To find breastfeeding exhausting and not especially convenient

[Namelessbabe]

Feeding is going 'well' in so far as weight gain etc goes. Bi

My babies slept much longer when ff. Much longer. And DH could then help. And 2-3 weeks into ff stopped night feeding altogether.
No need for the face.

In the early days BF is outrageously exhausting in my humble experience. As you progress it gets soooooo easy and sadly it is a solve all past about 7-8 months when most people have given up. I was seriously considering giving up after 4 months on DS then overnight it just got way easier and I continued until 2.5. It really was fantastic and given that I had FF my older 2 I could see where it came into its own for our family. Actually past 4 months the hardest bit was other people's view that BF should end essentially in the maternity hospital earlier.

I agree that we (women) are not well prepared or informed enough for how hard and emotional breastfeeding can be. My breastfeeding friends tell me that even when it's going well it can be incredibly demanding, exhausting and lonely, especially in the early days. I did all the classes I could but it's really something that you cannot practice until baby is here, and by then you are already exhausted and hormonal. It's tough and I do admire any woman who does it. I was gutted I wasn't able to, but I saw five feeding advisors who were all stumped by my breast- refusing DS and there was nowhere left to turn. I also saw it as his rejection of me and that made it doubly hard.

I do disagree about 'convenience' as that's all relative and there are pros and cons to each. Yes there is sterilising and stuff with formula feeding, but other people can help with feeding which gives you a break. Breastfeeding is free and requires no 'stuff' (apart from boobs!) and you can do it in bed etc, but some mums may feel 'tied' to their baby and it can be tricky to stop.

We all need to be positive and support each other's choices, most people just want what's best for their baby and their family but that looks different for each person.

YABU and YANBU, it's convenient for some and not convenient/downright difficult for others. It seems to be random/ a matter of luck how people find it.

I'm only 7 weeks in but so far it's easy and convenient. It hurt for the first 3 or 4 days and then I had weird night sweats for about a week but apart from that I just pop DS on my boobs for 10ish minutes every couple of hours and he eats. He's very efficient!

RE different culture's expectations I can only speak about Italy but when asked if I was breastfeeding by my gran/random aunties etc. they all said well done, make sure you eat enough and rest. I think Italy has better breastfeeding rates than the UK and they all acknowledged/knew that it can be hard work.

I meant informed and prepared by hcp's by the way.

Of course YANBU. I hated every minute of it. Baby fed constantly for 3 months, I couldn't leave the house, was exhausted and resentful and to crown it all the rush of oxycontin which is supposed to make you feel wonderful made me feel sick. No one told me about that.

"Someone else can feed them. Especially good if you have PND."

You think stopping breastfeeding or not breastfeeding is helpful for PND even if it's not breastfeeding which is causing the depression in the first place or making it worse?

Planning to breastfeed, if this is followed by functional breastfeeding, has a strong protective effect against PND so I don't think someone else taking over the feeding is always going to be the best plan for dealing with PND.

mini

I meant that if you are struggling, and you formula feed, as I did, some respite can be gained, and energy replenished, but having someone else do the night feeds.

It was in response to your comment "do formula fed babies not feed at night then?", which was in response to someone else's comment about taking the pressure off themselves

In my case, not being able to breastfeed, having no support, having had an EMCS, definitely caused PND in part. So breastfeeding wasn't going to protect me