proud that I'd managed to leave the house at 9.30 with both of us dressed and house not a total tip. And then it dawned on me that when I go back to work I'm going to have do this by 8am. Oh well.

DH works really long hours (out the door at 7:20 and not back most nights until between 7-8:15) so all housework, cooking, food shopping and child rearing is on me.

I've found the most effective way is to get myself up before anyone else, 6:00am I'm up, get myself washed, dressed, hair and make up done and then put clean washing away and sort dirty washing for the day. I have a little schedule in my head for cleaning and washing throughout the week. Then I find the biggest help EVER is to give DD a bath BEFORE dinner. This way I take her up, get her in the bath at around 4:30, I wash my hair in this time if I need to in the shower or use the time to clean the bathroom then were downstairs by about 5:15 and she is ready for bed, this then gives me time to cook while I'm not exhausted!! This has been the best routine I've had!!

The tips here are good. Finally I have a cleaner as after much thought I realised I could not cope. This takes stress off. It forces me to do a big tidy/sort/get stuff off floors/clear surfaces for cleaner before they come. I tie my hair back, don't wash it every day and shower in the evening. I keep meaning to sort out clothes for next day the night before etc. I get food delivered via internet. I do stir fry which is easy and quick, just chuck things in the pan, don't bother with a wok, or I would eat ready meals all the time.

Mine are older now, but my dd2 was always a pain in the mornings when I wanted to get ready, she got up at 7, so I got up at 6.30 for a shower and hair wash, then I would do my make up in the downstairs loo while she was having breakfast. I still do my make up downstairs! If she heard me get up and started pestering I would remind her that before 7am was MY time and I wasn't on duty.

I have naturally domestic tendencies and I sometimes have to take a moment to admire how well I run my house. I say this under the cloak of MN anonymity only, of course.

That said, I struggled mightily with all the things you list when my kids were toddlers. I didn't particularly love it.

I also hated going out because I couldn't deal with the punishment of the next morning. Now I go out 2 or 3x a week. I love my life now. It will get easier.

Bathing the kids in the morning!

Is she on glue???

I think a bit of it is tiredness, DP works long hours too, 7am-9pm in summer (so, now) He works 4 days a week and i work 3, sometimes we have a day off at the same time but that's only if he works a Sunday so we're both working which means he gets Saturday off and i'm off then too, otherwise (most of the time really) it's either work or a long day alone with DS.
and i just fail to be sensible and go to bed before something stupid like 1am, when i have to be up for work at 5. and DS doesn't sleep well at all so i often end up getting a few hours sleep squashed in a toddler bed

Showering in the evening became so essential to my cleanliness that I actually installed one downstairs so that I could do it. Cos otherwise the kids would be woken up by the noise of the one upstairs. Hey presto! I became cleaner overnight!

(Bit drastic but best purchase ever)

I think there's a big difference between having to be ready and not

For example Monday -Friday, Dh and I and two children are up, ready and out door by 8:30am latest. We have to be for school and work. It's literally wake, shower, eat, shoes, go. It's kinda rushed and not very nice

Weekends we don't have to be anywhere in particular so are always on go slow and never book anything before 1pm. Today kids woke between 8.30-9am. 9-10am everyone lounged in bed with books/ sticker books/ talking. We got up and mooched around making leisurely breakfast . And now it's 11am and nobody is ready at all yet. I'm just about to take bath. Kids are diving into toys, Dh is reading magazines. We have a bbq to attend at 3pm so have hours yet to loaf around ( then panic into a taxi at 2.45pm late probably!)

I get the kids (2 and 5) up, fed and dressed first in the morning. They are allowed to watch crap on TV once they're ready. Then they sit like zombies in front of Power Rangers for 30 minutes while I get dressed and we all leave about 7.45am.

I was very very tired when mine were babies/toddlers. A perpetual fig you aren't even fully aware of

Also, it's easy to lose motivation for doing things that can be put off for another day. You then get no reward for having completed something so you don't feel good, so you lose motivation again

There's a lot of drudgery when they are little, but it passes

Consider also whether you might be depressed - there are online inventories
Red flags would be loss of appetite or eating a lot, never wanting to socialise, sleep problems, loss of libido, crying, inability to feel happy - laugh etc

fug not fig

I work FT with 2 under 4 and am heavily pregnant with no 3, and do the morning routine without DH. So everything is a lot harder at the minute.

I sort absolutely everything the night before, clothes, lunches, bags etc, and don't shower in morning. I get up 30 mins before the kids so I'm dressed and ready, then I wake them, physically dress them so its quicker, give them cereal and let them watch cartoons, while I eat my BF, gather up all bags etc, then do everyone's teeth. I've got it down to an hour each morning. I then do 2 seperate drops off which take 15min and have an hour commute- so im knackered by 9am.

When I'm off or on weekdnds, I faff like crazy though!! But when u have to be out the door u have no choice but to find a way.

I do an online shop, and visit shop in my lunch break if I need bread and milk. Kids are fed at childcare which makes dinner easy though as I only have to suit dh and I.

I think you do have to make full use of small bursts of energy, interspersed with rewarding sit downs

I love spring and summer - no ties, blouse buttons or pinafores to faff with for DD3 - just dress and cardigan. So much easier.

Same here! I work nights and in order to get kids out to school on time, lunch bags, water bottles, school bags, uniform, shoes, and underwear are all laid out the night before. I try and do a batch cook on my days off so I can give myself a break at some point in the week. I don't think my home will ever look like it did pre-kids until they are adults. However, I no longer beat myself up about it. C'est la vie.

I'm with art, do what you have to do in the week, so up, dressed, fed and out the door. Dp Washes up after dinner while I do kids hw/reading and put a wash on every night and go to the gym twice a week after the kids have gone to bed and that's it. Weekends are much slower and we catch up on clearing the mess then.
I get on line shops and do quick meals in the week (sausage, mash etc) and save the fresh/healthy/longer cooking meats for the weekend.

I shower, dry hair and do make-up before getting the 3 year old out of bed. The 6 year old gets himself out of bed, dresses himself and sorts his own breakfast then reads/does Lego until it's time to put his shoes on. The difference in effort needed between the 3 and 6 year old is immense, but the 3 year old is way easier than when she was 2. Although if she's in a stubborn mood she can still make us late.

Hang in there, it does get easier.

I feel your pain - it's hard

We are both full time teachers and both have a lot of exam classes so work is really full on at the moment.

We only have one ds who is 2.5 years and to be honest, I can't imagine doing it with more than one (not an option for us anyway).

I get all clothes and bags etc ready the night before. We are up at 6am and have a routine of having a cup of tea /showering /dressing that somehow means I ready to leave the house just after 7am (I start earlier at my school) and DH and DS leave at 7.30am. DS has breakfast at nursery.

I do cook each night or take something out of the freezer for dinner so we have something home cooked but I get home with DS at 5pm so have slightly more time than some people.

Ironing is sent out to be done as I don't have time to do it. Housework is done once DS is in bed around my planning so I'm usually up late

Me and DS generally go for the shopping on a Sat but I combine that with seeing my nan and aunt which is nice and makes it more fun.

It's exhausting to be honest and DH has a habit of volunteering to do other people's gardens/hedges/trees at weekends so I'm.quite often alone with DS which makes it hard to do everything - however, I have put my foot down and said it needs to greatly reduce so that should help.

I often feel like I can't do a good job of everything however, I do the best I can at home, for ds and for the kids I teach and I figure I can't do anymore than that.