To be defensive about my child's school offer on appeal?

[Villagebike3]

My child was 3 points away from getting into a super selective grammar school. However, there were a range of mitigating circumstances that meant I had reason to appeal for a place. A place was offered today, my child is thrilled and so are we as we believe it is the right school.

There was no tutoring, although we got all the 11+ books from Amazon. Many children will come from private schools with small classes and good behaviour. My child was in the local primary in a class of 31 with 5 SEN children.

Another child got into the school as they are very bright and won a place straight off. I am friends with the dad and approached him in the playground to say our children will be going together to the school.

His comment really pissed me off: "really? How did you pull that off? It is a super selective."

AIBU to think he was 'dissing' my son? Who is a straight level 6 Secure across the board!

The selective grammar school I went to was super selective. They also interviewed the parents to make sure they fit with the school ethos too. Maybe this is why playground dad was so surprised, he couldn't understand why they'd let someone as pleasant as you in.

OP- Could it be the playground dad is aware of your judgemental attitude & snobbery & was playing you at your own game?

Maybe the dad thought he would bring you down a peg or two ?
If you don't want to be judged don't judge other people.

Gosh the explanation was as twattish as the original lazy and inaccurate use of "SEN children" as a synonym for "disruptive".

And the playground dad could feasibly have meant "Gosh, successful appeals to the supper selective are like hens' teeth".

So he's possibly quite reasonable, whereas you are distinctly unpleasant in thinking that "SEN children" instantly conveys disruption and disadvantage to the rest of the class.

Your child with SN might be disruptive. Don't extrapolate.

Super selective

I don't see how any of this is relevant given that the other child goes to the same school as the OP's child (I assume as the conversation was in the playground), so presumably also has had a large class, likely including children with additional needs.

The OP's ds failed to get a place on the basis of his exams/tests. The other child presumably passed. Appeals are not easy, so 'how did you pull that off' doesn't seem an unreasonable comment.

Hard to understand how someone with a disabled child can be unaware that the way they have referred to disabled children is at the very least problematic.

"The Cocaine Baby"?? Wow, just wow!!

"They also interviewed the parents to make sure they fit with the school ethos too"

For clarity, this is no longer allowed.