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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to swerve one of these weddings?

65 replies

Fluffyseagull · 27/05/2016 16:29

Were going to weddings in the night Saturday and Sunday. One is a mutual mate and one is DH mate. Aibu to miss one? I feel selfish but feeling that my bank hol weekend is being taken up by weddings. Were also going through fertility treatment no one knows and im not really up to innane questions about my uterus from strangersGrin

OP posts:
Notonthestairs · 27/05/2016 17:59

Some of the IVF drugs made me gain weight which made me look pregnant which was especially galling. (They also gave me a hairy moonface Shock). It also made me sad, emotional and inclined to stay in the house. Happy days, not.

Go to your friends reception and miss the other one - unless you are good friends the bride and groom probably wont notice to be honest. You can always text them and let the know you cant make it afterall.

Goingtobeawesome · 27/05/2016 18:29

Fluffy, apologies, I missed crucial parts. I wish you well.

2catsnowaiting · 27/05/2016 18:43

Pie10, What a shame to see a wedding as a waste of time. I wish I got invited to any weddings, haven't been to one in years and I love them. And, for various reasons, health and financial, ended up missing several of my closest friends weddings. I was really sad to miss them.

readytorage · 27/05/2016 20:24

If no one knows you're on fertility treatment then they're not going to ask you about it Confused

Original poster
Fluffyseagull · 27/05/2016 20:31

Ready to rage i dont want people to ask me about it or anything to do with pregnancy thats the whole point! And i certainly do not want people knowing as its a private matter. Thank you to all other sensible replies

OP posts:
readytorage · 27/05/2016 21:32

Why would they ask you about it if they don't know though? And why on earth would people just bring up the subject of pregnancy? I've been to more weddings than I can shake a stick at before and after children and it has never ever come up in conversation once. I also wouldn't ask anyone about fertility treatment at such an event (even if I did know they were receiving it) as it's not the time or place.

Still, if you've not raised the subject then YABU to think anyone would even think to ask you about it.

Original poster
Fluffyseagull · 27/05/2016 21:34

Because ready at every social event i get asked if were trying or if were having a baby so aibu to want to avoid this as believe me it happens all the time

OP posts:
readytorage · 27/05/2016 21:36

Also, are you going to avoid every other social occasion in case people guess that you're receiving fertility treatment?

readytorage · 27/05/2016 21:36

Tell them to piss off!! Seriously please don't stop going out because people are so bloody nosy.

Original poster
Fluffyseagull · 27/05/2016 21:38

No ready i am not however as my fertility treatment has only just started im feeling sensitive and have been.distressed as im worried it will not work. I hope this response justifies my feelings although i shouldnt have to justify how i feel about the situation

OP posts:
Original poster
Fluffyseagull · 27/05/2016 21:39

And its not about people guessing they can guess away i dont like them asking in the first place!

OP posts:
readytorage · 27/05/2016 21:41

Well you've asked on AIBU and I'm only giving you my opinion.

I hope the treatment works, OP.

Try and enjoy yourself in the meantime though and do tell people to mind their own business and anyone who asks you about fertility treatment really has issues with etiquette.

seastargirl · 27/05/2016 21:45

I think having just started fertility treatment you're completely entitled to feel sensitive and want to hide away from anyone and everyone who is even likely to make some sickly patronising comment about the patter of little feet etc!

If it's a close friend do that, then send your husband to the other while you wear pyjamas eat chocolate and enjoy a film night. Fingers crossed the treatment works and next wedding you'll be showing of a bump and moaning about swollen ankles.

I was on clomid for my wedding party (we married abroad) and it made me feel like I was on menopause, the hot sweats actually made me rip my dress as I just had to get it off me, so completely understand how hard it can be!

Ilovewillow · 27/05/2016 22:00

I've been through fertility treatment of varying types several times and it can make you feel vulnerable and unwell! I was also very private and didn't want to discuss it. If you don't feel up to it don't go - send hubby of you feel someone should go. My husband ended up alone at a Bar mitzvah to his joy! Hope all goes well!

Floisme · 27/05/2016 22:48

It never ceases to amaze me how insensitive some people on these threads can be.

Do whatever will help you get through it, op. All the best.

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