To think if a woman complains of domestic violence, our first response should not be calling her a liar.

[mrgrouper]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-36403396

Amber Heard has been granted a restraining order against Johnny Depp. There are photos circulating on the Internet of her with a nasty bruise over her right eye which she states occurred Depp caused by throwing an iPhone at her.

Many comments on Twitter claim the photos are faked, (apparently there was a photo taken a day later which does not show a bruise), people calling her manipulative and others pointing out as she is an actress, this is probably just a Machiavellian piece of show acting.

I have been through DV on two occasions and each time was branded a liar. About time both male and female victims of DV are supported and not shamed.

I didn't know about that incident to be fair with Kate moss. He's self confessed ex drug user during that period I remember too.

I just think it should be investigated. I don't know anything about her at al really so it's not fair for me to speculate, I only know bits about him and I wasn't there, so can't possibly say what happened.

As this is high profile I hope she does go down the correct justice route for these reasons that women should speak out and Legally financially she should get what she is entitled to - I was explaining from what I have seen, the reasons she is being judged. They aren't right reasons whatsoever.

Having called the police myself about a partner in the past they tried to encourage me to appreciate how he might feel too, although he was visibly angry and I said I was scared. Even the justice system is often biased

No it's not just that but women falsely accusing men hasn't helped matters. I'm not getting into the insurance debate. This is about DV.

I'm also one of those who believes those accused and the accuser have a right to have their identity kept secret until a court case comes to an end. Don't see the point in celebrities airing their marital problems until a divorce is settled or a criminal case has come to an end. That's my view and nobody will make me change my mind on that, as no one has in the past. I just wait until courts have made a decision rather than believing either side.

Yes, it's just as bad as coming out with the pious (and nauseatingly smug, for some reason) 'I believe you' at any and every declaration of abuse.

Support groups like the freedom programme have to seperate the sexes so everyone feels safe. Women have had to fight hard and raise money and awareness for
These spaces there is nothing to stop men doing so but it's easier to blame women for not doing it for them and what does that tell you

It simply does not work when there are mixed groups (male entitlement very often comes into play too in mixed therapy groups it's difficult to deal with) and also if a member has always had difficult or abusive relationships with the opposite sex which is often the case they are unlikely to feel safe

YANBU. If this was an ugly, non celeb type, it would be looked at, completely differently. I do believe in innocent until proven guilty however, I think she's getting a hard time from some

I can't imagine why anyone would look at that man's recent demeanour and not believe her.

It's a difficult one as the Police have said there was no evidence of any crime when they arrived at the house. They just left a business card apparently.

I agree with you, OP. Which bit of 'she was given a restraining order' don't some people understand? Those are not given out for no reason

The only thing I think about this is that Vanessa Paradis must be chortling. Both of them behaved absolutely appallingly towards her and her children and I have no sympathy for either of them.

I don't think it's easy to absolutely believe one party over another in a case like this (blown up over media). He has apparently pointed out she posted herself on Instagram after the alleged event, with no sign of harm done. The police also found 'no evidence of a criminal offence occurring' when they were called in. Of course there may be reasons for that as well. Trying to be impartial, but something seems a bit odd about the whole thing in all honesty.

i don"t believe of disbelieve her

ocelot, actually in the states getting a temporary restraining order is normally based on little more than one party making allegations. That's a good thing, because it normally means that those who are genuinely in danger aren't expected to jump through hoops to have their safety immediately protected. But it doesn't prove anything one way or another or guarantee there is substance to the claims.

The police also found 'no evidence of a criminal offence occurring' when they were called in

^ this.

As Samcro has said. I don't believe or disbelieve her.

It is inevitable that there will be speculation considering that he is very famous. I certainly believe that he has a drink/drug problem (that was clear on Graham Norton last week) but impossible to know whether he is violent. I don't believe or disbelieve her. Her claim for spousal support after only a year of marriage and no children doesn't make her look good though.

The police took a report of the incident, and left a card with details for her to call and discuss further if she wished. She hasn't made that phone call, and I know why. I've been the woman who hasn't made that phone call, I've been the woman too frightened and frozen to do anything. Add into that the fact he's a household name, and the fear of not being believed must multiply by thousands.

The idiots that say "there's not enough proof" have never been there. There very often isn't any proof. She has taken photos from this and previous assaults.

Abuse survivors, and they are largely women, will typically be abused in numerous ways, for years, before they leave or even consider going to the police. Many will never do either. Because abuse grinds you down.

Of course we should automatically believe and support a victim. The false claims are so few and far between, but MRAs would love for that doubt to infiltrate any support of survivors.

Before any of this happened though, I thought it was quite blatant that she had only married him as a career move which had gone spectacularly wrong as they both became untouchable laughing stock car crashes rather than bankable stars. And he was a deluded randy old goat who was arrogant enough to think she actually fancied his bloated plasticised old cadaver and loved him for himself when she obviously didn't.

Voldy, I'm sorry for what you've been through. I've been physically and mentally abused in life as well. However, it wasn't she didn't report it, the police stated they found no evidence of it apparently occurring. I'm possibly just too suspicious of people, I just cannot instantly assume in this case that she is 100% a victim of DV, and he should be publicly judged and damned.

She hasn't made that phone call, and I know why. I've been the woman who hasn't made that phone call, I've been the woman too frightened and frozen to do anything.

Mmkay, but she's not been too frightened or frozen to call in lawyers and ask for a restraining orders for her (and her dog) ask for £50k a month, file divorce papers or pose for the press outside the court has she?

Interesting that she's only 'frozen' when it involves the authorities to whom making false statements is a criminal offence...

Slightly off topic - but mrgrouper, women as the overwhelmingly more common victims of domestic violence deserve safe spaces where no men are allowed. Men have their own spaces where no women are allowed, why do you expect women to make space for them?

Well she's safely clear of him now. He could be an abuser and no one should be abused. However she's not someone I admire or respect.

Nope i'm not in the automatic 'i believe you' camp when it comes to hollywood types - both sexes, all and any claims. Too many narcissists, egos, liars, and of course trained actors and actresses. Let criminal courts decide on the evidence if/when charges are laid but i'm certainly not going to automatically side with either one.

It wasn't my first reaction.

a year of marriage but together about 3 years?

Yes of course we should believe her.

This thread is so depressing

When you have a man screaming in your face threatening violence, that is violent in itself, seemingly out of control high on drugs and drink it can be absolutely terrifying as you become aware how much stronger they actually are and how there is a side to them you have never seen before

How you might feel a few hours later when you feel in a safer position you are not being threatened can be completely different

There is no proof he was 'high on drink and drugs' though, a lot of assumptions going on here. According to the officers on the scene, there was no evidence this happened, not a mark on her. We obviously do not know the full story at all. However, as other posters have said this sort of allegation is for a criminal court to decided.